Exodus from Hate

I just read an article wherein Exodus International has announced that they are shutting down in an effort to stop hurting people. 

What a remarkable statement their founder, Alan Chambers, has made.  I believe he should be commended for his change of heart and his efforts in finally taking the right steps...steps away from accidentally spreading hate...steps toward a Biblical foundation of "love thy neighbor."

My favorite quote from the announcement is: "For quite some time we’ve been imprisoned in a worldview that’s neither honoring toward our fellow human beings, nor biblical."

You can read the full announcement HERE.  But, beyond that, I encourage you to read Chambers full apology stated on the Exodus website, wherein he shares his personal convictions, his experiences and what ultimately led him to this decision.  You can read that by clicking HERE.

Another favorite quote from Chambers is:  "My beliefs about these things (sex and marriage) will never again interfere with God’s command to love my neighbor as I love myself."   

Chambers has certainly gone against the grain and taken a risky stance for a man in his position, and I believe he should be commended.  Any Believer who is able to publically admit that, though their intentions were good, they ultimately went off track and ended up hurting people with God's Word instead of promoting healing, is, well, a fine, upstanding individual in my book.  It takes guts to come out and say you were wrong.  It takes strength to admit that you've gone off track and it takes courage to shut everything down so you can repair and re-focus.  Chambers is going to open another ministry and says he and his wife are dedicated to the focus of proclaiming God's grace and salvation for everyone.  He said, "Grace is the center of salvation, not sin; our focus should be on grace."

I tried to commend him in a somewhat public forum yesterday and was immediately shot down by fellow Christians, one in particular, who accused me of calling ALL Christians bigots.  As can be typical of the radical right, who ironically think they are always right but should probably be called the radical wrong, she only saw the issue of homosexuality and never even bothered to look at Chamber's heart. She jumped all over me, trying to put words in my mouth, trying to accuse me of words I hadn't said and wasn't even thinking...to the point that I finally told her to kiss my ass.  And then she played the victim (insert eye roll here).  Oh, so typical.

Christians.  It's people like this woman that make me ashamed to bear the title and people like Alan Chambers that make me proud to be a Believer. 

Alan Chambers, you ROCK!  May others follow your lead and learn to walk in love instead of hate, judgment and condemnation.  After all, we are ALL created equal and we ALL are saved by grace, God's acceptance and His love.  There is no room for discrimination and finger-pointing; and one thing we, Christians, seem to forget or overlook is the nasty little fact that casting judgment is just one more form of sin.  May we all look in the mirror as Chambers has done.  ~

ALL Violence Sucks

In an email sent to me several weeks ago, a woman asked why I was what she termed “pro-guns.”  It got me thinking…

I’m not “pro-gun”….I’m pro-freedom.  The difference is that I don’t think everyone should own a gun, but that those who want to own a gun should have the right to do so.  I believe in the Right to Bear Arms.

As I’ve stated in previous blogs, with what feels like ever-growing violence in our world, perhaps certain restrictions on gun ownership makes sense.  I don’t pretend to have any answers as to what restrictions would be appropriate, other than the fact that I don’t believe anyone outside of our military personnel needs to own an automatic assault weapon.  No one needs to have the ability to rapidly gun down innocent bystanders in theatres, schools or anywhere else.

Gun violence sucks…but the truth is ALL violence sucks.

Last week in England a British soldier was hacked to death with a machete in the middle of the street.  A couple weeks ago an Oregon high school student was arrested because he constructed his own bombs and had plans to blow up his school.  Last year a little girl named Jessica was kidnapped and murdered with a knife.  Every month, women and children are removed from their homes and placed in shelters because they are abused by their boyfriends, husbands, fathers, uncles, brothers, etc.  Years ago, a woman intentionally ran over her husband several times with her car.  Sadly, I could cite example after example…

The truth is violence begins in the heart.  A gun is as useless as a knife, a machete, a bomb, a car and a fist if there is no violence and hatred in the heart of the person holding it.  Guns are taking a bad rap right now, but they are merely a symptom of the real problem.  Hatred and insanity drive violent acts.

Hatred causes a person to plan to kill innocent people.  Insanity causes a person to slaughter children.  The weapon isn’t to blame, the people are to blame. 

If we remove every gun from the planet, do you believe murder will cease to exist?  Murder existed long before guns were ever invented.  Killing comes from the heart and a killer will use whatever weapon is at his or her disposal if he really wants to carry out a violent plan. 

