FREE copy of Tetterbaum's Truth!

Prior to the release of the seventh book in the Just Call Me Angel suspense series, we are releasing several hundred free copies of the first book (Tetterbaum's Truth) and asking those who receive free copies if they would please leave an honest review of the book on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

So, be one of the first 200 people to use the coupon code below and receive a FREE book of Tetterbaum's Truth!  Can you handle the truth?

HOW TO RETRIEVE YOUR FREE EBOOK DOWNLOAD

1. Go to www.Smashwords.com

2. In the Search bar, type: TETTERBAUM’S TRUTH by S.R.Claridge

3. Select the book from the list

4. Click on BUY

5. Enter VF83E in the Coupon Code box

6. Click on CHECKOUT

7. At this point the price will drop to $0.00 and you will be able to select in which format you would like to receive your download.

Thank you...thank you...thank you to all of my readers and new readers and for all of fans of the Just Call Me Angel series.  I am excited about the upcoming release of book seven and will share details with you in the next few months.

#TetterbaumsTruth #JustCallMeAngel #GPG #SRClaridge

The Death of Two Friendships

Earlier this week, I discovered that a long-time friend of mine unfriended me.  I don’t know why. I don't know exactly when.  Her mother passed away and when I reached out to her via phone, text and FB, I realized that, in her mind. we were no longer friends.  She never returned my calls.  She never acknowledged my reach.  Forty-years of friendship degraded in an instant.  I was teary-eyed for two days before anger began to replace mourning.

Today, I learned that a few months ago a friend of my husband’s stopped being friends with him because of my Facebook posts about Trump.  He told my husband, “We don’t like your family’s posts.”  And for the past several months he has not returned my husband’s phone calls.  This was a person who was in our wedding.  This was a person who had been friends with my husband for over thirty years.  This was a person to whom my husband would chat on the phone with at least once a week.

I am shocked and deeply saddened…but not for the reasons you might think.

True, I don’t hide the fact that I think Trump is unfit to be the President of the United States nor that I find his sexism, racism and bigotry distasteful. That’s simply my opinion and is not stated in an attempt to alter anyone else’s opinion.  Everyone is entitled to an opinion…at least, last I checked.  On my Facebook page, I express my thoughts, rant about my frustrations, share my happy events, etc., because, well, it is my page; and no apology should be needed, nor will one be rendered. 

What I find ironic is that this man wasn’t even Facebook friends with me… so he was either purposefully going to my page – as my profile is public -  to read my posts, or a mutual friend was reading my posts to him.  Childish behavior in either case.  

I have many friends who support Trump.  I have many Republican friends who don’t support Trump. I have Democrat friends who abhor him and Independent friends who simply shrug and shake their heads.  The point is… my friendship with these people exists despite any of our political affiliations.  I don’t like or dislike a person because of their political preference and I certainly would never unfriend someone who has been a good friend for years simply because I disagree with their Facebook posts. 

This behavior is absurd, calloused and ludicrous at best; not to mention hurtful, self-righteous and belittling.

And let’s not overlook the fact that this man ended a life-long friendship with my husband because he didn’t like MY posts, not my husband’s posts.  How much of a high-horse does one have to be on to deem a thirty-plus-year friendship no longer worthy over the fact that someone’s spouse doesn’t like the current President?  Wow. Just. Fucking. Wow.

Yes, I dropped an F-bomb because I think it’s appropriate in this context.  I’m sure it will offend someone…and you know what… I. Don't. Care. I’m offended by the manner in which my husband and myself for that matter have been treated… all because I voiced my opinion.  So...what...I should sit quietly and smile, stifling my thoughts, feelings and revelations, so to make others feel comfortable and appeased, for when I am my true self, my friendship is for naught?  That is the message that has been sent and painfully received.

I cried for two days and now I'm done with the pity party.  I'm done with the tears and I'm done caring about what other people think of me.  My opinions are mine.  My thoughts are valid and my truth is real.  If you don't agree with it, that's okay, for perhaps it isn't your truth.  But what is not okay is to judge me and deem me intolerable and unlovable; and to throw my husband under the bus because of my political opinions is not even remotely acceptable on any level whatsoever.  Pull the stick out of your stuffy ass, loosen your collar, unwad your panties and get a grip already!

