Here's Your Sign

“The truth is only uncomfortable for those who are not living by the truth.” 

This is a direct quote from an email I received in response to my blog entitled, “Love is Our Savior;Our Savior is Love.”

The implication of the email as a whole was that, based on what I wrote in my blog, I am not living by God's truth.  For some Christians, living by the truth means they must outwardly and actively pursue what they believe to be God’s agenda.  Whether it is His agenda or not, the manner in which they take action is often quite un-godly.  Let me give you some examples:

If I stand on a street corner and quietly hand out a pamphlet which shares the story of God’s love for humanity in sending His son, Jesus, to die upon the cross for our salvation and redemption… is that un-godly?  No.

If I cook a meal and take it to a sick friend, is that un-godly?  No.

If I take food and clothing to city shelters in need of supplies, is that un-godly?  No.

If I quietly observe the people around me and reach out to anyone who has a need, praying for them and doing whatever I can to help, is that un-godly?  No.

These are all actions of love.  They are not done to gain exposure to oneself.  They are not done to increase one’s income.  They are not done to build one’s ego.  They are done simply as an extension of God’s love.  They carry a message of love through an action of love.

Now, if I plaster red tape across my face and write the word “Life” on it and then adorn myself with signs that say, “God Hates Abortion,” is that un-godly?  Yes.

Before you send me an email stating that abortion is murder and murder is wrong, let me explain.  Abortion IS murder and murder IS wrong, but that isn’t what I’m talking about.  Far better would it be for a person to counsel one-on-one with a frightened, pregnant teenager than to stand on the street with a hate sign and red tape over one’s lips.  The message may hold truth but the action itself is not based in love; and if your actions are not showing God’s love, your message will never be heard.

If you are holding a sign that begins with the words, “God Hates ____” you are not expressing God’s love.  Period.  You are expressing judgment and condemnation and the Bible is very clear on the fact that we are not to judge one another.

Remove the plank from your own eye before you start attacking other people in the name of God and truth and God’s supposed agenda.

And for Heaven's sake, people, stop teaching this crap to your children.  Teach them to love, not to judge.  Teach them to pursue God's truth through actions of love and not actions of hate.

Plastering red tape on a child's mouth doesn't send a message of God's love.  It sends a message of condemnation, judgment and ultimately chases people further from God.

If you want to take a stand against abortion, do it the right way, the loving way, God's way.

I get discouraged by how many Christians behave in ways that are utterly un-Christ-like.  What do I mean by that statement?  Let me first tell you what I DON’T mean.  I’m not talking about the Christians who party a little too hard on weekends or let the occasional curse word cross their lips.  I’m not talking about the Christians who have made mistakes and fallen short of who they wanted to be as a husband or wife.   My goodness, look at the short-comings of David in the Bible, and yet God said David was a man after His own heart.  I’m talking about the Christians that waltz around with an arrogant, elitist, holier-than-thou spirit.  I’m talking about the Christians who hold hate signs and cast judgment on others and do it in the name of God.  I’m talking about the Christians who manipulate Scripture and whose sole focus is on seeking new signs and wonders and pursuing with war-like evangelism the end of the world.  These are the Christians giving Christianity a bad name.  These are the Christians who are distorting God’s love with their actions of hate.  These are the Christians who are un-Christ-like.

If you read the Bible, particularly the New Testament, and you look at the stories of how Jesus interacted with normal people, you will find that he was never elitist nor arrogant nor condemning.  He spoke truth in private and with compassion, and always out of love.

Don’t send me an email telling me the story of when Jesus took a whip and ripped through the temple, because that’s not what I’m talking about here.  Jesus ripped through the temple in righteous anger because the so-called religious people were making a mockery of God.  They were benefiting themselves, their own egos, their own positions, their own agendas in the name of God … and Jesus put them in their place.  Just as He will do to the elitist Christians now, who are taking actions of hate and proclaiming them as God’s love. 

