The Journey

There are few things in this life of which I am certain.  First, with God ALL things are possible.  Second, there are no chance encounters.  Third, hindsight is 20/20.

These  revelations have been reinforced in the fabric of my faith the past few months.  Funny, how you can walk through a situation and feel like your whole world is unraveling; and then look back at it and realize everything was really coming together. 

All things are possible with God… even the unexplainable, the illogical and the untouchable.  God, being all powerful, could simply zap us into whatever position He wanted, but He doesn’t work that way…at least not in my life.  It’s about the journey, I think.  The lessons often lie in what we learn on the pathway toward our destination, and not in the destination itself.  See, every ending is really the next beginning to a new journey.  So, in a sense, there are no “destinations,” but rather, resting spots along the way.

One thing I’ve come to strongly believe is that life is all about people and our encounters with them.   These encounters aren’t always easy…in fact, they can be very difficult.  It is often times more comfortable to hide and interact as little as possible, or turn a blind eye and a deaf ear when someone annoys us or we don’t understand them, than to risk being sucked into their drama and dragged down by their negativity.  It is tempting to take the easy road instead of the high road.  I’ve been guilty of this many times, and I always end up regretting it.  See, if we aren’t on this planet to interact and reach out to one another… why are we here?  Aren’t we supposed to be living for the purpose of loving others?  Aren’t relationships more important than anything else we acquire?

Jesus said, “faith, hope and love; but the greatest of these is love.”  When I read the Bible I tend to look not only at what is said, but at what is NOT said.  Jesus didn’t say, “the greatest of these is love, when it’s convenient, or easy or feels good.”    I often feel convicted by those words because there are people in my life that are just plain difficult to love.  They’re mean, cold, distant, hurtful and sometimes downright hateful; and I don’t want to love them.  It’s impossible for me, but then I remember that with God ALL things are possible.  He tenderizes my heart and gives me the strength to love those that I don’t really like.  He gives me the strength to reach out to them even when they have hurt me.

I’ve come to realize that each person I encounter gives me something unique….something only they could give me.  Whether it’s a smile when I need it most or a heartfelt story that changes my perspective on life, or a word of wisdom; they’re placed in my path for a reason, and I, in theirs.  It may last only a moment, a week, a month or a lifetime; but the encounter is meaningful nonetheless. 

Life is hard and it’s easy to become jaded and shut off areas of our heart that have been wounded.  It’s easy to convince ourselves that we have a right to be aloof and mean, when we don’t understand what is happening.   It’s easier to point a finger, to judge and accuse others of wrongdoing, than it is to look in the mirror and take responsibility for our own shortcomings.   It’s easier to be calloused and cold, than open up and admit we were wrong.   But… with God all things are possible.  There are no chance encounters… because God uses people to touch, enlighten, restore and rebuild other people.   It’s the experience that holds the lesson, and if we turn our back on the experience, simply because it is foreign to us, we miss out on the growth that comes from the journey.    ~

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Boasting About Books Interview by Janet Leibert

BOASTING ABOUT BOOKS   by Janet Leibert

AUTHOR INTERVIEW with S.R.Claridge

POSTING DATE of May 22, 2012

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I’ve read some of your other interviews and will try not to ask you the same questions.  Let’s start easy and random.  Do you dream and if so, do you dream in color?

Wow, that is random.  Yes, I dream almost every night; and I usually wake up remembering at least a portion of my dream.  I always dream in color.

Do you have any reoccurring dreams?

I do, though I haven’t dreamt it in a long time.  When I was younger I used to have a reoccurring dream that I was being chased through the woods by cannibals.  Up ahead was a tree root that stretched across my path.  I tripped over the root every time….every time…despite the fact that I saw it coming and would tell myself not to trip this time.  It is quite frustrating.  I also have a reoccurring theme in my dreams.  Whenever I shoot a gun in my dreams, my bullets always travel in slow motion.  I can’t hit anyone because my shots are easily dodged.  It’s exasperating!

Do you have many dreams where you’re trying to shoot people?

LOL!  Now you’re do a psychoanalysis of me, aren’t you?   Yes, actually I do, but I’m always trying to shoot a bad guy and always out of self-defense.

Maybe this is why so many people are shot in the Just Call Me Angel series?

Oh, so you think I’m overcompensating for the inadequacy I feel in dream.  Hmmmm, I’ll have to think about that one.

If you could have lunch with one person, who would it be and why?

God.  Because I have lots of questions.

Okay, if you could have lunch with one human being, who would it be and why?