Despite the fact that I have been berated for my opinion, called a liberal, a snowflake, told that I was going to hell, and had people walk out of our lives, etc., the facts remain evident.  Fact:  In almost every election I have voted for a Republican candidate.  But, that’s not important.  Let’s disregard the fact that my husband and I have moral and ethical values with regards to family and business.   Let’s not look at the fact that my husband and I believe in showing kindness and love toward others, believe in teaching our children the fundamentals of faith, the commitment of a relationship, the meaning of family with God at the center of it all, that equality matters and that judging others is wrong. Let’s take every similarity we share with this man and with my girlfriend who dumped my friendship without even the decency of an explanation, and degrade and disregard it, void it and mark it irrelevant.  Yes, let’s take every ounce of goodness that exists in me and my husband and toss it to the wind because I don’t like Trump as President.  Again I say, “Wow.”  Just. Fucking. Wow.

Fact:  my husband didn’t deserve this and I predict that this man will come to regret his decision in time, because, you see, in four years (eight at the most) Trump will be out of office and another President will fill those shoes.  It might be a Republican.  It might be a Democrat.  It might be an Independent Candidate.  Who knows?  But what is certain is that the friendship this person abandoned will not be there waiting for him when Trump is gone and he decides that my husband is suddenly worthy enough to be his friend.  The truth is when you abandon someone in this manner it is you who is unworthy of their friendship.

I am outraged.  I am wounded.  I am repulsed.

I have close friends who support Trump and when I look at them, do you know what I see?  I see them.  I see the person, the heart, the mind, the soul I have loved for years.  I see the memories of our friendship, the warmth of their smile, the quirks and unique characteristics that make my heart bond to theirs.  I don’t look at them and see Trump.  I don’t look at them and see a Democrat or a Republican or an Independent.  My love for them transcends our political differences at the moment.  Because in the grand scheme of things… what I believe politically and what they believe politically doesn’t change who they are and who I am. It doesn’t negate our history.  It doesn’t void my affection for them.

If my close friends feel strongly about supporting Trump, then I think they should do just that.  And if my close friends feel strongly in standing against Trump, then I think they should do just that. Educate themselves and then follow their convictions.  Follow their heart.  Stand for what they believe in.  And they should do it without fearing that they will lose friendships over it.  I would never leave a life-long friendship in the dirt because of political opinions.  Never.  The mere thought of it is degrading to the defining qualities of love.  The mere act of it is anti-love. 

So, to these two people in particular… I and my husband would never have left you, never condemned you, never judged you and always loved you.  But now, standing at the threshold of your judgment, I only have one thing to say…

Kiss my ass.

Be the HO HO HO in his Merry Christmas!

I receive email, mostly from women, talking about my books, the characters in my books and often times about their own lives and the struggles or triumphs therein. Today, on the verge of Christmas, I wanted to share an excerpt from one of these letters:

“I’ve read all of your books and your blogs including the really really old stuff [Desire the Fire] about keeping a marriage alive.  No Easy Way is my favorite book because of Tom and Kate’s marriage and how I can relate to the problems they face.  I’ve been married twenty-seven years.  Our kids are grown and gone and I have two grandbabies on the way.  It’s an exciting time in our lives but I sometimes miss the passion I read about in yours and other’s books.  I think it’s that drive for passion that leads people into affairs and I [like every woman out there] am looking for a way to avoid that.  I want to give my husband something special for Christmas to show him that the bedroom doesn’t have to be boring for us just because we’ve been together so long.  What would you recommend?  If you were writing us into one of your books how would you keep our marriage alive?”

Marriage takes a lot of work, but I believe that half the battle lies in wanting to not only keep the marriage alive, but make it thrive.  How do we do that?  If I had a magic answer I’d be among the world’s wealthiest.

Years ago I was working on a project wherein I presented on this very topic.  It was based on the F-word and called the Four F’s.  For men, those four F’s were represented in:  Food, Friends, Football, Fucking.   For women, the four F’s were represented in:  Fine Dining, Friends, Footwear, Fantasy.  The gist of the presentation was that men and women’s desires are quite different and once you understand the differences you will be better able to meet your spouse’s needs.

Disclaimer:  Not ALL men are the same and not ALL women are the same. Thus, I am speaking in generalities here.

