Severed Ties

There comes a time in life when you realize there is nothing more than can be said.  You’ve tried all that there is to try.  You’ve studied, prayed, researched, talked, listened, questioned, visited, pursued, reached, loved, held on and now, the only thing left is to let go.  You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.  You can’t help someone who won’t admit to their own addiction.  Only God can.

As I look back at the past several years of my life, I’ve been far from perfect.  I’ve said things out of anger, spoken when I should have been quiet and been reactionary when I should have first allowed time to curtail my emotion.  But… my mistakes have never been mean-spirited or with deliberate malice or meant as an action of hate.  My mistakes have been made with good intent and out of love, even desperation, but never, never out of premeditated hatefulness.

Today, upon seeing an action of deliberate passive aggressive hatefulness toward me and my family and several friends, I have realized that it is time for me to let go.  It isn’t that I will cease to love, but that I will cease to allow this person to have any reign in my life.  It is no longer worth the pain.  I cannot change the drug addict and I refuse to neither hand her the needles nor watch her shoot up nor pretend that I don’t see what she is doing to herself and others.  That pretense causes me pain. 

And you know what… since no one else is going to look after me and care that it causes me pain, I am.  I may stand alone, but I am standing.  I am standing against this addiction.  I am standing against the elitism, the arrogance and the mean-spirited passive aggression.  It is not okay and I’m not going to pretend that it is.

I am done with this person in my life. May God shed light upon the truth and save her and her family from the destruction of her behavior… that is my prayer.  That is my hope.  But, it is no longer something I will watch or have touch my life in any manner.  All ties are severed.  ~