That’s hard because there are too many to choose from.  For example, if I want to pick a highly motivated, excellent business mind in the entertainment world, I might choose Madonna.  But, if I want a brilliant brain from the political realm, I might ask Bill Clinton to lunch.  On the other hand, if I want to laugh through lunch I might ask Tim Allen or Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler.  If I want to lust my way through the meal, I’d ask George Clooney, Cary Grant, Patrick Dempsey or The Rock.  If I want some older, female wisdom I might seek out Betty White, Judi Dench or Julie Andrews.   And if I just want a lunch with some fun girlfriends, I might ask Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz.  If I get the urge to kiss a girl, I’d ask Angelina Jolie to join me.  So…. it’s impossible for me to choose one person… there are too many things that factor into my decision.

Holy Cow!  No one has ever answered that question that way.

It seems like a pretty straight forward answer to me.  J

Onto your personal life…

I have to interrupt your sentence…sorry…but it bugs me when people differentiate between “personal” life and some other sort of  life.  The very word “life” is personal, right?  I mean, everything about your life is personal to you… so whether it’s something going on in your business or in your family or in your neighborhood, school, church, etc…. it’s “personal” to you because it’s about your life. I hate when people say, “it’s not personal” or “don’t take it so personally.”   If life should be anything, it should always be personal.  I think if more people lived that way, we’d all hurt each other a lot less.

(You’re right, I’ve never really thought about it that way.)

You have a husband and children, correct?

Yes.  My husband and I are celebrating twenty years together this year, and we have two incredible kids.

How do you make your marriage work?  Like, how has it lasted twenty years when so many marriages fall apart within the first few years?

Sex. 

(LOL!  Once again, I didn’t expect that to be your answer)

Can you elaborate on that?

Obviously, you have to love each other, respect each other and like each other.  But even with all of that in place, marriages….especially in today’s world….are difficult.  Couples have less time together because both work or one or both travel for work and it’s easy to grow apart.  That’s why I emphasize the importance of having a lot of sex.  See, it’s virtually impossible to be intimate with someone and not feel close to them.  It’s hard to make-love and stay angry at them.  Sex between a couple, who already shares a solid foundation of love and respect, becomes a conduit that opens communication and keeps their connection strong.

So, do you believe in divorce?

Of course.  Even Jesus, Himself, said there is just cause for a couple to divorce.  I wish couples would try to stay together because I think when you make it through the hard stuff, you come out stronger on the other side.  But I also realize there are circumstances where divorce is the best choice.  I don’t judge anyone based on whether they stay together or not.

This is a great lead in to your first novel, No Easy Way, where Tom and Kate are separated and both engage in some questionable behavior with other people.   Do you think a real marriage can survive what Tom and Kate’s marriage survives in your novel?

Absolutely.  In every marriage there are a hundred justifiable reasons why each spouse has a right to walk away; but just because you have the right to do something doesn’t make it the right thing to do.  Sometimes you have to dig down deep and find the one reason to stay.

If you could describe your husband in just a couple words, what would they be?

Logical. Strong.  Intelligent.  Devoted.

How do you think your husband would describe you?

Creative. Emotional. Passionate.

Is it safe to assume you are opposites?

Yes, extreme.  We are a testament to the statement that “opposites attract.”

Let’s talk about you, the writer.  You have a background in entertainment, commercials, films, stage, songwriting, do you think all of that helps you be a better writer?

Definitely.  I think anything creative in your life enhances your creative productivity.  With every new experience you acquire new tools that help to equip you for the next experience.

What is your favorite outlet for entertainment?

Right now, it’s writing novels.  In the past, it was performing on-stage, which I still love to do, but don’t have the time. 

Will you perform again sometime?

I think so, maybe.  I don’t have a great desire to do it right now…. I think because my life is just so busy and I don’t want my schedule to be a strain on my family.

Is your writing ever a strain on your family?

Yes and no.  I can write anytime, anywhere so I can easily work it around everyone else’s schedule.   That’s one of the wonderful things about being a writer.

You’ve written five novels and one short story, all published since October 2010.  That’s a lot of writing!  When do you write?

Usually during the day while the kids are at school and sometimes late at night after I put them to bed and my husband is traveling.  Summer is harder to write because there is constant interruption, but I manage to sneak away every now and then and drop a few thousand words from my head to the page.

Do you ever feel like you’re coming apart at the seams, and if so, what holds you together?

No, I’m always calm and completely stable.  LOL!!  NOT!!  I’m usually one thread from coming apart at the seams, but it’s my faith in God that holds me together.  That, and He has blessed me with an incredible family and friends that love me and are supportive and there to strengthen me whenever I need it. 