My recommendation for surprising your husband with something special on Christmas is to surprise him with you… that is to say, a version of you he hasn’t seen before.  If you don’t normally wear lingerie, wear it.  If you don’t normally light candles, light fifty of them all over the bedroom. (Just don’t burn down the house in the process.)  If your normal sexual activity is confined to the bedroom, do it elsewhere.  Try the middle of the family room floor or the counter top in the kitchen. (Knee pads advised and don’t forget to sanitize the counter top afterwards.)  If you don’t normally participate in S&M activities, go a little Fifty Shades.  If he likes porn, get some magazines or watch a movie together.  If you’ve never added food to the mix, go a little 9½ Weeks. If you don’t normally use sex toys, get some. (Buy batteries too!)  If you don't normally play erotic music in the background, turn some on and turn it up!  When is the last time you massaged his hands, feet and other areas?  

Take a hot, steamy, candle-lit shower together and do stuff to each other that you don't normally do.  (I'm reminded of the lyrics to an Olivia Newton-John song called, Soul Kiss..."I get down on my knees and..."  You get the gist.)  Get creative and think outside of the box.  Ask yourself what gets your spouse going?  What drives him crazy?  What turns him on?  And then do that. 

When I used to present on this topic, some of the most common fears were:  What if I offend him?  What if he’s not “into” it?  What if he thinks I’m crazy?  Let me belay these concerns by saying that most men are more adaptable and open than they are given credit.  Many of them don’t bring these ideas to their wives because they fear the same backlash, but when the wife presents it as her idea, there’s typically little objection.

Key to re-igniting that sexual spark in your marriage is to open your mouth and talk about the things you’ve both thought about, but have been afraid to verbalize. There is no “right” or “wrong” involved in your romantic relationship with your spouse.  You two set the boundaries.  You two decide what is acceptable.  You two create the fantasy.

If you try something and it doesn’t work, you have, at the very least, given each other a memory at which you can share a laugh for years to come.

Everything worth having in life takes work and marriage is no different.  Sex isn't the most important element of a relationship, but it is an element that cannot and should not be ignored.  Physical affection is a manifestation of emotional connection.  The truth is that real life isn’t romantic and mushy-gushy like you see in movies or read in books. But…you can create magical moments in your marriage that are… if you lay down your inhibitions and use your imagination.

I think most men would agree that sensational sex is a great stocking stuffer.  So, for one night, be the HO HO HO in his Merry Christmas!

Social Networking Feels Like Stalking

One of my authors said to me, “I feel like I’m stalking people when I’m doing a social media marketing campaign.”   

“Yes!” I responded.  “That means you’re doing it right.”

Social networking is not stalking, though I understand how it can feel that way, (especially if you’re doing it right) because in implementing your target marketing approach, you often find yourself visiting and re-visiting the same pages.

Most people don’t understand how social networking really works and why it is so important in

building a fan base.  This is because we, as humans, are ME focused and we forget that to engage someone we must stop and think about what is important or relevant to them.  Thus, in networking we must target our efforts, partnering with those accounts that are similar in content to our own.

The benefit of social networking is that you increase the visibility of your product and yourself. 

What does it take to be a good social networker?  The willingness to put yourself out there (knowing a certain level of vulnerability comes with it), a lot of time and a commitment toward action.

 

VULNERABILITY

The simple fact is that you cannot have privacy AND be in the public eye. 

When you place yourself in the public eye, you must expect that a certain percentage of “weirdos” will emerge and be drawn to you.  This comes with the territory and if you can’t handle it, then don’t go public. 

My Facebook page is public because I am an author and the amount of books I sell is directly related to the amount of contact I make with the virtual universe.  I also run a publishing company and use social media to assist in marketing my author’s new releases. Thus, I “friend” just about anyone who requests my friendship, viewing every individual as a potential new contact, new reader and new fan.  I believe paths cross for a reason, even in the virtual world, and I can honestly tell you that I have made some very good friends over social media.  The risk is high at times and I have had moments where I have felt threatened, but those instances are few and far between.  The truth is that I have had way more positive experiences in social media than negative ones.

If I “friend” someone who then behaves inappropriately, i.e. posting porn or solicitations on my wall, commenting rude or explicit things, sending me nude pictures, etc., I simply block them and move on.   In putting myself out there publicly I am assuming responsibility for the fact that I may encounter some strange individuals and thereby accepting the culpability that it is my job to block them when needed.

It is no one else’s fault when a “weirdo” emerges. 

GROWTH TAKES TIME

Social networking takes time and effort because in order to grow your visibility, you have to help grow the visibility of others.  For me, those others exist primarily in the entertainment/literary realm.  