In the olden days people were burned at the stake, stoned to death, hung and poisoned.  Should we outlaw matches, rope and rocks?

On the flip side, I state again, I don’t believe anyone outside of our military personnel should have access to automatic assault weapons.  Until we can identify and control “crazy” these weapons should not be mainstream.  Until we can rid our world of hate, everything and anything can be a weapon of violence.

I’m not “pro-gun”…I’m pro-freedom and pro-love…because only love can change the world and until it changes, no one is truly safe.  Why then should I sacrifice my right to bear arms to protect myself and my family when the violent, hate-filled hearts of the criminally insane are still rampant among us?  That’s a risk I cannot take. 

 

See, guns take lives but they also save lives.  ~

 

An Abyss of Indifference

Love comes in many shapes, sizes and colors but it never comes in the form of hate.

 

Hate comes in many shapes, sizes and colors as well, and it never stems from a heart filled with love. 

The opposite of hate is love, but the opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference. 

Love is the most powerful tool in the world.

Hate is the most destructive weapon.

They say there is a fine line between the two, but it isn't a line at all; it's an abyss of indifference and it will leave the soul completely void.  ~ 

Big Idiot Gone Off Track

I am a heterosexual, Caucasian woman, married to a heterosexual, Caucasian man.  We have friends of all shapes and sizes. Some are Caucasian, African American, Asian, Mexican and Indian, some are heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual, some Christian, some are Jewish, some are religious and some are not.  The point is our friendships are based on each individual person and not on color, race, religion, sexual preference or affiliation to any particular group.

That being said, I want to share what happened to me the other day.  I was speaking with a woman I had just met and she was asking me questions about where my children take lessons, on which teams they play, etc.  It was a typical mom-to-mom type of discussion.  At least, it started out that way…

When I mentioned one of the affiliations we have, her expression changed.  It was as if her emotions flat-lined and a disapproving glare filled her eyes.  She leaned in closer to me and whispered.  “Doesn’t it bother you to have your children exposed to a homosexual lifestyle?  Don’t you feel that’s setting a bad example for them?”

All I could do was step back in shock.  I was utterly amazed at the bigotry that faced me.  We were in public so making a big scene wasn’t an option.  I smiled politely and said, “No, these particular people are not only my friends, but they are a wonderful influence on me and my children.”  I excused myself and left; but it got me thinking…

I remember years ago when a very close friend of mine was told that she couldn’t work with a church youth group because of her sexual orientation.  I was livid then, and I’m still livid now.  This woman is one of the godliest people I know.  She’s unpretentious, she’s honest, she’s open and trustworthy.  I consider her to be one of my most reliable prayer warriors.  In fact, on 9/11 when for seven long minutes I didn’t know if my husband was on one of the United flights out of Boston, she was the first phone call I made.   I love her to death and the pastor who denied her the ability to work in the youth group made a terrible mistake.  There would have been no greater influence on those teenage lives than this woman.

Bigotry comes in many packages, but is most commonly wrapped up with a big, bright bow of religious righteousness.  What the bigot doesn’t understand is that there is nothing righteous in the condemnation or judgment of others. 

Jesus said to love others.  He didn’t say to love them only if they fit into your close-minded box of what you deem is right or good.  He simply said to love one another.  And here’s a statement that should get the right-wing religious panties in a wad:  Jesus didn’t say to try to change others.  He said only to love them.  Some religious people become arrogant about their ability to befriend a homosexual, as if the very fact that they are embracing what they consider to be a “sinner” makes them godlier.  In reality, their arrogance makes them less godly.

People…we are equal in God’s eyes.  Color, religion, race, sexual orientation…none of it matters.  We’re equal.  We all have our challenges and we all face our own demons.  Life is difficult enough without judging one another on top of it. 

What is a Bigot?  Big. Idiot. Gone. Off. Track.

I think we need to stop grouping people together and start looking at individual hearts.  ALL homosexuals aren’t bad influences any more than ALL heterosexuals are good influences.  Truth be told, I’d rather have my kids exposed to a loving relationship between two people of the same sex than a violent, hateful relationship between two people of the opposite sex.  Which one better teaches them the meaning of love and commitment?

Choose who will be in your life based on the connection you feel on the inside, not on the exterior pre-judgments of a religious society that has ironically condemned, degraded and abused more people throughout history than any other group.  