Do you believe things happen for a reason in life and can you look back and see how you got to where you are today with your writing?

Definitely.  Everything happens for a reason and I love the verse in the Bible that says, “God makes all things come together for good for those that love him.”  Sometimes things look and feel devastating, but if we hold on and we walk through them, I believe we’ll come out in a better, stronger more peaceful place.  There were many ups and downs with my writing.  I received a lot of rejection letters and critiques that were less than encouraging.  You just have to keep putting yourself out there and keep getting back up every time someone or something knocks you down.  It’s hard sometimes… but it’s worth it.

Tell our readers where they can find your books:

All of my books are available in ebook and paperback from Amazon, Barnes&Noble, Smashwords, OmniLit and AllRomanceEbooks.  You can order them into any local bookstore by calling and requesting the books.  For detailed information on each one, including a free read of the first several chapters, visit my website at:  www.AuthorSRClaridge.com     You can also join me on my blog site:  www.FeelingTheFiction.blogspot.com    

Thank you so much for allowing me to chat with you today.  J  

It's People that Matter

Last week, I had a fun interview with the woman in charge of a ladies book club.  It's always extra-enjoyable when I meet with someone and we "click" right away.  We spent more time talking about our husbands and children than we did about my books...which was refreshing.  In fact, we had such a good time we're meeting again in a couple weeks.  This is one of the benefits I really LOVE about being an author... I get to meet new people, hear their stories and it always gives me a new perspective on life.  After all, if life isn't about people and how we connect with them, then what is it about?  If it isn't about reaching, giving and sharing in living, then why are we here?

Even in a simple interview I am constantly reminded that I am so small and the world is so big... that life is not about me at all... but all about touching the lives of the people around me.  ~

No Boundaries

I was talking to a man the other day who was struggling with a situation that he found to be inconceivable.  He told me the situation was unbelievable and in essence said, "God doesn't work that way."  It got me thinking...

Who are we, mere humans, to determine how God works?  He's God, the Almighty, King of Kings, Creator of Heaven and Earth and of all that is in existence... who are we to question His ways?  I think when we begin to put restrictions on God, we stifle our own faith and become destined to miss out on the magic of miraculous events happening right before our eyes.  God is all-knowing and all-powerful and can work in any way He wants, using any means He wants, and anyone He wants.  His ways are so far above what our human minds can fathom, that unless we walk by faith, we will understandably become ensnared in the darkness of disbelief.  Walking by faith sounds like such a simple statement... but it's hard sometimes.  Our perceptions of the world, our own experiences or lack of experiences, and what we've been taught or told by others all influence our perspective on life.  When something sounds outlandish we are quick to call it false. When someone experiences something we don't understand, we are quick to label them a liar.  If we don't have physical proof to back up what God has miraculously done, we are quick to run from it and declare it untrue.  How many miracles have we missed out on simply because our pride got in the way?  How many times did we not believe because our ego said it was better to look away than to risk being made to feel foolish?  Walking by faith is scary, and it often makes us feel blind... having to maneuver through life with just our ears and our hearts.  But, isn't that just like God, wanting us to close our eyes to the things of this world that block our view of Him and what He is capable of doing in our lives?  Isn't that why He told us to "walk by faith?"  So that we would not be distracted by our own ego or emotion, but rather, would see His hand at work.

God DOES work that way.  He works in every way.  Sometimes His plans are quiet and go unnoticed for the most part and sometimes they are radical and upsetting and life-altering.  Sometimes His plan takes us deeper within ourselves and sometimes it forces us to uncomfortably trust another person.  Sometimes we can see Him at work in our lives and other times He won't show us because He's waiting for us to take a step in faith to believe the unseen.  God works in every way, in everything, and in everyone.

We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)

Faith is believing what you can't see and walking according to the promise that God will work ALL things for your good.  It doesn't say He'll work all things for your understanding or your logical comprehension... it says He'll work all things for your good if you'll let go of the pride and the fear that hinders you from walking in faith.  Miracles are happening every day and in the strangest places and the oddest ways.  God has no boundaries.