There is only one truth and that truth is love.   So to all of you eltitist, arrogant bigots who call yourselves Christian, here's your sign:  

 

 

Love is our savior; our Savior is Love

As I age, I have come to realize that I have fewer answers and more questions.  I am less rigid on the boundaries of right and wrong, in the context of people’s personal decisions and lifestyle choices.  Things appear more gray than black and white.  Now, before I get a barrage of emails telling me that the Bible is very much black and white and we, as Christians, are not to live in the gray… hear me out. 

We are all very much alike.  Regardless of upbringing, cultural background, religion, political affiliation, race and sexual preference, we are human beings.  We have bodies that function the same; and minds and souls.  We make decisions for our lives based on what we think, how we feel and what “moves” us internally.  We have unique gifts and talents, that when we come together, are used to help and entertain one another.  We share a fundamental foundation of truth that is innate in humanity.  It wasn’t learned, but has existed inside of us from the moment we were birthed.  It says this:  Love is right.  Hate is wrong.  Love is healthy.  Hate is harmful.  Love is good.  Hate is bad. 

I do not believe anyone on the planet will argue with that fundamental statement.  We, as people, long to be loved and are, in essence, created as an extension of love.  Love is internal and inbred in us; but we must be taught to hate.  Hate is an external entity that one makes a personal choice to grasp and invite inside.

 

The Bible says that “God is love.”  Thus, He is the absence of hate.  The Bible also says we are not to judge one another.  In the words of Mother Theresa, “If you are judging someone you are too busy to love them.”    Judgment and love cannot go hand in hand for human beings.  When we judge it is a hate-driven attitude that then becomes a hate-driven action.  For a person to cast judgment, even in the name of God, it is still an action of hate and not one of love.  Only God has the right to cast judgment and only God has the ability to be able to judge and love simultaneously. 

 

Part of our human nature is that we want to believe we are right, that we have the answers, that we’re the best, the chosen, that we are as-close-to-perfect-as-a-human-can-be.  But, this is just a lie that we tell ourselves.  We cannot be perfect and we’re not supposed to be.  We weren’t created with an expectation of perfection.  We were created out of love for the purpose of love…loving God and loving one another.

That’s what life is all about.

Sometimes we think that we’re supposed to have the answers…but maybe we’re supposed to have the questions.  Seeking the answers is what causes growth.  The lesson doesn’t lie in the destination, but in the journey. 

See, love has no ego.  Love is not self-serving.  Love doesn’t go into ministry for the popularity of being known in Christian circles.  Love doesn’t talk other Christians or other religions down and love doesn’t puff itself up.  Love doesn't use fear-tactics and threats.  Love doesn’t destroy families and friendships, but cherishes that which God has given for this lifetime.  Love isn’t satisfied with fake, shallow, hollow relationships. Love doesn't care about image.  In a world where hate prevails in our churches and is spewed forth from our pulpits,  love is our only savior and our Savior (Jesus) is love. 

At the core level, there is no greater truth than love. "Faith. Hope. And Love. But the greatest of these is love."  Everything else will fade away...and all that will be left is love.  ~

... especially hate in His name.

 

Salivating Over Suspense

I am currently working on the next book in the Just Call Me Angel series; and though my writing time has been limited, I am happy with the storyline thus far.  It starts with a bang and there are already several plot twists that I hope will keep my readers enthralled.

 

This book has been extra-fun to write because it has given me an opportunity to research chemical weapons, carbon monoxide poisoning and several other medically related terms of which, previous to writing this novel, I was unaware.

I’ve also introduced a few new characters, who had humor and spice to the pages. 

Life has been hectic lately, but each time I have the opportunity to sit down and write, I feel thankful and fulfilled.  Filling the pages feels as if it empties me of all the pressures of life and leaves me open and ready to be filled back up with new ideas.  It’s sort of a cleansing renewal.

From wine cellars to morgues, my hope is that this book will keep my readers drinking in mystery and salivating over the suspense.   ~

Sexual Exploration Adds Comedy

After all of the mean letters I’ve received from people who are upset about my book, House of Lies, I was pleased to find this email in my Inbox this morning.

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Dear Susan, I enjoy your outlook on sex and marriage.  I was wondering if you had any advice on how to affair-proof a marriage?

