Say NO to Bad-Ass B.O.

Walking through the grocery store this morning, I was suddenly overcome by an odor that was so strong it was palatable.  This stinky stench filled the store in a matter of moments.  The best way I can describe it is to say it smelled like a layer of body odor, covered with curry, layered in dry urine, swirled with something musky and sweet and then topped with more body odor.  It was the most bad-ass B.O. I’ve ever smelled!

People in the store grimaced and I, wearing a cotton wide-necked sweater, buried my nose in the neck of my shirt.  My eyes watered from the potency of the stench and, though I haven’t checked, I am certain my nose hairs were burned clean off. 

My first inclination was to think a homeless person may have wandered into the store for warmth or to use the restroom; and compassion tugged at me.  But then, I caught a glimpse of the odorous wonder and compassion left me.

It was a young woman, maybe in her early twenties.  I let my eyes run the course of her body from her feet to her head.  She was dressed in clothing that looked clean and pressed.  Her hands were manicured and her nails painted.  There was no dirt on her skin and she wore shiny lip gloss and gold earrings.  There was nothing that indicated that she might be homeless.  In fact, she appeared well groomed, as if she had showered this morning; though the stench spoke otherwise.  My eyes stopped on her hair, which hung in thick dreadlocks; thick, dried, clumpy dreadlocks. These weren't the nice looking, fashionable kind of dreadlocks.  These were muddy and mangy looking.   I shivered internally, imagining the amount of bacteria in each pasty lock and wondering when was the last time her whole head had been given a good, solid scrubbing.

 

As I passed by her, the odor triggered my gag reflex.  How could someone with such a pretty, clean face smell so horrible?  Upon returning from the store I could still smell it.  I was having a Seinfeld moment…the B.O. was like an entity that had latched onto me.  I threw my clothes into the washer and jumped into a hot shower. 

I’m now free of the stench but still curious as to how someone can smell that bad and not know it?  An even bigger question is why aren't her friends telling her that she stinks?!    Maybe we need a sign that says, "Just Say NO to Bad-Ass B.O."  So, when someone smells that bad you don't have to say anything, you just hand them the sign.  ~

 

Charming Charmaine

Since it is Valentine’s week, I am giving a shout out to some of my favorite fellow VHP authors whom I feel privileged to have met and grown to love.  They don’t know I’m doing this…it’s my secret surprise Valentine to each of them.  We met Smoky yesterday and today I want to introduce an incredible lady, author and friend, Charmaine Gordon.

Here are some of Charmaine’s books:  

To Be Continued

Starting Over

Now What?

Reconstructing Charlie  

Sin of Omission

The Catch  (Release date TBD)

I thoroughly enjoy Charmaine’s novels and one of my favorites is Reconstructing Charlie.  If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. 

Charmaine has years of experience as an actor on daytime drama. Stage, spokesperson and commercials plus writing sketches for Air Force shows helped prepare her for the wonders of a writing career. Of course, she didn’t realize it at the time when immersed in the written words of others, that she was like a sponge, soaking up how to construct a scene, write dialogue, and paint the setting.

Charmaine says, “My writing effort came later when I wrote a two page story, sent it to son, Paul who commented, ‘Cool. Can you write ten pages?’ Seemed impossible but the story poured from my fingers and seventy thousand words later, I typed The End.”

She kissed her acting career goodbye, leaving on a high note with the lead in an Off Broadway play, “The Fourth Commandment” by author Rich Knipe.  “It was great fun and time to move on,” says Charmaine. Charmaine had a full schedule working on movies like “Working Girl”, “Road to Wellsville” and having the pleasure of Anthony Hopkins’ company at lunch.  She worked with Mike Nichols in “Regarding Henry” and sang outside with Harrison Ford, cried with Gene Wilder over loss on another set, and sang ‘It Had to be You’ with the whole cast of  “When Harry Met Sally”.  Charmaine says she has lots of fond memories, and adds, “Especially my first job as a stand-in leg model for Geraldine Ferraro in a Diet Pepsi commercial with Secret Service men guarding her and her daughters.  It was a sweet time.”