This is how it works:

 

Every time I go to an author, actor or artist’s page and “like” something, it shows up in the news feed of all of my “friends.”  This promotes that person’s page.  In addition, my name shows up in their post when I “like” it or comment on it, giving me visibility.  The hope is that those people will reciprocate the action by “liking” or commenting on one of my posts, thereby rendering that post visible to their “friends” in their news feed.  In essence, by “liking” and commenting on each other’s posts, we are connecting our “friend” base and over time, expanding it.

When people continue to see the same name popping up in their news feed, they are more likely to become curious and click on it.  In order to make the same name appear over and over, you must visit the same pages over and over and continue your efforts of "liking" and commenting.  It is a process and involves hundreds of clicks on your targeted sites every week.  

So, if you’ve ever felt like you were wasting time traversing your news feed and “liking” posts, you’re not…you’re actually helping grow your own visibility and the visibility of the people, places and projects you like.

TARGET YOUR NETWORKING EFFORTS

Liking everyone’s posts would be impossible, so it is important to target your social networking to the people and projects that are related to you and your work. 

For example, my daughter is an actress.  Therefore, when she is filming a particular project, I will target my networking efforts to that project and the people involved therein.  Anything that they post that is related to that particular project, I “like” or comment on.  Sometimes I will even “share” it to my own wall.  Or, if I really want to drive viewers to it, I will download the pictures or information they have posted and then post it on my wall as if it is a new post from me.  This feeds directly to my “friends” list as a post by me, not just a post I have “shared.”  Posts by you will statistically generate more interaction from those on your “friends” list than posts you have “shared.”

Commenting, liking and re-posting literally builds a network between you and the people you support.  In growing their visibility, you are expanding  your own.   But it doesn't happen overnight and it doesn't happen without the commitment to visit those targeted pages over and over and over again.

Doesn’t it behoove me to network with people who have more “friends” than me?  Absolutely.  Those with the most followers, fans, friends, etc. have the farthest reach in the virtual world.  If they “like” or comment on your posts, it can only help you; and you should definitely be “liking” and commenting on their posts. 

There is no marketing effort that is in vain.  Every time your name appears you are getting it out there.  The goal of social networking is to get people talking about you, your project, your product, your vision.  Thus, every action you take in this direction…every “like”…every comment…every “friend”… is a step in the right direction. 

 Remember, giant leaps begin with small steps.

Although constantly visiting the same pages over and over can feel a bit like stalking, it is important to realize that the difference lies in your reason for being there.  If you are visiting for promotional purposes and the opportunity to grow your base, you’re marketing.  If you are visiting for personal purposes to see what they did over the weekend, then you might be guilty of stalking. 

One author asked, “What if someone gets mad at me or thinks I’m strange for constantly commenting on or liking their posts?”

That’s their problem, not yours.  As long as your comments are polite and professional, there is nothing wrong with commenting or “liking.” 

There are some people who do not understand how social networking works and who will be prone to think that you are visiting their page with ulterior motives.  These people put themselves out there publicly and then pretend that they are victimized or harassed when their pages are frequently visited. They are narcissists who believe everyone wants them and everyone is stalking them.  Honestly, these people should not be in the public eye because they cannot handle it.    So, don’t worry about them.  If someone gets offended by the fact that you “like,” comment or re-post their posts, mark them off your list and move on.  Those who understand the value of social networking will not be offended by your actions.

Social networking is just that…networking.  It is building a network of people with common interests.  So, determine your target market and begin reaching out to those people today.   ~

Life is Funny and Funny has FUN in it!

OMG!  People!  Lighten Up!

Comedy exists to bring pleasure and release, not to force deep contemplation or discussion about humanity and the society therein which we dwell.  Can’t funny just be funny?  Why is everyone so damn serious all of the time?  I don’t want to go off on a rant here…but…

I posted a video excerpt on my Facebook page from the television show, 3^rd Rock from the Sun.  It’s a comedic look at voting.  After that post, I got emails asking me why I would struggle to vote this year and many telling me who was the “right” candidate for America.  Are you kidding me?  Can't you put your stupid, political opinion aside for ten seconds and just enjoy the humor of a sitcom?!

Then, I posted a clip from the game show, Family Feud, with Steve Harvey, who I think is quite amusing.  The question in the clip is:  Fill in the blank, as a married man I would _____ for sex.  The first guy hits his buzzer and blurts, “Pay!”  Steve Harvey’s expression is priceless, as it is when the other answers emerge.  Lie.  Beg.  Kill.  Die.   You can watch the clip here:  https://www.facebook.com/susan.claridge/posts/10209758709220354?pnref=story 

I posted that what I found most amusing was that two of the women answered with “cook” and “clean.”  These are obviously wrong answers for the show…but I teasingly remarked that if men would merely cook and clean more often they would never HAVE to pay, lie, beg, kill or die for sex.