Mariah

_____________________________________________________________

Well, Mariah, I wish I had a magic solution to “affair-proof” marriage, but unfortunately there isn’t one.  Affairs happen because people make mistakes.  The human heart, mind and psyche can be fallible, corruptible and, at times, weak.  We choose unwisely, not realizing all we have to lose or the people that may be hurt in the process.  There is no magic solution.  However, I believe there are ways to minimize the chances.

Unbeknownst to a lot of people, marriage isn’t just about love.  You can love someone and still end up making a stupid decision.  Marriage is about working to protect that love.

How?  When we lose the metaphors, what does that look like in real life?

I believe it’s all about staying connected.  Communication is the conduit that holds partners together.  It’s the pipeline.  If the pipe gets clogged, everything backs up; so you have to keep yourself open.  Communication comes in many forms and all of them are important. 

Key to marital success is to know and understand your partner.  You need to know them from the inside out.  Mentally, Emotionally, Spiritually and Physically….these are all key components to the whole.  Men and women are made differently, and I believe that was God’s design.  He made opposites attract so that we would complement one another with our differences.  I’m going to speak in generalities here for a moment, realizing that this doesn’t apply to all people, but to a majority.  Men are simpler creatures than women.  They tend to be less emotional and more logical.  They tend to breeze over the details and get to the summation.  They tend to let things roll off their back easier than a woman.  Their needs are fewer than ours.  That is not to say that their needs are less important than ours. Women are emotional creatures.  We are more intuitive and sensitive than men.  We get our feelings hurt easier and we hold a grudge longer. Our needs are extensive and ever-changing.

·          Men need to feel respected, enjoyed, loved, wanted and needed.  (See video)  

·          Women need to feel beautiful, wanted, loved, respected, needed and enjoyed.  (See video)

If you look at the raw, natural elements of the sexes, your partner’s basic needs become clear. 

For example:  Men need to feel respected for who they are and what they do.  Berating a man or minimizing his role in your life tears him down at a core level.  Similarly, women have an innate desire to feel beautiful.  Making a woman feel that she is ugly or unattractive, or making her believe that you are no longer attracted to her, tears her down at a core level.  Core-level damage clogs the communication conduit.  Over time, if the clog isn’t removed the marriage becomes endangered.   Temptation lies just around the corner.  If a man feels berated at home and then meets a woman who lavishes him with words of approval and respect….with whom will he desire to communicate?   Likewise, if a woman is made to feel unattractive and unappreciated at home and then meets a man who dotes on her with words of affirmation and wanting…with whom will she desire to communicate?

Your job in marriage is to know your partner’s needs and then meet those needs.  Your job is to hold one another up, to support, to nurture, to excite and to love so that as you grow, you are growing more openly together and not apart. 

If you know your partner’s needs and ignore them, do not be surprised if, over time, they end up in the arms of someone who meets those needs.  That is the harsh reality of the human heart’s design.

Your job is to keep the communication conduit open so that you can know one another better.  With knowledge comes the power to make a difference.  This takes the work and commitment of both partners.  One person cannot do it alone.  The two must come together as one in order for the marriage to flourish.

Success often lies in the little things.  My husband and I have been married for twenty years and there have been some rough patches along the way.  One of the many things I have learned is that marital success lies in the consistency of doing the little things.  Often it is the little things that are the most meaningful.  Tiny acts of love and appreciation carry far more weight than most people realize. 

For example:  my husband fills my coffee cup and brings it to me in the morning.  I’ve never asked him to do this.  He just does it out of love for me. He might think it’s no big deal, but to me, it warms my heart.  It shows me that he thought of me and it’s an effort of directing his attention on me for a brief moment at the start of the day.  It’s a tiny gesture but it’s wonderfully meaningful.  Another example is that whenever my husband and I sit together on the couch, which is rare with our busy schedules, we hold hands.  It’s simple, but it signifies a connection, a longing, and a certain comfort.  In addition, we always kiss goodnight…even if we are angry at one another…we ALWAYS kiss goodnight.  It’s an unspoken vow that says, “even though you piss me off, I love you and I’m not going anywhere.”