Charmaine’s experience shines through in her writing and gives each of her characters relatable depth.  For more information on Charmaine and her books, visit:  http://www.vanillaheartbooksandauthors.com/Charmaine_Gordon.html

Happy Valentine's Day, Charmaine.  :)

 

 

 

The Electrifying Earth Mage, Smoky Trudeau Zeidel

Today I have the great honor of interviewing fellow author and friend, Smoky Trudeau Zeidel.  Smoky is the author of three novels: The Storyteller’s Bracelet, The Cabin, and On the Choptank Shores; a collection of short stories, and two nonfiction works: Smoky’s Writer’s Workshop Combo Set and Observations of an Earth Mage, a photo/essay collection about her relationship with natural, all from Vanilla Heart Publishing. 

Her short story, “Breakfast at the Laundromat,” was nominated for a 2013 Pushcart Prize. She has published short stories and poetry in literary journals such as CALYX and online e-zines such as The Foundling Review.

A native of Illinois, Smoky succumbed to her bohemian spirit and need to live near the mountains and the ocean and moved to Southern California in 2008, where she lives with her husband Scott and an assortment of animals, both domestic and wild, in a ramshackle cottage in the woods overlooking the San Gabriel Valley and Mountains beyond. An ardent outdoorswoman with a deep reverence for nature, when she isn’t writing, she spends her time hiking with Scott and their little dog Tufa in the mountains or desert, camping in the Sierras, splashing in tide pools, and fighting the urge to speak in haiku.

 

 

 



When you were a little girl, what did you want to “be” when you grew up?

That depended on what day of the week it was, or what I was reading at the time, or what I was studying in school! I wanted to be a mommy, a nurse, a writer, an astronaut (although I was told little girls didn’t want to be astronauts—this was right after John Glenn went into space), a teacher, and a national park ranger. I wanted to be Peggy Fleming and glide across the ice wearing a silk handkerchief dress; I wanted to be Barbara Streisand and sing like an angel. I wanted to be Shirley Temple and tap dance across the silver screen, and I wanted to be a mad scientist and blow up things in my lab. I wanted to be a Cherokee Indian, or maybe a Navajo. I wanted to be a zookeeper, a veterinarian, a marine biologist, and the first woman to reach the North Pole. I guess that’s why I became a writer. I can do all these things in my imagination, and turn them into stories.

At what point in your life did you realize you wanted to become a published author?

I guess it was about fourth grade, however old that would make me. I read Harriet the Spy, and started carrying a little notebook around with me, taking notes about what my siblings and neighbors were doing. My mom put a stop to my spy activities pretty quickly, but I soon picked up my first real diary—one with a lock and key—and have been writing ever since. I guess having someone publish a novel I’d written was a fantasy of mine from those early spy days, but that desire grew stronger once I started writing professionally as a feature writer for my hometown newspaper. I enjoyed writing features, but what I really wanted to write was a novel. So I did, and the rest is history. 

You’ve been described as “eccentric” or “quirky”…. Give us a definition or a tiny example of your quirkiness.

Hmmm, I’m quirky in so many ways. I dress like it’s still the 1970s, long peasant skirts and blouses. I went skinny dipping in an icy High Sierra creek a few weeks ago, not caring if hikers strolled by (they didn’t). I name our garden plants and trees, as well as the lizards that live under our deck and in our poppy patch. I once named a tomato hornworm Spike. I talk to the trees—my grandmother oak tree in particular—as well as to the snakes and birds and deer I encounter when I walk around my hill or hike in the mountains. And they talk back to me; I can understand the language of the trees and the rocks, and some of the animals. I’d rather camp in our tiny tent than stay at a 5-star hotel. My stepson Christopher calls me a hippie, and I think that describes me pretty well. 

You are called the Earth Mage … how did you acquire this title?

From my blog, actually. I often write about nature and about earth spirituality, and I drew a huge blog following from these posts. Managing editor Kimberlee Williams at Vanilla Heart Publishing, who publishes all my books, suggested I do a book based on these blog posts. Observations of an Earth Mage was the result. A friend of mine called me a Earth sage one time, and I really liked that. Only I decided to change it to Earth Mage—meaning one who knows earth magic. Not magic as in “abbra cadabbra” sort of stuff. Rather, I’m someone who can see the magic in nature. I mean, I look up at the ancient grandmother oak tree that towers above my house, and I look at the tiny acorns she drops this time of year, and I think, “Wow … this fabulous tree came from a tiny acorn just like this.” If that isn’t magic, I don’t know what is.