Multiple emails filled my box with people who were offended by this post.   They wanted to know how I could condone a married man paying for sex.  Another person wanted to know why I thought it was okay for a man to lie in order to get laid.  One person asked why I thought it was acceptable for a woman to expect a man to have to cook and clean in order to get sex.  Unbelievable.  A fourth wanted to know why married people would want to hire prostitutes in the first place.

People… people…breathe.  I simply posted a clip I thought was amusing.  It’s spoofing the fact that sex is so important to a man that he will do just about anything to get it.  It’s supposed to be fun, lighthearted, funny.  There is no deeper, hidden meaning.  Steve Harvey isn’t saying that married men should pay, beg, lie, kill or die for sex.

Chill out already!  Don’t be so frigid in your thinking that you can no longer appreciate humor.  Comedians joke about sex all the time… because, well, the dichotomy of the male versus female sexual outlook can be funny.  And married women, maybe if you “put out” a little more, the jokes wouldn’t hit so close to home, and you wouldn’t get so upset about it.  And married men, maybe you would get more action in the bedroom if you took more action in the kitchen.  I’m jus’ sayin.’

I’m so tired of all of this ultra-diplomacy, where we can’t call a spade a spade because we fear that someone, somewhere might get their panties in a wad.  Well, wad those suckers up …or better yet, rip ‘em off and go commando.  Enjoy life.  Embrace comedy.  

If we lose our sense of humor, there is nothing left.  And dare I say it, but if you have lost your sense of humor maybe it signifies that you're not getting laid often enough!  

The reality is, none of us get out of this living thing alive and we’ve only got one shot…so enjoy it.  Love deep.  Laugh hard.  Be healthy.  Be kind to yourself and others.  Make a fool of yourself now and again. Be respectful and gracious and honest.  Have a drink on occasion.  Try new things.  Be courageous.  Be hospitable.  Pray.  Learn from your mistakes.  Forgive.  Apologize when it’s your fault.  Listen to all kinds of music.  Be kind to animals.  Dream big.  And get laid a lot.  (I didn't say pay for it or lie or beg or kill or die for it.)  The point is, the only things you'll look back and regret are those chances you didn't take...the stolen kiss you turned away from...the moment you let pass you by and the opportunity you let slip away because you feared what others might think about you. 

Don't be frigid in the way you think, live and love. Be true.  Let go of the labels and let yourself laugh at the humor in it all. 

Whatever you do…whoever you are…don’t take life so seriously that you miss out on the comedy that is all around you.  Life is funny and funny has the word FUN in it.  I don’t think that’s a coincidence.   ~

WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT - Sending Dick Pics Makes You a Dick

WARNING:  This blog contains graphic pictures of male genitalia.  It is not for the faint at heart so now is your opportunity to stop reading and close your browser window.  I am posting this blog to make a point.

EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD.



It's a sad state of affairs that I am blogging about penis pics once again.  Alas, this is the third time this year that a man on FB has sent me nude pictures of himself.  Not the same man.  Each time it has been a different man.  You know what they say, "third time's the charm."  So, this time, I'm going public with his pictures and his information.  Hopefully, a lesson will be learned and I will not receive any further penis pictures.  Hopefully, men everywhere will stop and think before pressing the SEND button on their next penis pics.

Last night as I opened my FB email I was shocked to find that I had received not one but two penis pictures from a male whom I do not know in real life.  We were virtual friends existing only in the FB world.  In fact, I have never had any form of contact with him.  So, what makes a man decide to send a complete stranger a picture of his genitalia?

If only I knew the answer.

Keep in mind that my FB profile is public because public status is necessary due to the line of work I am in.  But, it only takes a moment of perusing my profile to realize that I am married and not seeking any form of male companionship outside of my marriage.  It is also evident that I'm a Christian woman and a mother who is very involved in her kid's lives; and that I do not have pornographic images in my photos folder.  How, then, do I fit the demographic showing a desire to receive pornographic emails?  Do these men even read my profile or do they simply see that I am female and, thusly, assume that I am going to love their dick pics?

Do they actually believe that I will open my email, fall to my knees in adoration of their manhood and write to them urgently, promising to leave my husband and begging for them to take me as their own?  Is that the fantasy... because I just can't seem to get there? 