 

Love God.  Love others. It’s really that simple.  ~

 

 

 

Hate: The Root of Terrorism

There are many faces of terrorism.  Terrorism by definition is the act of inflicting terror.  It is not limited to a particular race, religion, political affiliation or nationality.  It comes in all shapes, sizes and colors.  It cannot be stopped because it cannot be seen until after it has unleashed its wrath.

 

 

In the wake of what happened Monday in Boston, it is difficult for me to listen to the peaceful activists who rise up to defend the international terrorists by saying, “How do you think they feel when our troops come to their countries, destroy their homes and murder their loved ones?” 

First, we don’t know if what occurred in Boston was the work of an international terrorist or a domestic one.  All we know is that it was indeed an act of terrorism.  Regardless, a terrorist’s actions should never be defended.

Second, and some have called me naïve, I don’t believe our American troops go into other countries and intentionally blow up innocent people.  I know there have been situations where innocent lives have been lost, but I do not believe the act was with intent and malice.  I know many US soldiers from several military branches and none of them have ever spoken of killing innocent women and children merely for the sake of killing.  None of them have pretended to blend with the culture, waited for a crowded event like the Boston marathon and then planted explosive devices so that they could kill unarmed, non-violent citizens.  We can debate whether or not our troops belong in other countries…but I will not believe we go there with terrorism in our hearts.

This marks that pacifist argument void in my book.

 

I’ve taken some flak for my harsh anti-terrorism view, but it doesn’t change my stance.  I understand it sounds harsh, but I believe all terrorists should be killed.  Let me put it in softer terms, though the outcome is the same…I believe that what comes around should go around; what is sown should be reaped.  Or, I can put it this way:  Karma.  Whatever you want to call it, I believe it’s time to take a stand against all terrorism and against all hate, regardless of what face it bears.

There are more good people in the world than bad.  There is more kindness than hatefulness, but what happens is that every act of terrorism causes a dual reaction among people.  It can either paralyze people into a fearful existence or it can empower people into a positive position of helpfulness.  Let it do the latter.

Goodness, helpfulness, love, peace and truth will prevail in the end, but let me say this:  They will not prevail by taking a pacifist stance and excusing terrorist behavior.  They prevail by ridding our nation and our world of terrorism.  They prevail by stopping the hate, not explaining it away, justifying it or ignoring it. 

Take a stand against hate in all of its many forms, and love will conquer.  ~

 

Me...In A Nutshell

“Where does a person go to fit in when those of her own faith judge her to be too pagan and worldly?”

I saw this quote on a Facebook status the other day and it stuck with me.  Maybe it’s because it is the story of my life and the constant pondering of my soul.  You see, the greatest judgments in my life have come from those that share my faith, but do not share my religion because, as it would seem, I have none.

There is a vast difference between religion and relationship and I truly believe that God doesn’t care what religion you practice as long as you have a relationship with Him.  I believe He wants you to know Him and love Him as much as He loves you.  Does it matter if you worship the Almighty on a mountaintop or in a pew?  No.  It only matters that you worship Him.

Hate and violence stir our nation, and they stem from one source…judgment.  Mother Teresa said, “If you’re judging someone you are too busy to love them.”  There are countless verses in the Bible that speak against judging others.  The reason for this emphasis is that judgment stems from a spirit of hatefulness masked in an evangelical motive of purity labeled “God’s Agenda.”

But it is wrong.

 

The world may end in judgment, but the agenda of the Most High is one of love first, followed by mercy and compassion. Put your hate signs down.  Stop your condemnation of others.  If you need to point a finger go look in the mirror. Fight against the enemy, not against one another.  Who IS the enemy?  Hate is the enemy and it shows itself in the form of judgment derived from pseudo-godly arrogance and elitism.

Let me pose an odd question:  How many atheists are judging others for their beliefs or lifestyle choices? 

Now, I’m not saying I think people should become atheists.  I’m merely pointing out that somewhere along the line it seems that the "religious" people have picked up the torch of hate and have begun terrorizing the villagers and burning the towns…all in the name of God, which is ironic since God is love, not hate. 

Love is the most powerful influence in the world, and its counterpart, Hate, is the most destructive weapon known to mankind.  It starts in the heart and is fed by arrogance until it finally manifests itself in an act of violence against others.  "I'm right and you're wrong," is the foundation of judgment.  "I hold the truth and you are deceived," is the foundation of judgment.  Judgment, fed by arrogance and elitsim results in hateful actions, some of which can manifest violently.