You have experienced a remarkable, life-altering event… beyond the “normal” life-changing events that we all have.  You were actually struck by lightning and survived.  I am sure my blog readers haven’t heard your story, so please share your story with us.

I wish I could in an interview, but the story is long and complex. I can’t do it justice in just a few sentences. In a nutshell: On July 11, 1989, a bolt of lightning struck me in the neck as I was walking from my suburban Chicago home to my car. I was clinically dead; if not for the fast thinking of a witness, I wouldn’t be here today. I’ve had more than 20 surgeries since that time to correct damage received from the lightning, and I have peripheral neuropathy in my arm, a heart condition, and other health issues that continue to plague me 22 years later. But I try to make the best of my life, going on despite living in constant chronic pain. I figure I’m going to hurt if I moan and groan and lie in bed all day, and I’m going to hurt if I put a smile on my face and try to live a normal life. If I’m going to hurt either way, I choose option B.

People can read the entire harrowing tale by downloading my short bio “In a Flash” from Amazon for Kindle, Barnes & Noble for Nook, or Smashwords for any other eBook format. It’s just 99 cents, and it really is a compelling story.

I can’t imagine the many ways in which that experience changed you and shaped you, but can you tell us a few things that come to mind? 

Well, the most obvious thing is that I was studying to be a therapist, but since I was so badly injured I was unable to complete graduate school, I took up writing professionally. I had an understanding editor at the newspaper who knew he could get kick-ass stories from me when I felt well enough, so he’d let me take a pass on assignments when I was feeling sick or in the hospital.

The lightning also has made me more in tune with the natural world and the spirit world. I think it opened my eyes to see the possible where before I’d seen the impossible. For example, my dad came to visit me a few days before he died to say goodbye to me. He didn’t literally, physically visit me—I’m in Los Angeles and he was in an assisted care facility in Indianapolis. On top of that, he had dementia from multiple strokes. But he came and spent a day at my side, and I knew he was saying goodbye to me. I was very grateful I got that opportunity.

How many books have you written?  How many are currently published?  What can readers expect to see from you in the near future?

I’ve written three novels: The Storyteller’s Bracelet, The Cabin, and On the Choptank Shores (formerly titled Redeeming Grace). I’ve also written a short story collection, creatively titled Short Story Collection Vol. 1. I’ve written three nonfiction books: Observations of an Earth Mage, which I’ve briefly spoken about already, and two books about writing. Those books were combined last year into my Smoky’s Writer’s Workshop Combo Set. So I guess that’s a total of eight books, if you count each of the two writing books separately and as the combo.

As for the near future, I’m currently about a third of the way into my fourth novel, The Madam of Bodie. A real, honest-to-g*ddess Western, set in the California gold mining town of Bodie, which at the time of the Gold Rush was considered “the baddest town in the West.” And it was! I’m also collaborating with my husband on a photo/essay/poetry/story collection called Trails. Another short story collection is in the works—this one, variations on one theme—and finally, a sequel to The Storyteller’s Bracelet, called The Storyteller’s Daughter. 

What are some of your favorite books/authors?

 There are so many, it’s hard to know where to begin! I love the Portuguese author Jose Saramago, particularly his Death With Interruptions. I love anything by Willa Cather or Eudora Welty. I like to read books about nature; some of my favorites have been Walking With Bears by Terry DeBruyn (how could he not be a bear biologist with a name like DeBruyn?) and Silent Thunder by Katy Payne, which is about African elephants. My husband and I enjoy reading poetry, particularly anything by Billy Collins or Mary Oliver. 

To whom would you say that your writing style is similar?

I think I’ll leave that for my fans and my critics and reviewers to decide. I write like me, in my own voice. 

What are the top three things on your bucket list? 

1.   Learn to speak Spanish! I live in Los Angeles, for pete’s sake. Everyone here speaks Spanish. 

2.   Visit Machu Picchu in Peru, preferably hiking there along the Aztec Trail from Cuzco

3.   Visit Italy with my husband, and attend mass at St. Peter’s Cathedral in Rome (and I’m not Christian, let alone Catholic!).