Do they think that I will reciprocate the action and send them pictures?  Is that the hope?  If so, here's a pussy for you: 

How do you like my breasts?  Don't they look yummy?

You see, that's as explicit as I get and the inuendo alone is quite enough. 

I think it's time for a giant dose of reality.... Men, you might want to sit down before you read this because it may come as a shock to you.  Here we go:

Women think penises are weird looking, odd and rather gross.  When they are flacid they serve us no purpose whatsoever.  When they are strongly erect, we like them to pleasure us but we don't want to stare at them.  They are not a part of the human body that we want to gawk at or gaze at longingly.  We do not want to receive a picture of your genitalia...ever.  This applies to the men we love and certainly applies to the men we don't.  So, go ahead and do whatever it is that you do with it on your own time, but when the cameras are out keep it in your pants...literally.

I'm sorry, but it's true.  The male genitalia is not considered a work of art.  It's useful and practical but not beautiful.

That being said, if you want to entice a woman, send her pics of the parts of you that are beautiful and at which she longs to gaze.  For example:  your eyes, your smile, if you have nice abs or nice arms or a nice ass (not naked but in some fine-ass looking Levi's).  Those are the parts that she likes to look at.  Your dick, as fine a tool as it may be, is not something she wants to stare at in her email.

Even better, send her something that expresses your humor or quirky personality, your integrity or your spontaneity.  Show her the beauty that matters most and that will leave an impression to last a lifetime.  Your inner beauty is a more powerful tool than the one dangling between your legs.

WARNING:  GRAPHIC CONTENT BELOW



I opened my email last night to find this:  (Pictures have been removed because I don't want them forever on my blog.  They are too graphic and gross.)

I never replied to Sandy, as anything I would have to say to him would not be nice.  But, if you would like to reply to him, please feel free.  He's obviously seeking attention, so what do you say we spread this post as far and wide as possible?  I say we give him the notority he deserves.  Maybe he could land a porn gig out of it.  Or maybe some woman will see his penis, fall instantly in love with him and they'll live happily ever after.  The possibilites are endless... NOT.

The truth is I'm not only offended by the pictures and by the simple fact that he thought they would be well received, I feel violated by the images and more so by his intent.  I should be able to open my email without worrying about being repulsed.  It stirs in me an anger, an anger that many women have felt and yet been unable to extinquish.  Are we to just take it?  Are we to merely accept the fact that men have the right to violate us in this manner?

If this man came up to me on the street and whipped out his penis and began masturbating in front of me, it would be illegal.  How then is sending these images via email any different?  

The violation is the same.  I have been forced to see something that I did not ask to see nor want to see.  Ladies, do we simply delete the email, block the person and go about our business, trying to erase the discusting pictures from our minds?  Or, do we take back the control and let every perverted man out there know that if they send a picture, that picture will be posted everywhere along with their contact information and profile links.  Do we turn the tables and make them think twice before depressing the SEND button on their next email to another woman...one that could be going to our sisters, friends, mothers or daughters.

The fact that Sandy actually believes a woman would respond positively to this action tells me he is a real whack-job (pun intended this time), though I aleady gathered that from the pictures.   

Men, the reality is that sending dick pics to women makes you nothing more than a dick...a flacid, useless dick.

Women, let's take a stand and tell the world that we will no longer tolerate this type of behavior. Send this to your female friends and let's take a stand against the men who treat women with a level of gross disrespect.  If they want to send us pictures of their dicks, I say we plaster those pictures all over the world, one email, tweet, DM, IM, post and blog at a time.

Sandy's FB page:  https://www.facebook.com/san.dychirs?fref=ts    Go get him, girls!

This ri-DIC-ulous crap stops here!                      

Change Begins When Our Silence Ends

At what point is enough, enough?!

We…and by “we” I mean parents…we bite our tongues, grit our teeth and sit on our hands because we fear the consequences of making waves.  We watch mean kids do mean things over and over and over again and get away with it because we are afraid that if we say something to another parent, a teacher, a principal, a director or a coach that negative repercussions will befall our child.

Then…and here’s the topper… THEN we tell our children that they should not be afraid to stand up for themselves.  We have the nerve to quote inspirational things like “be the change you want to see in the world” and yet we are scared into stone cold silence ourselves.  Hypocrites.  That’s what we’ve become.  Hypocrites.

How do we teach our kids to defend themselves when we can’t even defend them because of the fear of ridicule and backlash?

“If I say something they might not cast my kid in a role again?”

