Black Flat Shoes

Have you ever had a dream that, even after you awaken, still haunts you? 

Last night I had such a dream and I'm still trying to shake it from my thoughts.  I woke up several times during the course of the night, but every time I went back to sleep I re-entered the same dream; and strangely enough, I re-entered almost exactly where I had left off. Even more odd is the fact that certain elements of my dream came from dreams I had had previously, but were now interwoven into this new climaxing plot.

Ever since I was a little girl I have always been a vivid dreamer.  My dreams, whether good or bad, are at the very least colorful and exciting.  I even have a couple re-occuring dreams that have lasted my lifetime, visiting me once every couple of years.  It is not odd for me to jolt up in the middle of the night sweating and screaming, or even laugh so loud in my sleep that it awakens my husband next to me.  The poor guy never knows what to expect when we go to bed.  (and I don't mean that in a nudge-nudge-wink-wink sort of way) 

Here are just a few crazy elements from last night's dream:

1.  I was being given a tour of a theatre and the man asked me what the sides of the stage were called.  I said, "wings."  He smiled and said, "Because you answered, now you can fly."   With that we magically flew to the next level in the theatre.

2.  Still on the theatre tour, we came to another stage and he asked me to show him my blocking.  I told him I didn't have any blocking and he became angry.  "Look at your feet," he yelled at me and when I looked down, I was wearing black flat shoes; which was odd because I had arrived on the tour in heels and had never taken off my shoes.  "Where are MY shoes?"  I asked him.  We then magically appeared in front of a large, aluminum walk-in cooler.  He opened the door and my shoes were sitting on the floor of the cooler.  I picked them up and they were ice cold.

I know what you're thinking at this point because I thought it too:  Cold Feet.  It must be symbolic for the fact that I have cold feet about something going on in my life.  But there's more...

3.  The black flat shoes disappeared from my feet and he told me to put my shoes back on.  I tried and I tried and I tried but they wouldn't fit.  "The cold must have made them shrink," I said.  Then he took my chin in his hand and said, "no, the shoes have not changed; you have."

I could bore you all day with strange twists and turns from this dream.  There were demons and people with axes and elevators that opened into dimensions instead of rooms. At one point my beating heart was taken from my chest and I was holding it in my hands.  The tour guide was dressed as a surgeon and asked me, "Who do you trust more with your heart?  Me or you?"  Since he was a surgeon I carefully handed it to him.

The last thing I remember I was fighting someone on a roof top while the tour guide watched.  I yelled to him for help, but he said, "I cannot help you fight against yourself." 

I stopped fighting and looked back at him and asked, "Why am I fighting against myself?"

He said, "part of you wants your shoes back."

How silly, I thought, to be waging war over a pair of shoes.  "How do I stop the fight?" I asked.

"Give her the shoes," he said.  I threw my heels at this other me and she put them on and instantly disappeared.

The battle was over and  I was exhausted.  He put his arm on my shoulder and said, "Are you ready to stop fighting now?"  I nodded and the black flat shoes appeared on my feet and we magically appeared back at the first stage where we had started. 

"What do I do now?"  I asked him.

He smiled at me.  "You fly."

"How?"  I yelled to him as he walked up the aisle of the theatre and out the door.

He was gone and I stood alone on the stage with my black flat shoes.