If you were told you could only have one more meal and then you’d never taste food again, what would that meal be?

My husband is a gourmet chef; we’re real foodies, so this would be somewhat of a disaster! But I’d have to say Scott’s eggplant parmesan, tomato salad with arugula pesto, fresh peaches from our peach tree, and his egg custard pie for desert. Then, I’d want seconds. 

Congratulations on your Pushcart Prize nomination!  Tell us a little about the book that has been nominated. 

 It’s a short story called “Breakfast at the Laundromat.” It’s the somewhat autobiographical story of a lost soul and a free spirit who find each other in, of all places, their neighborhood laundromat. I’m crazy about this story; I had so much fun writing it. I’m glad Vanilla Heart Publishing thought it worthy of a nomination—the Pushcarts are a big deal, and just being nominated is an honor.

Where can readers find you on the internet and where can they purchase your books? 

I’m all over the Internet these days; if people can’t find me, they aren’t looking very hard! But seriously, here are the links to my pages and places my books can be found:

Website and Blogs:  www.SmokyZeidel.wordpress.com

Facebook Fan Page:                 www.Facebook.com.Smoky.Zeidel.Writes

Twitter                                     @SmokyZeidel

Pinterest                                  Smoky Zeidel

Barnes and Noble:                   http://bit.ly/RXJ0XO

Amazon Author Page:              http://amzn.to/mUvjpC

Goodreads Author Page:          http://bit.ly/pGXAXq

Smashwords Author Page:       http://bit.ly/qan6Nx

All Romance Author Page:       http://bit.ly/p6pR9O

I’d sure like it if readers would stop by and subscribe to my blog, follow me on Twitter and Pinterest, and become a fan on Facebook and Goodreads. If you’re on all these places, great! If you’re only on one or two, that’s fine, too.

I appreciate your time conducting this interview, Susan. Thank you very much for having me today.

Just What the Dr.Seuss Ordered

I love Dr. Seuss.  His words have influenced me more than any other poet, including Shakespeare.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Shakespeare's work, but I've never felt "inspired" by it.  Dr. Seuss, however, has inspired me on many levels. 

At a young age, he was told to stop drawing because his pictures were terrible and he'd never become an artist.  He didn't quit.

In college, he was told that his writing was mediocre and he'd never go anywhere in the realm of literature.  He didn't quit.

He wrote from what was within his heart, encouraging generations of children to be themselves, to embrace their spots, to like who they are and follow their dreams, whatever they may be and down whatever road they may lie.  His words, though bashed by critics as nonsense, have stood the test of time and remain in a league of their own. 

What a phenomenal person he must have been...and how many lives he has touched with his pictures and words.  He has certainly touched me and, at times in my life, brought healing and strength in a way no other doctor could.    Thank you, Dr. Seuss.  Your wisdom is often just what the doctor ordered.

 

I'm Really A Dog

Have you ever felt like the dog in this picture... like you’re trying so hard to blend in but no matter how much you look and act the part, you’re still different?  I have.  In fact, I feel this way most of the time.  I’m surrounded by other parents whose methods of parenting are far better than mine.  I’m amid team moms that are more dedicated to the sport and to the team than I am.  I’m amongst PTA members who are way more obsessed with their child’s education than I am.  I’m in a Bible study with ladies that trump me in the department of morality and purity.   It’s not that I don’t care about my children’s education or if their team wins or about being a good mom… it’s moreso that I don’t talk about these things constantly or regularly voice my opinion on them.  Trying to look and act the same often requires a certain level of either silence or faking or both.

Blending in can be exhausting.  I think that’s why I seek solace in writing, for on the pages of a novel I can live vicariously through each and every character.  When I’m deep in the throes of writing a novel, I don’t feel the unspoken (and sometimes spoken) condemnation on the way I live my life or the choices I make.  On the page, I can simply be the dog.    