“If I speak up my kid might lose playing time on the field.”

“If I say something they might make my kid’s life a living hell in class.”

“If I speak up they might get mad at me and a friendship will be ruined.”

At what point do we stop kissing ass and start covering it?

Oh, I long for the days of past when a simple punch to the nose would end it and the bully would realize there were consequences for being mean.  But now, oh no, we have to be so goddamned politically correct that we’ve designed a society wherein the bully suffers no consequences.  The bully wins.

The reality in our world today is that the bullies aren’t the ones committing suicide…the victims are.  The mean kids aren’t the ones being degraded…the nice kids are.  We sit back, as if puzzled, scratching our heads and wondering why the teenage suicide rate is skyrocketing in our nation but we refuse to step out of our political correctness to do anything to change it.  Hypocrites.

It’s time we call a spade, a spade.  It’s time we stand up, for God’s sake, open our mouths, call the mean kid a mean kid so that he can be stopped!  Us shutting up isn’t helping anyone.

Bullies are assholes.  Period. 

“Gasp!  You can’t call a child an asshole!” Society gawks.

Yes, I can and I just did.  Bullies are assholes no matter what age, size or package they come in.  They can be five or ninety-five.  And here’s the reality:  The fact that they exist and continue to exist is our fault.  Yours and mine.  Why?  Because we have the power to change them.  We have the power to stop them.  All we have to do is open our mouths and shut them down.  If we had the courage to openly identify and label a kid a bully, that kid would then be given the opportunity to change his or her behavior.  They would be presented with the ability to choose NOT to be the asshole.

Our silence helps no one.

Our silence ultimately hurts everyone.

Our silence sets a bad precedence for our kids, who then think they have to shut up and take it just as they see us doing.  And, thus, the bully wins again and again and again.

We force a smile, tell our kids that kindness will prevail, all the while knowing it’s a lie.  Yes, killing with kindness is a wonderful tactic… but it won’t stop a bully.  They will march right over it, smash it, annihilate it, mock it and spit on it (literally).

We tell our kids that violence is never the answer, and yet, we know firsthand that a punch to the bully’s nose will render him afraid to ever pick on our kid again.  But that isn’t politically correct…so we hush…we stifle the truth…we fight to quiet ourselves when every parental instinct is to defend our young.

Reality:  If a child punches a bully, despite the fact that the bully has belittled, spit on, mocked, antagonized and berated the other child for months, the victim is suspended or kicked out of our schools and the bully suffers no consequences whatsoever.

Then we tell our kids that there is justice in this world.  Hypocrisy.  What’s wrong with this system?

We have become so politically correct that we have lost all defining qualities of what is right and wrong.

Silence isn’t golden, it is painful.  And shame on us for allowing the pain to linger because we are afraid to take action.  Shame on us for hushing our voices when our very voice is the best advocate and sometimes the only advocate our child has.  Shame on us for creating the hypocrisy.

“Kids will be kids,” we say and try desperately to shrug it off, as we stick our heads deeper into the sand and wonder why the suicide rate climbs.

We try to institute politically correct programs to stop bullying…and though the idea is wonderful, the execution falls short because being nice to a bully won’t change him.  A swift kick to the balls or forearm shiver, will. 

Our grandparents and parent’s generation knew how to handle bullies and it worked.  Why are we not following their lead?

When will it be enough?  When will we stop this cycle?  How many times does your kid need to be spit on, made fun of, belittled and berated by another kid before you find your voice?  How many times does your kid need to come home from school or from a gathering of peers sobbing, before you find the courage to speak up?  How high does the teenage suicide rate need to climb before we realize that our politically correct programs aren’t working?

This must stop.  Punishing the victims must stop.  Silence must stop.

Mean kids aren’t going to be mean in front of adults.  They aren’t going to mistreat another child in front of their parents, teachers or coaches.  They’re smart enough to do it when adults aren’t around.  Knowing this is the case, why then do we tell the victim to go to a teacher, parent or coach for assistance.  Then, when they do, the adult shrugs and acknowledges that unless the action is witnessed, it is as if it never occurred.  Our very system sets the victim up to be repeatedly victimized.  It strips the child of all power and all recourse.  This hypocrisy must stop!

How many tears will it take?  How many lives will it take?  How many cuts on flesh will there be?  How much suffering will it take before WE stand up and say enough is enough?!

