Whether or not you have read Dr. Gary Chapman’s book entitled, The Five Love Languages, you are probably familiar with them. To refresh your memory, here is a brief description of each one:
Kind words - when your partner speaks kindly to you, encourages you, gives you an unexpected and genuine compliment, or tells you that he or she cares about you.
Quality time - when you and your partner spend quality time together, enjoying a meaningful conversation or just having a fun date.
Gifts - when your partner surprises you with a gift. The cost of the gift is irrelevant. You feel cared about because he or she spent time thinking about you and what you might like.
Acts of service - when your significant other does things that makes your life less stressful or more enjoyable. Like the feeling you get when you're tired and hungry after a long day, only to be pleasantly surprised to find that the dishes are already washed, the lawn is mowed, or there is a nice meal waiting for you.
Physical affection - when you and your partner hold hands, hug, and share physical contact that reflects deeply caring about each other.
In his book, Dr. Gary Chapman discusses how each of us have a primary love language, and that this language is the channel of communication that makes us feel most loved. If our partner knows how to speak our love language, it intensifies the connection you share. If, however, they do not, it can cause a great deal of turmoil, sadness and even feelings of despair.
Being able to communicate with your spouse is vital to the survival of your marriage and ultimately to your physical and emotional well-being. When the main artery of communication is clogged, it causes partners to fail to connect with one another. This disconnection quickly leads to feelings of animosity, frustration and intolerance; not to mention it leaves both partners feeling unwanted, uncared for, and unnoticed.
All of these negative ramifications eventually lead to chronic unhappiness, which studies are now showing causes hormonal imbalances, depression, fatigue, and weight gain.
A successful marriage is not a sprint, but a marathon. You must be willing to grow and change with your spouse, adjusting your footsteps to the ebb and flow of the path you’re walking. Learning to speak your spouse’s love language is step one, creating the foundation you will traverse upon for the rest of your life together. ~