In real life, I often want to scream, but that, too, would be considered an abnormal reaction amongst the herd of sheep.  So, I sit quietly, stifeling my bark, and wondering if anyone will notice I’m really a dog.  ~

Crusty, Hard Nipples

When I was in elementary and even middle school things were not as hectic for parents as they are now; nor was it as expensive.  Our parents didn't have to spend a fortune nor devote two hours at Wal-Mart or Target, checking off a supply list. We had a lunch box, a backpack, a folder with pockets and some pencils, which we sharpened once we got to school.  Everything else was provided.

Now, the kids are required to have dry erase markers, colored pencils, Crayola brand washable markers, Sharpies, mechanical pencils with the replacement lead packets OR pre-sharpened #2 lead pencils (because Lord forbid we should sharpen them at school), a flash drive, personal pencil sharpener, a pencil bag or box, ruler, pens in blue, black and red, an eraser, thin-tipped multicolored highlighters, four hard-cover binders and four packages of 5-tab binder dividers, a three inch hard-cover binder, 1000 sheets of college-ruled paper, two reams of white copy paper, three boxes of Kleenex, three tubes of Chlorox wipes, a roll of paper towels, a locker mate organizer and their own Master lock.

Really?!

I have two children:  one in elementary and one in middle school.  Between the two, we spent over $400.00 just to get them ready for school.  Keep in mind, that does not include school clothing, tuition or lunches.

Unbelievable!

THEN, as an asterik on the bottom of the school supply list is a note that reads:  "Content area and/or electives teachers may require additional class-specific supplies."

What?!?

What else could you possibly need in order to teach my child? 

I don't mean to get off on a rant here, but all of these budget cuts on our school systems are milking parents dry.  Something's gotta give...and it doesn't need to be the parents! There comes a time when the milk dries up and eventually the schools are going to come looking for the suckling parental monetary tit and find nothing but hard, crusty nipples. ~   

Baby Love

 There are moments when I look at myself in the mirror and wish I was twenty-nine again.  Oh, to have a flat stomach; one without c-section scars and the extra layer of flesh that rounds me out.  But then, I gaze at my kids and think, the scars and the extra pounds were more than worth it.  Babies change your body in ways that...well, let's just say, that aren't flattering.  BUT, babies change your heart, mind and soul in ways that are awe inspiring.

There's just something magical about the bond of mother and child... something that makes every sacrifice well worthwhile, even the extra bulge.

I may not look as good at the pool, but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.  :)

 

 

Playful Eroticism

There's something to be said for this.  Anyone can watch something, but the written word coupled with the human imagination is so much more powerful.  :)

As a writer, I find myself unable to continually describe human intimacy in a manner that escapes the fallout of redundancy.  That being said, I do enjoy a good love scene now and again and have incorporated some playful eroticism into my next suspense novel. 

Be Real

I have a pet peeve, actually I have many, but I’m only going to talk about one today.  It is sugary sweet, dripping with honey, fake people.  You know the ones…. their smile is plastered on, and every other word is “wonderful” or “wonderfully” as they go out of their way to tell you about how perfect every element of their life is.  They unnerve me.  It takes all of my strength to restrain myself from slapping them.  Don’t get me wrong, I like happy people and I like positive people.  I am certainly grateful for those moments in my life when I have been down in the dumps and a friend has pointed out the silver lining to my crisis.  I like smiling and love laughing and there is no better feeling of elation than sharing the excitement of life with others.  BUT… there is a big difference between genuine happiness and the overly sugary façade of fake fulfillment.  When people are over-the-top it makes me think they are merely using words to compensate for the unhappiness and un-fulfillment from which they are suffering.  It’s the same principal as the ever-popular joke about the man with the small penis who drives the fancy sports car. 

Overly compensating for something is often obvious to outsiders.  I wish these people would realize that happiness shines from the inside out and can be seen and felt without a word.  I wish they could see that fulfillment illumes the face and can be transmitted without an utterance.  Most of all, I wish these people would learn that it’s okay not to be the perfect, perky Pollyanna all the time.  It’s okay to have down days, sour hours and moments when you feel like you’re barely hanging on.  It’s okay to fail, fall down and make a few faux pas.  It’s life and it’s real and you can be too.  ~

Meeting Your Match

The other day I was asked if I publish my own books and if I publish other writer’s books.  I’ve been asked this question A LOT.  The answer is no.  In fact, I know little about the literary world from a publishing aspect.  I have several writer friends who have chosen to self-publish their books through Amazon and other outlets; some are happy with their decision and others are not.  I have friends who have signed with literary agents and those who have signed directly with publishers.  I don’t believe there is a right or wrong path.  Each avenue presents positives and negatives.  Each route has challenges.  I think the important thing is for every writer to ask themselves what they want and then pursue the avenue that best matches that outcome.  One must realize that writing is a subjective field, just as all other facets of entertainment.  A book that I may love, the next person may deem mediocre.  Getting published is a matter of finding the right “fit” for your work and for yourself.

