Thursday, May 3, 2012
Annoyed and Aloof
I’ve never been so annoyed with anyone that I turned aloof toward them. I find this behavior inexcusable and downright heartless. I’ve been angry, enraged, pissed off, held a grudge, scowled, said mean things and lashed out at people in my life…thankfully not often…but I’ve never once turned a cold shoulder, ignored them or treated them as if they were meaningless to me. I can’t imagine hating someone to the degree that I blow them off in a purposeful manner to make them feel disregarded and utterly used. What kind of cold heart exists inside the people that behave this way? I find it inconceivable to even ponder. Is it that they are so calloused over by their own emptiness that they don’t realize what their aloof attitude does to others? It is no wonder they have few friendships and even fewer meaningful relationships. For how does one befriend a person who turns icy and aloof at the onset of annoyance? How does one communicate with someone who refuses to respond and, when they do, it is only to point fingers and shift blame? I’ve pondered this and the only answer I can come up with is the sad fact that you cannot befriend them….at least not for long. They will turn cold and banish you from their world. It is only a matter of time. They’ll tell you that the more you annoy them the more aloof they’ll become, thereby leaving you no other option but to disappear from their life. They’ll assume no responsibility for their own hurtful actions and they’ll act surprised when they push your buttons to the point where you explode in anger. These people are manipulative and mean-spirited to the core, thriving on the rejection they make you feel and then telling you not to wallow in the drama of it all. You can’t fix it and you can’t change them, even if you care about them. See, the bottom line is they have to care back in order to treat you the way you deserve to be treated…and these people are incapable of caring for anyone but themselves. They don’t understand that friendship isn’t always blissful and happy. Friendship, like any relationship, can be rocky and hard at times. Friends fight and make up. Friends make mistakes and forgive. Friends scream at each other and hug. Friends get annoyed but they respond with love. Friends stomp away in anger but they always return. True friendship is filled with ups and downs and twists and turns and repeated apologies and I love you’s. Friends are never aloof, never close a blind eye or turn a cold shoulder. If you find yourself in one of these one-sided “friendships,” where you’re doing all the reaching out and they’re blowing you off … run.