2015 is to be a year of change. That is my one and only resolution. Change.
Things in my life will change and the change will be for the better. Here is what I will do to make this change happen:
I will no longer be fake in order to protect other’s feelings while mine lie unprotected and stepped on. I will no longer waste my time or concern on people who are only concerned with themselves. I will not strive to keep peace when that very peace itself is a sham, a lie. I will not keep people in my life who make me feel unappreciated, unimportant, forgotten and worthless. I will protect my loved ones and I will expect that protection to be reciprocated in my time of need. Otherwise, the relationship will be re-evaluated. I will not apologize for who I am or for the fact that the little things in this existence matter most to me. I will not feel bad about the fact that I am a creative and emotional being, who feels both overwhelming joy and crushing heartache. I will not apologize for the things that I need… like the need to be heard, to be respected, to feel that my heart matters, that my feelings are relevant, that even my silliest request would be met with understanding…to be known and loved so deeply that I am cared for without having to verbalize those wants. The simple fact is that if I am important to you than what is important to me is also important to you. That is love. When you love someone, you strive to show them, and for me love is best shown in the little things. Not lavish gifts, but in simply making me feel important to you.
The latter half of 2014 was one of the darkest times for me and from the darkness new life has been birthed in the form of change. Those who cannot love me in the little things will not be trusted with my heart in the big things. Those to whom I don’t matter, will cease to matter to me and that will be determined by your track record, which speaks truth even though your lips lie. For better is it to be alone, than to be made to feel worthless and "less than" at every turn. There is a defining moment in everyone’s life… a moment when a choice must be made. Live according to others or live according to yourself. I have chosen happiness and in that choice comes the reality that I will cast from my life those that destroy my happiness, no matter what title they bear.
2015 is a year of change and I will set the boundaries necessary to make those changes. I will no longer demand to be heard, for those that love me will hear me and those that don’t are not worth my breath. ~