When I began my journey toward getting my debut novel (No Easy Way) published, I received thirty-six rejection letters and did about a million re-writes.  Then, I entered a contest and my book was nominated for The Heart of Molly award through Heart of Denver Romance Writers.  Before I knew it I had found the right publisher for my book…the right “fit” for my work and for me. 

Since then I’ve had five novels published and one short story and I couldn’t be happier.

If you’re a writer who is considering getting your work published, ask yourself what you want, research the available outlets and then don’t give up.  Finding that perfect publisher for your work can feel like online dating… you might have to jump through a lot of hoops and kiss a lot of toads before you finally meet your perfect match. ~

Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Scam

Have you ever been taken for a ride?  I mean, totally scammed?  I have and it makes me wonder how people get away with it, both internally and externally.  If you lie, cheat and steal for a living, how do you sleep at night?  Aren’t you always looking over your shoulder, wondering if you’re about to be busted?  I would be… I would be in a constant state of fear…and what kind of life is that?!? 

When you’re the one that falls for the scam it makes you feel stupid, like a big doofus.  Hindsight is always twenty/twenty and how easily you look back and see all the red signs piled up.  They were there the whole time, but you couldn’t see them.  You weren’t looking.  You were trusting. 

It reminds me of some of the shady characters in my mafia series, Just Call Me Angel.  They live moment-to-moment, always looking over their shoulder, never at peace.

I've decided that scammers are the equivalent of a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am.  What seems exciting at first becomes crushingly empty afterwards. ~

Summertime Mommy Monster Syndrome

Being a writer and a mom isn’t always easy, but it’s particularly hard in the summer, when school is out.  During the summer, moms wear their normal hats of parent, teacher, counselor, playmate, entertainer, nurse, prayer warrior, taxi driver, cheerleader, chef, maid, butler and nanny… the only difference is that we wear these hats 24/7.  When school is out, mom gets no break.  Between baseball practices and games, swimming, rehearsals, plays, sleepovers, movies, vacations, etc., there is little time to think, much less to write.  Any creative person will tell you that if unable to express their creativity it begins to back up inside of them, and like a clogged hose, will eventually result in an explosion of epic proportion.  When I have a story that is dying to get out and I don’t have the time to write it, I begin to feel frustrated.  If the frustration lasts several days it morphs into resentment toward everything and everyone inhibiting my ability to sit down in peace and write.  In me, resentment manifests itself as crabbiness and a severe lack of patience.  If this continues, my family begins to suffer because Mommy has now become a miserable monster…if you don’t believe me, just ask my husband and children.   

The good news is that I have found ways to avoid the Summertime Mommy Monster Syndrome.  It isn’t fool-proof, but these things have helped  me to continue to write even when the kids are home, despite their many activities and the constant interruptions. (i.e. “Mom, look!” … “Mom, come here!”…. “Mom, where’s my glove?”…. “Mom, look!”…. “Mom, watch this!”…. “Mom!  MOm!  MOM!”… Oh, and did I mention, “Mom, look!”)

1.      I write late at night after the kids are in bed.  Yes, it means I spend the next day tired, but that’s nothing an extra pot of coffee or a couple Five Hour Energy drinks can’t solve.

2.      I write very early in the morning before the kids awaken.  Again, it can leave me groggy, but it’s well worth the sacrifice of slumber.

3.      I take my laptop to practices and rehearsals and write in the bleachers, in the theatre or in my car.  (purchase one of those plug adapters so you can plug your computer into your cigarette lighter)

4.      When the kids are watching television or being loud, I plug my headphones into my computer so I cannot hear them; thus I am able to concentrate on what I am writing.

