We have a mean girl
problem at our school; and it sucks.
I could stop with just
that sentence and you would have a good gauge on where my heart stands; but,
being the writer and the angry mom, I won’t.
It’s amazing how society has evolved into a place where bullies are
allowed to take over, not because people deem bullying acceptable; but because
laws have tied their hands from doing anything to stop it. Parents are afraid
to spank, for someone might call Social Services and their children will be
taken away. Teachers, Principals and
Counselors are afraid to discipline, for they might lose their jobs. Laws to protect children have been so mis-used
and even abused, that instead of protecting kids they have created mutant
little monsters.
Yes, I said it. Mean kids are mutant monsters.
When I was in school,
if someone was consistently mean, they got a fist in the face and that pretty
much stopped their negativity. There’s
nothing like being knocked on your ass to give you a new perspective on how you’d
like to live your life. Alas, those were
the olden days when bullies didn’t run rampant because kids were allowed to
take action without the fear of being kicked out of school. If a mean kid punched a nice kid, the nice
kid wasn’t expected to shut up and take it.
He or she hit back. The only way
to stop a bully is to flatten them. Period. If you fight back they will think
twice before ever touching you again.
Today, bullying comes in all shapes and sizes; physical bullying being the least offender. If a kid leaves bruises on another kid, there is evidence of wrongdoing. Instead, they bruise the inside. It's harder to prove and the sting never goes away. Emotional bullying causes the most damage in a child and it's done verbally, via texting and social media.
Kids can’t fight back now. They’re supposed to take the abuse,
turn the other cheek, kill with kindness, blah, blah, blah. That’s all fine and good in LaLa Land, but
that doesn’t work in the real world.
Kids are being emotionally abused and verbally bashed every day and the
message we, adults, are sending is that there is nothing they can do about it.
This ends here!
There IS something they
can do. Fight fire with fire. When that mean girl calls you a bitch or a
stupid, fat, loser and you’ve asked them several times to stop; it is time to take
action. No, you’re not allowed to rip
their hair from their scalp. No, you’re
not allowed to punch them in the mouth or hurl them down the hall like a hockey
puck. Those were the good ‘ol days. Now, you must become as manipulative and
cunning as the mean girls. No, you must
become MORE crafty.
How?
Fight fire with
fire. Take their ammo and use it against
them. If they call you names and then
lie about doing it, don’t get angry; get even.
Here’s an example: When that mean
girl is alone, walk up and whisper quietly in her ear. “If you say bad things about me again, I’m
going to teach you how to shut your mouth.”
Then smile and walk away. When
she tells someone, DENY it. Do the same
thing to her that she is doing to you.
“Oh No!” People are
gasping. “That’s revenge! We shouldn’t teach our children to take
revenge!”
No, by all means, let’s
teach our children to lie down like doormats so that the mutant monsters can
run the world. No, frickin’ thank you!
It’s not
revenge…it's taking action... it’s giving the bully a taste of her own medicine. Maybe then she’ll realize how unfair her
actions are and how frustrating it is to be telling the truth about what
someone said to you and have no one believe you because an adult didn’t witness
the interaction. Give her a spoonful of
her own medicine and let it burn as it goes down.
Key: Just don’t do it at school or if you do, make
sure you are not seen or heard by an adult.
Ironically, the laws will protect you just as they protect the bully.
Is this good advice to
give our kids? Well, it isn’t what I
ever intended to teach; but, then again, the laws have forced my hand.
There are four mean
girls at our school, tormenting at least three of the girls in the sixth
grade. They call them fat, stupid,
losers and bitches. They spread lies
about them and when confronted by an adult figure, they lie and deny having
said anything at all. Despite the fact
that SEVERAL other students have witnessed these things being said, have had
them said directly to them and have overheard them being said in the hallway…. nothing
can be done. The laws have tied the
hands of the school administration. The
laws have created the mutant monsters and have allowed them to thrive in our
school systems.
For the past two years,
my daughter has been killing with kindness and turning the other cheek; but we’re
done with that now. For the past two
years I have been teaching her to ignore the bullies, to be kind, and to be
friendly. But, I was wrong. That method doesn’t work. It only facilitates more emotional abuse.
Our torches are
lit. We are locked and loaded. We are waging war against bullying behavior
and the laws that allow it. This ends
now!
Why?
Because emotional
bullying destroys kids from the inside out.
It kills their self-confidence, it drowns them in humiliation, it
murders their self-esteem and it forces them into depression. Isn’t being a kid hard enough without being
bullied? They’re going through physical
and hormonal changes, they’re feeling awkward as it is without being beaten up
every day. A child can only take so much
before they reach their breaking point.
How many teen suicides
are we going to silently take? How many
school shootings are we going to sit back and watch? How many beatings are we going to silently
let happen? How many kids are we going
to allow to drown themselves in drugs just to escape a reality that we refuse
to help them fix?
I’m a mom and I’m not
going to sit back and silently watch while my kid is pushed to a breaking
point. I won’t. Laws were put in place to protect children
from being abused. We have twisted those
laws to allow children to run over each other and over their parents, teachers
and others in leadership positions. This
must be repaired. Mutant monsters must
be stopped. It ends here!
I agree it's a problem, but I disagree it's a recent one. Bullies ran rampant in the 40s and 50s where I went to school. There were even suicides, but they weren't publicized, of course. I applaud your efforts.
ReplyDeleteBeating our children is not the answer, however, IMNSHO.