http://www.icontact-archive.com/KZpoqXr_ydVEKXZFCaO40tExbZNEwm8v?w=3

http://www.icontact-archive.com/KZpoqXr_ydVEKXZFCaO40tExbZNEwm8v?w=3

Burden of Proof

Have you ever been accused of lying?  Have you ever shared something with someone and you could see in their eyes that they didn’t quite believe you?  Like maybe they thought part of what you said was true or maybe they thought you were exaggerating the details, or maybe they thought you were just plain lying about everything.  Despite the fact that you were telling the truth, you suddenly feel an urge to defend yourself… to prove to them the truth you know.  It’s frustrating because as much as a part of you may want to give them the burden of proof they need, another part of you says, if they were really your friend they’d believe you without proof.  Friendship is a relationship of trust and faith.  When strange things happen in life, it’s your friends you expect to believe you, share in it with you, defend you and if necessary, battle with you.  A true friend doesn’t  turn against you because they don’t understand something that’s happening to you.  There are things in life that will happen that even you may not fully understand.  It’s a big world with a lot of people.  Life brings each of us unique encounters, both physically and spiritually.  I may not be able to grasp your encounters and you may not be able to understand mine, but it doesn’t negate their reality or their existence.  Whether life’s encounters are able to be proven with logic and fact, becomes irrelevant when compared to the very experience itself.  I’ve come to realize in life that if you walk around trying to prove yourself to everyone, you miss out on the joy of just being yourself.  You can’t worry about what other people may or may not think of you.  You can’t let someone else’s doubt affect what you know to be true.  You can’t waste your time trying to acquire some sort of proof for someone else… they have to walk their own journey of faith.  It's between them and God. If they’re too shallow to believe in you, then they’re not worth the time it would take to prove yourself….and chances are, you’d just have to keep proving yourself over and over for them…and that’s a waste of your joy and your time.  ~

The word of the day is.... UNBELIEVABLE.

I'd write more, but it actually says enough.  Just unbelievable.

All S.R.Claridge novels are available in ebook and print at

www.Amazon.com

www.BN.com

www.Smashwords.com 

Cold As Ice

There will always be people in this world who will try to steal your joy, rob you of happiness and make you feel less than good enough.  Don't empower them with your tears.  They aren't worth the emotion.  When someone hurts you, say "ouch," give them a chance to right the wrong, and if they make an effort, forgive them.  BUT, if when you say "ouch," they ignore you, turn a cold shoulder, act aloof toward you and refuse to explain why they have grown annoyed by your presence, then pick yourself up and walk away with a clear conscience and a peaceful heart.  For they don't deserve you... and you certainly deserve better.  ~

I was going to add to this...but I think it says exactly what needs to be said.  ~

Annoyed and Aloof

I’ve never been so annoyed with anyone that I turned aloof toward them.  I find this behavior inexcusable and downright heartless.  I’ve been angry, enraged, pissed off, held a grudge, scowled, said mean things and lashed out at people in my life…thankfully not often…but I’ve never once turned a cold shoulder, ignored them or treated them as if they were meaningless to me.  I can’t imagine hating someone to the degree that I blow them off in a purposeful manner to make them feel disregarded and utterly used.  What kind of cold heart exists inside the people that behave this way?  I find it inconceivable to even ponder.  Is it that they are so calloused over by their own emptiness that they don’t realize what their aloof attitude does to others?  It is no wonder they have few friendships and even fewer meaningful relationships.  For how does one befriend a person who turns icy and aloof at the onset of annoyance?  How does one communicate with someone who refuses to respond and, when they do, it is only to point fingers and shift blame?  I’ve pondered this and the only answer I can come up with is the sad fact that you cannot befriend them….at least not for long.  They will turn cold and banish you from their world.  It is only a matter of time.  They’ll tell you that the more you annoy them the more aloof they’ll become, thereby leaving you no other option but to disappear from their life.  They’ll assume no responsibility for their own hurtful actions and they’ll act surprised when they push your buttons to the point where you explode in anger.  These people are manipulative and mean-spirited to the core, thriving on the rejection they make you feel and then telling you not to wallow in the drama of it all.  You can’t fix it and you can’t change them, even if you care about them.  See, the bottom line is they have to care back in order to treat you the way you deserve to be treated…and these people are incapable of caring for anyone but themselves.  They don’t understand that friendship isn’t always blissful and happy.  Friendship, like any relationship, can be rocky and hard at times.  Friends fight and make up.  Friends make mistakes and forgive.  Friends scream at each other and hug.  Friends get annoyed but they respond with love.  Friends stomp away in anger but they always return.  True friendship is filled with ups and downs and twists and turns and repeated apologies and I love you’s. Friends are never aloof, never close a blind eye or turn a cold shoulder.  If you find yourself in one of these one-sided “friendships,” where you’re doing all the reaching out and they’re blowing you off … run.