Now… there is one element of communication I have yet to discuss… Sex.  It’s important.  It’s essential.  Sexless marriages aren’t fulfilling for either partner.  Period.  I’ve spoken with a lot of couples through the years and never once has anyone said to me, “thank God we don’t have sex.” More likely the complaint is, “she doesn’t want sex,” or “he wants it too much,” or “he doesn’t find me attractive,” or “she’s always too tired.”  These are common marital challenges involving sex. 

Let me speak frankly:  Men, you need to understand that for a woman to desire sex, she needs to feel sexy and beautiful.  YOU have to find a way to make her feel that way about herself so that she will be more prone to respond positively to your sexual advances. Women, you need to understand that men always want sex.  They want it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. They want it, want it and want it and your husband wants it from YOU.

God created human beings with a sexual drive.  Most men have a greater sex drive than most women and that’s okay.  Thank God they do!  Because if they didn’t there would be more sexless marriages in the world and more miserable people.  Sex is a necessary component of a marriage.  And hear me out on this… it’s SUPPOSED to be fulfilling.  Sex is not supposed to be a chore, a have-to or a dreaded experience.  If it is then you’re doing it wrong.  It shouldn’t involve guilt or pressure.  It should be fun, erotic, playful and loving.  Sex between a married couple should be the best sex of all because you have the freedom to make it whatever you want it to be.  It’s a safe place for exploration.  Everybody’s body is unique.  What takes one person to the throes of ecstasy, another person will find annoying.  That’s why it is imperative that you get to know your partner’s body.  The safety of sexual exploration is one of the great benefits of marriage.  Instead of moaning about getting too little or your partner wanting too much, put your heads together and find a way to sexually satisfy one another. 

How?  Dress up. Role play. Buy some toys.  Watch a kinky movie.  Read Penthouse Letters. Go to a nude beach. Explore things of a sexual nature together and see what turns you and your partner on.  If you bump into something you find offensive, turn it off or walk away.  If you try something that hurts,  don’t try it again.  But, read your partner’s body language as you explore.  If there is something that heats them up, make a mental note to incorporate that activity into your sex life.  If she needs bubble baths and rose petals to get in the mood to make love, then do it.  If he needs you to put your hair in pigtails and don a pair of bobby socks, do it.  Do whatever you and your partner need to get it on…because sex should be one of the fun, let-off-steam, exciting elements of your marriage.  Marriage takes hard work and sex is one of the fun benefits you get to reap for putting in the work.

Married people have the ability to climax together every day... so why are you not taking advantage of the joys of physical bonding? Get on - Get in - and Get off together!  Get excited about it.! The sexual energy you share will propel your marriage into a better place.  Sexual exploration adds comedy, it gives the two of you secrets about which only you two can giggle, it adds a depth that other forms of communication lack.  It works in conjunction with verbal, mentalm, spiritual and emotional intimacy and heightens all of these. 

Your job as a spouse is to be there… to be emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and physically available.  When two become one they share everything.  That means thoughts, prayers, hardships, joys and orgasms.  That’s what marriage is all about.

Can you affair-proof it?  No.  But you can make yours so open, so uplifted, so entangled in each other that temptation can scarcely find a foot-hold in either of your hearts.  Work hard to meet one another’s needs, wholly and intentionally, and in doing so, you will minimize the urge for either of you to look elsewhere. 

The best things in life take hard work and marriage is no exception; but it’s worth it. ~

 

 

Can I Get an AMEN up In Here?!

I overheard a conversation the other day between two women.  One was having difficulty dealing with daily life.  If I could break down all she shared into the simplest form, I would say she was feeling overwhelmed.  There were no major issues of illness, adultery or murder.  No one robbed a bank, got arrested or assaulted anyone else.  She was simply expressing the exhausting trials associated with juggling parenting, marriage and a career.

There were moments during their conversation when she cried, and my heart wept with empathy for her.  We’ve all been there.  In fact, I live there.  No matter how blessed we are, there are still days when we wonder how we’re going to get through….how we’re going to get it all done…and we feel like we just can’t handle one more thing.  It's those "calgon, take me away" moments.