5.      When I do suffer from Summertime Mommy Monster Syndrome, I have a martini or a margarita and a good cry.  It releases the frustration I feel, renews my spirit and helps me regain my focus and provides motivation for me to tackle another day.

Summertime is a needed break for kids and they deserve our fullest attention; however, in giving them our fullest we mustn’t forget to take care of ourselves too.  After all, when we’re not at our best we can’t give them our best.  As demanding as being a mom is, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.  J

Balancing Life

Balancing a family and a writing career isn't easy.  In fact, just being a mom and a wife has its challenges.  I've reached the stage in life where I spend more hours in my car than I do in my home (not counting sleeping time, of course).  Between my son's football, basketball and baseball schedules and my daughters rehearsals, piano/vocal lessons and run club, I have officially added a new repertoire to my resume, and it's called "chauffer."  Were it not for the invention of the laptop, my writing career would be null and void. Before I owned a laptop, countless chapters had been etched onto napkins in my car, or scribbled onto old receipts dug from the bottom of my purse.  Now, my laptop goes where I go and at practices and rehearsals and lessons I can usually be found sitting in my car with my computer propped atop my lap, rapidly typing away.  It's what I do and what I love to do.  ~

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The Imperfect Process Toward Perfection

Jill wrote:  “I am interested in your process – the down and dirty discipline that you practice every day (e.g., schedule, duration, process) in order to ensure you feel like you’ve accomplished something with your writing on a daily basis.  Is there a certain time of day that you write? Do you shoot for a certain word count? What do you do to eliminate writer’s block? Do you formulate an outline before writing, and is it specific? Or do you create a more general framework of the plot and sequence of events, and let the writing fill in the details?  Where do you get your inspiration when you just don’t feel like doing it any longer on any particular day/week/month?”

Wow!  This is the longest question I’ve ever been asked.  I’m going to do my best to tackle each of these issues… so bear with me.

My “down and dirty discipline” on a daily basis varies because I’m not only a writer, but a mom and a wife as well.  My evenings and weekends are a crap shoot for writing…sometimes I’m productive and sometimes there’s just too much going on.  I accomplish the most during the weekdays between the hours of 8:00am and 2:30pm, which is when my kids are at school.  It is also not unusual to find me up between the hours of 2:00am and 4:00am rapidly typing away.

I don’t officially shoot for a particular word count, however, I am satisfied if I can knock out a minimum of 3,000 words during the day.  Sometimes it’s less and sometimes it’s more.

With regards to writer’s block…it’s never been an issue for me. (knock on wood)  That may sound crazy, but there are enough hours during the week when I am unable to write because of everything else going on; so by the time I am able to sit down and write again, I am chomping at the bit to get my thoughts on paper. 

I never make an outline before writing, nor do I frame up the plot or organize the events.  I usually start with a cup of coffee and one simple idea… either a place or a person and the story builds from there.  When I’m working on a novel I am thinking about it constantly.  In the shower, lying in bed, driving, cooking, switching loads of laundry…it is prevalent in my thoughts and I am always mulling through what I think might happen next.

Where does my inspiration come from?  Everywhere and everyone.  A name can inspire me, or a newspaper or magazine article.  Something I hear on the radio can prompt revelation and birth a new story.  Mostly, though, I give credit to God because, after all, He created the creativity that enables me to write in the first place.

I hope I’ve adequately answered your question.  If I haven’t, shoot me another email and I’ll try again.

Thanks Jill!

Clinging to Faith

The question is:  When you are at your lowest points in life, how do you pull yourself back up?

As someone who has suffered from depression in the past, I understand the black hole effect… that feeling of slipping into darkness and being utterly unable to see any way out. I understand the irrational onset of a depressive episode and the intense irritation that follows.  I understand the depths of undefinable sorrow and a sense of mourning for the unknown.  I know the horrible feeling of opening your eyes in the morning and realizing yet another day has been bestowed upon you.  I know the irony of fearing that you’ll be all alone and at the same time, wanting to be left all alone. I know the sadness that grips your heart until you think you can’t take one more moment of pain.

If you’ve never suffered from depression then you probably have no idea what I’m talking about.

