Wiping the American Ass

I was cleaning the bathroom this morning and replacing an empty toilet paper roll with a new one.   In my haste, I inadvertently hung the roll so that the toilet paper dispensed from the bottom instead of neatly rolling over the top.  Upon noticing the error of my ways, I quickly corrected it.  My nine year old witnessed this action and asked, “What was wrong with the way it was?”

“I put it on backwards the first time,” I explained.

He stared at the toilet paper and cocked his head to the side.  “There’s a backwards?”  He asked.

“Well, not so much a backwards…” I muttered.  “I just put it on wrong.”

His stare intensified and he squint his eyes.  “There’s a wrong way to put toilet paper on?”

“Yes!”  I exclaimed.  “The right way is when the toilet paper rolls over the top and hangs down ever so slightly,” I explained.

“Why?”  He asked.

“Why?” I repeat, as if he should already understand the ramifications of a toilet paper roll hung awry. 

“Yeah, why?”

I stare blankly, suddenly realizing I have no answer.  There is no justifiable reason other than the fact that I sometimes like to form a little triangle with the square that hangs down.  I tell him about the triangle and he says, “Mom, don’t you just rip the triangle off when it’s time to wipe anyway?”

“Yes.”  I hang my head and sigh.  “Yes, you do.”

He stares at me.  “Then I don’t get it,” he says and walks away.

And it got me thinking…

Our political system isn’t much different than that roll of toilet paper.  Some think it should roll from the top.  Others think it should roll from the bottom.  And as we adhere to our anal, preconceived notions about how it should be or how it has always been … are we missing the fact that regardless of what side it comes from, it’s still toilet paper.  It’s still what we need.   

Up, down, left, right, triangle, no triangle… it doesn’t really matter…because what we should be focusing on is cleaning up our nation, or as I like to call it, wiping the American ass.   ~