 

 

As they talked and I eavesdropped, I had to force myself to bite my tongue and resist the temptation to barge into their conversation.  The friend, instead of just listening, took it upon herself to seize the moment for preaching.  She reminded her teary-eyed friend that the Bible tells us to do all things without complaining or grumbling or getting angry or being bitter and upset.  The tears that had pooled in the woman’s eyes now ran down her cheeks as the friend continued.  “Jesus tells us to be holy and seek perfection and to practice self-control…”

This went on for quite some time with the friend quoting Scripture and it took all of my strength not to leap to my feet and yell, “Shut-up!  You hypocritical bimbo!”  That’s what I was yelling inside my head.  Now, I don’t really know if this woman is a hypocrite or a bimbo, but those were the words that popped into my mind.

See, I can’t stand people like her.  I don’t have any close girlfriends who respond this way, and that’s a purposeful decision on my part.  There’s an uppity class of Christians who believe in holding one another accountable before the Lord… and even though the idea of this is Biblical…the method with which they carry it out is not.  I don’t associate with this kind of Christian for this very reason.

I believe God is way more concerned with us uplifting one another than holding one another "accountable."  I believe our main job is to love one another and not to judge.  The woman who got on her preachy high-horse in an attempt to help hold her friend accountable to God’s principals of Christianity, made her feel judged instead of loved.

This, quite frankly, pisses me off, and makes me want to tell every upity, know-it-all Christian what they can go kiss...

 

 

Jesus said, “Faith. Hope and Love; but the greatest of these is Love.”  When a girlfriend is crying, love doesn’t tell her she shouldn’t be bitter or angry or grumble.  Love says, “Cry it out.  I’m here.  I understand.  Life sucks sometimes.”

When a girlfriend is overworked and overwhelmed and feeling that she just can’t do one more thing, love doesn’t tell her she should seek perfection and strive for self-control.  Love says, “Can I help you?  Let me take the kids for a while and give you guys a date night.  Let's go have a coffee and whine a little.” (or wine a little!) 

Love listens…it does not preach…and it never judges.

Christianity is defined as having a “personal relationship with Jesus Christ” because it is just that:  PERSONAL.  That means it’s between God and you…no one else.  No one else has the right to preach to you or at you or judge you, not even when they are judging you with fundamental, Biblical principles.  Those principles are there for you to hold yourself accountable and for God to hold you accountable.  He doesn’t use them to judge you so what gives anyone else the right?  God uses those principles to help you grow and learn and become all that He has made you to be.  He doesn’t use them against you to beat you up or tear you down.  Only elitist Christians riding around on high-horses do that…and shame on them!

Can I get a frickin’ Amen up in here?!

 

 

   

Mail of Malice

As I’m wading through mounds of emails I thought I would take a moment and share with my readers some of the expressions of malice I have received as a result of my novel, House ofLies.  I don’t have any proof that these were sent to me by International House of Prayer (IHOP) members, however, my gut tells me they were, as previous emails of this nature have been from IHOP members; so I’m going to proceed in that manner.

 

“You have chosen to befriend homosexuals instead of the Lord and have mocked His people in House of Lies.  You mock our prophetic understanding and may God make an example of you and strike you down with the lightning of justice.”

 

“You would be better off dead than to cross the Lord’s work.  Read Acts and be warned.”

 

“If I were you I would watch my back.”

 

“Mike Bickle is a chosen apostle of the Lord and you are a fool to stand against him. Gods favor rests upon the godly.”

 

Yes, I am friends with homosexuals, heterosexuals, bisexuals and metrosexuals.  I don’t befriend nor defriend people based on their sexuality.  I don’t judge.  It isn’t my job.  It isn’t my calling. It isn’t the way I want to live my life.  Furthermore, if you want to pull out your Bible I’m quite certain you’ll find several verses in the New Testament that specifically tell you NOT to judge.

 

As far as the accusation of mocking God’s people in House of Lies, I do not see how this is relevant.  I don’t mock your “prophetic understanding” because there is no understanding to mock.  The prophecies upon which your cult group (IHOP) is built have been proven false.  (* Look up the KC Prophets, The Blueprint Prophesy, The Ernie Gruen Report) Your leader has openly admitted to the fact that the majority of prophesies coming out of IHOP are not accurate and he preaches that inaccurate prophetic words are acceptable.  For me to say this practice of false prophesy is bogus is not me mocking you….it is simply me stating a fact.  It is my personal belief that any prophetic word that comes from the Lord will be 100% accurate.  If there is even the slightest inaccuracy than the so-called prophetic word is not from God.  It's either all right or all wrong.  God doesn't deal in half-truths.