I may not have a “religion” that those who share my faith can understand; but I have a relationship with God.  You won’t see me in church every Sunday, because quite frankly, I don’t always feel close to God while I’m in church.  You won’t find me handing out tracks, putting ‘Life’ tape over my lips or holding a sign that says ‘God hates homosexuality.’  I refuse to cast judgment on anyone else.  I'm not "right" and I don't hold a "truth" that isn't available to anyone else.  Thus, it isn’t my place to spew forth judment and frankly, I don’t want to carry the hatefulness that accompanies judgment in my heart. 

Hate destroys.  Whether you use a gun, a bomb, a knife, a rope, a sign or your words…hate brings about destruction; internal and external.  And if you are invoking judgment and destruction in the name of God or under the guise of His agenda, shame on you.  Shame, shame, shame on you.

I once had a fellow Christian scoff at me and say, “Well, how many people have you led to Christ?”  I didn’t answer, for it was none of her business.  That answer is between me and God.  I should have asked her, “How many people have you chased away from Christ with your judgmental arrogance and hateful elitism?”  That is the real question.

People of my faith don’t always like me…and I’m learning that that’s okay.  God likes me and He loves me and my faith is established in HIM alone and not the man-made, religious rules that cause damage to others.  Jesus said to love others, not judge them.  "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Would you stand in your own yard with 'Life' tape on your mouth?  Would you stand in your own yard holding a "God hates ME" sign?  Would you treat yourself the way you are treating the rest of the world who doesn't agree with you?

I might be nuts, but in the words of Gladys from the Ellen Show, “I love Jesus, but I drink a little.”  J  That’s me in a nutshell.  ~

Passive Aggressive Power

Sometimes biting one's tongue is an act of love and other times it's an act of passive aggression. 

I don’t deal well in the passive aggressive world.  Some would describe me as aggressive-aggressive, meaning I don’t use passive power-plays to try and manipulate other people.  If I want something or if I disagree with something, I’ll tell you straight out.  Maybe I’m just psychologically lazy in that I don’t have the time or energy to think through how to silently manipulate my environment.   Maybe passive aggressive people are gifted in a way… if so, it’s a gift I lack and I’m not going to try to develop the skill.  I roll more like the mafia characters in my books...straight forward...up front...in your face...badda big, badda boom.

For the most part, I find passive aggressive behavior hurtful.  I’ve never witnessed someone acting in a passive- aggressive manner for the betterment and well-being of others.  It has always been a selfish, power-play; one that has ultimately led to deeper wounds.

Some might say that being aggressive-aggressive is hurtful because it can result in arguments; but I disagree.  I would much rather have someone talk to me about their concerns or even holler their objections than try to quietly manipulate me.  I think to address something head-on shows a certain level of respect for the other person; to value them enough to treat them as if they are indeed worth your time and discussion. 

 

Using marriage as an example:  Married people argue…it is normal and researchers will tell you a certain degree of arguing can even be healthy for the relationship.  It shows that partners are able to hold on to their individuality and use their differences to enhance the marriage.  It is the partners who do not communicate that are in danger of permanently damaging the relationship.  Disagreeing isn’t a bad thing; stifling it until it harbors negative feelings between you and the other person, is.

Aggressive-aggressive people might scream, yell, curse and throw something across the room; but those are merely hurt-driven actions, not hate-driven motives.  There’s a big difference.  I’m not saying those things are good or right…merely that they are human responses and not premeditated actions of hatefulness.  When a person treats you with deliberate silence, it is a premeditated action designed as a power-play to cause hurt and the feeling of inferiority. 

Passive aggressive silence sends a clear signal that you are not worth the other person’s effort to speak.

 

Passive aggressive people use silence as a means to maintain a position of power over others.  It is indicative of the fact that they do not respect others enough to have a discussion, that they are unwilling to compromise and that they do not care one iota about anyone’s needs or how their silence affects others around them.  It is a selfish act of passivity, wherein they can proclaim to have fallen victim to someone else’s aggressive nature, when in reality they are the ones victimizing others with their power-play of silence.

Not everyone who takes extra time to process their thoughts or emotions is being passive-aggressive.   Sometimes a little time and space can be helpful in calming an otherwise heated situation.  There’s a big difference between healing silence and a passive-aggressive power struggle… and that difference is often so thick it becomes palatable. 

Silence can be golden, but it can also be a dagger.  The difference lies in the heart of the silent one.  ~

Love is our savior; our Savior is Love

As I age, I have come to realize that I have fewer answers and more questions.  I am less rigid on the boundaries of right and wrong, in the context of people’s personal decisions and lifestyle choices.  Things appear more gray than black and white.  Now, before I get a barrage of emails telling me that the Bible is very much black and white and we, as Christians, are not to live in the gray… hear me out. 

