The Mission of Marriage is NOT Missionary
OMG! Did she just use the words God and Sex in the same title senstence? Yep. I did. Now I realize I just got some of your panties in a wad, so let me explain. I’m not saying God is Pro-screw-anybody-and-everybody-you-want-to. I’m not advising you go out and have casual one-nighters in the name of the Lord. What I am saying is that in the context of a marriage, God instructs us not only to have sex, but have great sex and a lot of it!
Skeptical? Don’t worry I’ll show you actual verses later. “Hmmm,” you say, “I’ve never read THAT in the Bible.” You mean this wasn’t taught to you in Sunday school? It wasn’t mentioned in youth group sessions, young adult classes or pre- marital counseling? Maybe if it had been taught almost half of marriages in this country wouldn’t be ending in divorce. Maybe if we weren’t afraid to boldly discuss the truth about God’s command for sex, over half of married people wouldn’t be engaging in extramarital sex during the course of their marriage. If sex is important enough to be in the Bible, don’t you think it’s important enough for us to discuss out loud? We fast. We pray. We follow. We obey. We are also to get laid. It’s a basic human need programmed into us by our Creator and He advices us to fulfill it.
It may surprise you how many married couples rarely have sex or describe their sex life as mundane, predictable and even boring. The General Social Society reported that married men and women, on average, have sex with their spouse 58 times per year. That’s only about once a week, with a couple extra thrown in once a quarter. That means 307 days per year are sexless. Holy Crap! Even more alarming is the report by Newsweek noting 15% to 20% of couples have sex less than 10 times per year, which is defined as a "sexless" marriage.
There are many reasons, some legitimate, but many more excuses. We all know the sexual craving of our teenage, hormone-raging years subsides. Adulthood brings responsibilities that distract sexual interests. Careers and parenting take exhaustion to new defining levels. These are facts of life but should not be used as excuses for prevailing sexual lethargy. When sex drive fades from a raging bonfire to a flickering flame, it’s time to take action, to fan that flame, to get on your knees and blow on it until it gets bigger! Gasp! “Did she just say what I think she said?” Yeah, I went there. When women begin to view sex as a chore and men only get it when they beg for it, there is a chink in the marital armor. It’s time to pound it out and make it smooth and shiny again. When both partners complain that sex has become mundane, there’s a kink in the marital hose and it’s time to straighten it out and water your garden of love. I’ll lay off the metaphors now because I think you catch my drift.
The same position. The same movement. The same touch. The same thrust. The same moan. I’m getting bored just writing about it. No wonder a recent survey by Durex showed that people around the world (men and women alike) reported a greater desire to go out with friends than have sex with their spouse. If missionary is as good as it ever gets, I’d be on a mission to find excitement too. Marriage too often becomes the burial ground for expressed sexuality, when by all rights it should be the birthing arena and safe house of sexual creativity.
This blog series is designed to highlight the distractions, belay the excuses, remove the guilt, forego the pressure, and rekindle the spark of passion you and your partner once felt between the sheets. Will it affair-proof your marriage? I can’t promise that. But let me pose this notion: If you DO your spouse daily they won’t have the physical stamina nor the mental or emotional need to seek it elsewhere. Unlike a fad diet that makes you promises it can’t keep, this plan for ongoing sexual satisfaction works because it was designed by God Himself. It is a Biblical principle that when applied to your daily life will make a dramatic difference not only in the bedroom but in your marriage as a whole.
Sex should not always be missionary but it must always be a mission in your marriage.