In addition, and not to tread on your arrogance, House of Lies wasn’t written about YOU.  It’s a fictional cult group with a fictional leader.  (The only reason IHOP members believe the book is about them is because an IHOP member's [Bethany Deaton] murder was striking similar to the story.)

Second, I’m not crossing the Lord’s work, nor would I ever.  I know it and He knows it and that's all that matters. 

Third, I have read the book of Acts and my backside is being watched...but thank you for your concern.

As for Mike Bickle… he is a self-proclaimed apostle of the Lord.  I don’t stand against him on a personal level.  I stand against ANY cult leader who manipulates Scripture, spews bigotry, spreads lies in the name of God and deceives the youth in an attempt to build an end-times army that has destroyed families, taken lives and has the potential to become ever-more dangerous.  I stand against that, not against one man.

You can continue to email me with your words of warning, but it would better behoove you to  spend your time researching IHOP for yourself, instead of settling for being spoon-fed lies simply because the acceptance of it all "feels" good.  Drugs "feel" good too, but they destroy you from the inside out.

 

Instead of pointing a finger at me, it sounds like you have some very tough questions to ask yourself...

...and to ask God.  Good luck.  ~

May It Never Be Me

 I am still playing catch-up with regards to my 2012 email responses.  I have approximately 60-70 flagged emails awaiting my response and then I will begin tackling the 2013 ones.  Today I came across an email from a woman I do not personally know, but with whom I am Facebook “friends.”

This is what she wrote:

“Dear Susan, I think you should re-do your blog because it is not cohesive and since you are an author I would think you would want your blog to read more eloquently and flow smoothly.  Your topics appear random and jump subjects daily.  It is confusing for readers.”

The audacity of human beings never ceases to amaze me. 

I read numerous blogs every week and never once have I sent the writer an email voicing my opinion of the manner in which their blog is styled.  I haven’t and I wouldn’t. 

Now, I realize we live in the land of free speech, which entitles each individual the liberty to voice his or her opinion.  I do love our freedoms; however, unless someone specifically asks your opinion of their blog, page, website, partner, hair, weight or anything else in life, a good rule of thumb is to keep quiet. 

Despite the rude nature of the action itself, the email-er was correct; my blog does jump from topic to topic.  What I write about on Monday will most likely have nothing to do with what I post on Tuesday.  What can I say...welcome to my random world.

See, my life isn’t organized into topics or compartmentalized into neat little categories.  I’m usually flying by the seat of my pants, one idea running into the next, schedules constantly overlapping…. I don’t live an orderly lifestyle so my blog cannot reflect one.

I blog about things happening in the moment, things I’ve been studying, and things that interest me.  I blog about exercise, religion, sex, love, cults, friendship, humor, food, children, pets, romance, emotion, depression, books and God.  In essence, I blog about my world and the things that concern or affect me.  That’s why this is my blog and not yours.

Even if I wanted to I couldn’t organize it for you… for my thoughts are as random and ever-changing as the wind.  I don’t know what I’ll feel like writing from one moment to another, no more than I know what food I will crave from one meal to the next.  My world is that fickle and I like it that way. 

Life isn’t a controlled substance… it’s a wild, spontaneous ride.  There are ups and downs and twists and turns and anything goes….so why should I limit my written blog experiences to only a few topics?  Why would I want to take the excitement of living and dull it down by applying a set of limits?

I’d rather be random than boring.  Random feels open, limitless and free.   Boring is...well, may it never be me.     ~

A BIG Chore And A BIG Bore

I’m not an exercise freak.  I’m not one of those women who likes to go to the gym or who has a group of “gym friends” who chit-chat while on the treadmill and hardly break a sweat; which is good considering they’re wearing so much make-up they’d look like they were in a bar brawl if it started to run.  I don’t own cute “gym clothes” and my tennis shoes are hardly what you’d call “athletic” attire.  Truth be known… I hate working out.