We are all very much alike.  Regardless of upbringing, cultural background, religion, political affiliation, race and sexual preference, we are human beings.  We have bodies that function the same; and minds and souls.  We make decisions for our lives based on what we think, how we feel and what “moves” us internally.  We have unique gifts and talents, that when we come together, are used to help and entertain one another.  We share a fundamental foundation of truth that is innate in humanity.  It wasn’t learned, but has existed inside of us from the moment we were birthed.  It says this:  Love is right.  Hate is wrong.  Love is healthy.  Hate is harmful.  Love is good.  Hate is bad. 

I do not believe anyone on the planet will argue with that fundamental statement.  We, as people, long to be loved and are, in essence, created as an extension of love.  Love is internal and inbred in us; but we must be taught to hate.  Hate is an external entity that one makes a personal choice to grasp and invite inside.

 

The Bible says that “God is love.”  Thus, He is the absence of hate.  The Bible also says we are not to judge one another.  In the words of Mother Theresa, “If you are judging someone you are too busy to love them.”    Judgment and love cannot go hand in hand for human beings.  When we judge it is a hate-driven attitude that then becomes a hate-driven action.  For a person to cast judgment, even in the name of God, it is still an action of hate and not one of love.  Only God has the right to cast judgment and only God has the ability to be able to judge and love simultaneously. 

 

Part of our human nature is that we want to believe we are right, that we have the answers, that we’re the best, the chosen, that we are as-close-to-perfect-as-a-human-can-be.  But, this is just a lie that we tell ourselves.  We cannot be perfect and we’re not supposed to be.  We weren’t created with an expectation of perfection.  We were created out of love for the purpose of love…loving God and loving one another.

That’s what life is all about.

Sometimes we think that we’re supposed to have the answers…but maybe we’re supposed to have the questions.  Seeking the answers is what causes growth.  The lesson doesn’t lie in the destination, but in the journey. 

See, love has no ego.  Love is not self-serving.  Love doesn’t go into ministry for the popularity of being known in Christian circles.  Love doesn’t talk other Christians or other religions down and love doesn’t puff itself up.  Love doesn't use fear-tactics and threats.  Love doesn’t destroy families and friendships, but cherishes that which God has given for this lifetime.  Love isn’t satisfied with fake, shallow, hollow relationships. Love doesn't care about image.  In a world where hate prevails in our churches and is spewed forth from our pulpits,  love is our only savior and our Savior (Jesus) is love. 

At the core level, there is no greater truth than love. "Faith. Hope. And Love. But the greatest of these is love."  Everything else will fade away...and all that will be left is love.  ~

... especially hate in His name.

 

Missing the Point

I posted this photo to Facebook last night and then stepped away from my computer to get the kids ready for bed.  As one friend put it,   “That was like dropping a water balloon off of a building and then not waiting around to see who got soaked.”  He was right.  By the time I sat back down in front of my computer, a heated debate had erupted all over my wall. 

What instantly struck me was the fact that most of the people completely missed the point of the picture.  The point was NOT to condone, condemn nor debate homosexuality; the point was that bigotry is an act of hatefulness, one clearly depicted in the images of the adults and children holding signs.  The point is bigotry in any form is wrong.

Many people quoted Scripture which was focused on homosexuality; again, not the point of the picture.  The picture is making a comparison between acts of love and acts of hate.  No matter how you personally feel about homosexuality, you don’t have the right to judge other people.  Bigotry comes in many forms.  It can be against color, race, religion, sexual preference, etc.  Bigotry in all forms is simply a cowardly act of spreading hatred.   It is not an action of love.

 

No one holds a sign up that reads:  “God hates you,” as an act of love.  No one holds a sign up that reads:  “God hates Fags,” as an act of love.  Jesus didn’t and wouldn’t act this way; nor should His followers.

Ironically, a passage of Scripture that was not quoted in the debate was Mark 12:28-33.  It reads like this:

²⁸ One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

²⁹ “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. ³⁰ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ ³¹ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

³² “Well said, teacher,” the man replied. “You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. ³³ To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”

Last I checked, loving your neighbor didn’t mean shoving a sign in their face that says God hates them or that they are going to hell.  

Again, the above picture was not about whether you think homosexuality is right or wrong; it is about bigotry being wrong.

“Faith, hope and love…but the greatest of these is love.”  I Corinthians 13:13