When you find yourself in the black hole, how do you get out?  I wish I had a magic answer.  What I can share with you are three promises that I cling to with a white-knuckled grip. 

• The first one is in the Bible in Philippians 4:13 and it says:  “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.”

• The second one is in the Bible in Romans 8:28 and it says:  “And we know that God makes all things work together for good for those that love Him.”

In both of these verses I focus on the word ALL, because to me that covers anything and everything I may be confronted with or involved in.  If I surrender it to God, He promises to strengthen me and somehow work it all out for good.  I don’t have to understand how… I only have to believe….and I do.

• The third one is in the Bible in Hebrew 13:5 and it says:  “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Even in my darkest hours, God is there and promises to always be with me.

The most powerful instrument that pulls me up when I am at my lowest is my faith...because I know God will never let me down.

Thanks for the question Elaine.  I hope I answered it adequately.  J  

A Silent Stance

I have a pet peeve... actually I have many pet peeves but I'm only going to address one in this blog.

Between my personal email account and my author email account, my facebook accounts, twitter and linkedin I receive anywhere from 70-120 emails every day.  A lot of these are spam and I delete them; but the majority are from individuals who are either asking me a question or sharing a tidbit of information with me.  I do my very, very best to respond to every personal email I receive.  Sometimes my response is a simple "thank you"... but it is a response nonetheless. It is at the very least an aknowledgment that I have received your email and appreciate the time you have taken to correspond with me.

I do this for two reasons:  first, because it is just plain polite.  Second, because it's a good business practice.  I want people to know that I am interested in what they have to say and that I do not take the fact that they have written me, lightly. 

SO... when I take the time to write to someone and ask a question, but receive zero response, it unnerves me.  It makes me feel unimportant and even a little hurt.  Honestly, how much effort does it take to hit reply and answer someone's question.  OR, if you haven't the time to answer, simply reply by saying you will respond at a later time.  At the very least, be polite enough to aknowledge that someone has contacted you instead of taking an aloof attitude of silence.   ~

Marriage: There is No Easy Way

The question was:  In one of your books a marriage survives an affair, do you believe this is possible in real life?

The book you’re referring to is called No Easy Way, and the entire premise of that book is that there is “no easy way” for a marriage to survive… there is no EASY way, but there is A way.  Wrapped in a suspenseful plot is the story of a man and a woman and how their marriage survives the seemingly impossible.                           

My husband and I have been married for almost twenty years.  We’ve had our ups and our downs just like anyone else.  There were moments when we both considered giving up…thankfully we never considered it at exactly the same time; otherwise our story might have been different.  

The point is, marriage is hard and when one person makes a mistake the other one suffers the fall out.

At that point you have two choices:   Stay or Leave

I’m not inclined to pass judgment on anyone’s life and the choices they have made.  I know couples who have divorced due to infidelity and I know couples who have remained together.  It’s a choice and each choice comes with its own complications.  Whether you stay or leave, you will still one day have to plot a course down a path of forgiveness.  There’s no escaping it.  If you are the person who cheated, you’ll have to learn to forgive yourself.  If you’re the one caught in the fall out, you’ll eventually have to learn to forgive the one who hurt you; otherwise the anger will destroy your life from the inside out.  The question then becomes... do you want to walk that path together or apart?

There are no easy answers when hearts are broken and nothing will take away the initial onset of pain. Infidelity rips through a marriage like a tornado in a trailer park and the damage and clean up is both extensive and lengthy.  

But let me say this… having the legal right to divorce doesn’t necessarily mean it is the right choic for you, your spouse or your family.  Some believe staying married to a spouse who cheated makes you weak.  It doesn’t.  Staying doesn’t make you weak any more than leaving makes you strong.  The affair itself casts everyone under a shadow of weakness and vulnerability.  Neither staying nor leaving removes that shadow from your heart. 

Human beings make mistakes and being married doesn't make you suddenly immune to temptation.  There is fall out and heartache in the world of "for better or for worse;" but if you choose (like the couple in my novel) to walk the road of healing together, I believe you can one day reap the benefits of a stronger, closer, more intimate marriage.  There is No Easy Way…but there is a way.




Thanks for your question Sherri.  I hope I answered adequately.