Now I realize hate is a strong word and some people are uncomfortable with the term, so let me better explain my position.  I abhor exercise.  I loathe it.  Spurn it.  Utterly despise it.

If I had to have a defining motto, it would be something like:   I run only if being chased by someone with an axe.

I’m a Type A personality, which means I rarely sit down.  I’m always on the move, always frantically working on a project, or running here, there and everywhere, so, through the years, I’ve been able to stay active enough to compensate for my not-so-feminine appetite.  Yes, that’s right, I like to eat.  I’m not one of those women who nibbles like a mouse on teeny-tiny morsels and then bats her lashes and gleefully announces that she’s stuffed.  I don’t know why women do that.  I mean, no one ever believes any human could be full after eating only two bites of a sandwich.  I want to grab those women by their shoulders, give ‘em a shake and yell, “get real!”   I eat more like a man.  What’s more, I enjoy good food, and I believe food is one of the finer luxuries in life.

This whole eating and not exercising thing wasn’t so bad until…well… I hit my forties.  At forty everything changed.  Being “active” suddenly wasn’t enough and this whole thing about “smaller portions” did nothing but piss me off.  I don’t like smaller portions.  I like BIG portions of the things I love. BIG hugs, BIG kisses, BIG steaks, BIG money... you get the picture. 

So, I’ve had to find ways to cut back without feeling like I’m denying myself of the pleasures I crave; and I’ve had to learn to exercise... I’m still learning.

The changes I’m making are bearable.  I skip desserts and stay away from breads and noodles.  I still indulge in the things I love, like omelets, filet mignon, shrimp and BIG salads.  I substitute squash for spaghetti noodles; and I spice everything up with jalapenos.  If we are going to eat fast food, I opt for Subway or Chick-fil-A and remove the top piece of bread from any sandwich.  I still enjoy Mexican on Friday nights, dipping carrots in guacamole instead of chips and eating fajitas without the tortilla shells. 

What I don’t give up….  Friday night Margaritas, red wine and the occasional Vodka martini or High Ball. 

Now… if I could only find a way to love exercising I might actually hit my weight goal this year.   Even if I could just find a way to like it...  Oh, who am I kidding... I'd settle for just being able to tolerate it. 

I wish there was a magic pill that would dissolve fat and tone muscle.  Wouldn't that be wonderful?!  Or maybe a stick of gum that you had to chew for twenty minutes and it would tone all of the fat in your body?!  Why can scientists invent something useful like that?

Alas, until they do I will need to find a way to motivate myself to get into shape.  I wish exercising didn't feel like a BIG chore and wasn't such a BIG bore.  Sigh.  Wish me luck.  ~

 

 

A Delayed New Year

I’ve been under the weather the past several days, which has delayed my jump start on the New Year.  Those of you who know me, know I don’t do sick well.  I can’t stand lying around doing nothing… especially when there is SO MUCH to be done! 

My Christmas lights are still up, as is the tree and my list of resolutions sits idly by, awaiting the moment when I am able to begin checking them off.  UGH!

Alas, it has given me time to reflect on those items which I have resolved to improve upon or entirely change during the course of 2013. 

 

 

1.     Work out a minimum of 3 times per week.

2.     Prepare meals in advance so we are less tempted to eat out when our schedule is tipping the red zone of the chaotic-ometer.

3.     Eat healthier.

4.     Lose 25 pounds and several inches and tone the wiggly areas.

5.     Have more sex... with my husband, of course.

6.     Save more money… budget better.

7.     Write 3 novels. (The fifth in the Just Call Me Angel series; the sequel to House of Lies; and another independent mystery.

8.     Re-paint the bathroom.

9.     Schedule more book tours this year than last.

10.   Stress less and enjoy my family, my friends and life in general more.  After all, the very fact that we are living is a gift, and gifts are meant to be enjoyed.

These are just ten of the twenty-five items I’ve listed.  I am beginning the year hopeful that I will be able to tackle these head on and make some positive changes going forward.

May 2013 be a wonderful year of health, happiness, success and prosperity for all.  J