WE have to open our eyes.  Our child comes to us because they are being mistreated and we, feeling the politically correct reins around us tighten, do nothing to help them.  Eventually, they stop coming to us.  They internalize their fears, their pain and they slip further and further away as depression beckons them.  What's next?  Cutting.  Drugs. Suicide attempts.  And then we have the gall to shake our heads and wonder what happened?

Bullying happened.  An asshole we didn't stop happened.

I’m stopping it now!  If you spit on my kid, he has my express permission to spit back.  If you hit him, run because he has my permission to punch you back.  If that means we have to home school because we’ve been kicked out of our district, so be it.  We will lie down quietly no more.

My children are taught not to pick on anyone.  My children are taught to be kind to everyone.  My children are taught not to make fun of others, but to find one thing about each person that is good, likable, amazing or interesting.  My children are taught to compliment others and to uplift them and be helpful in any way that they can.  Why then, should my child suffer at the hands of a bully with no recourse or defense whatsoever?  They shouldn't.  They won't!

Political correctness is not justice.  What a hypocritical joke we have become.

No more.  Enough is enough.  A spade is a spade.  A bully is a bully.  This needs to stop right now, right here.  No more lives.  No more tears.  No more suffering.  No more politically correct crap. 

Change begins when our silence ends and I'm done being silent.

  

Let's Talk About Nudity

Let's talk about nudity.

If that first line didn't get your attention, I don't know what will.  It is the perfect example of "hooking" the reader right out of the gate.

But in all seriousness, let's talk about nudity.

When I mention nudity I am not referring to pornography or anything grossly inappropriate.  I'm simply referring to a man and a woman's body without the mask of clothing.

Men and women view nudity differently.  Men are much more open about being naked.  They strip down in locker rooms, urinate next to one another and seemingly have no discomfort strutting around in the buff.  Most women, on the other hand, find being naked a challenge.  We are so self-focused that we can't just relax and enjoy the freeing feeling of being nude.  We're too busy judging our body and pointing out all of its flaws to be able to see the beauty in it.

Here's an idea ladies, let's stop it!

Your self-absorption with your body is painting a poor picture in your husband's psyche.  The fact is that you might notice every tiny bit of cellulite or a stretch mark or a scar, but he's not only not focusing on it, he probably doesn't see it at all.  You might think your thighs are too big but as long as those legs are going to be wrapped around him, he doesn't care. All he wants is your skin on his skin. He wants to feel you and touch you and, yes, see you.  Men are visual creatures, so don't rob them of the joy it brings to behold their lover naked just because you have an insecurity about your body. And don't taint the picture for him before he even has the chance to drink it in.  What I mean is, don't walk into the bedroom moaning about how bloated you feel or how saggy you think your breasts have become. Enter the room with the confidence of Beyonce.  Flaunt whatever it is that God gave you and make him think that you think you're the best damn woman to ever grace the earth.

Confidence is sexy and men like sexy.

It is statistically proven that couples who get naked together have a better chance of staying together. Couples who kiss and hug more often have longer lasting marriages.  Why?  Because human touch is important.  We all crave it because we all need it.

If insecurity has kept you hiding your body, it's time to say ENOUGH and get in the buff!

Setting The Record Straight

In a previous blog I shared the email correspondence from an incident that occurred on Facebook.The email thread that I posted has become the cause of confusion and I want to set the record straight.

A friend's name (Mark F) was mentioned in the email. Mark in no way had anything to do with what transpired, nor was there anything inappropriate on his Facebook page.  The man who contacted me simply saw my name and picture on Mark's friend list and contacted me without Mark's knowledge.

If you have any questions, please email me at AuthorSRClaridge@gmail.com

Time to Stop Shrugging it Off and Start Calling it Out

This blog content has been removed.

If you would like to discuss the content please feel free to contact me via email.

AuthorSRClaridge@gmail.com

A Passionate Pursuit

My eleventh novel is coming out in just a few short days and it has caused me to reflect on my journey as a writer.  Though I have written since the age of thirteen, my first novel was released in 2010 and every year since I have had releases; with the exception of last year.  2014 slipped away and before I knew it, an entire year had passed. Perhaps every writer needs a breather now and again.
During the course of those twelve months, people asked if I was quitting.  My only answer came in the form of a smile.  See, what non-writers don't know is that writers can't quit.  They might cease to publish their work, but they never stop writing.

Writing is a disease, a curse, an addiction, an obsession and a love all rolled into one.  Some days you battle it.  Some days you relish in it.  There are moments when you birth the words through force and there are moments when they flow.  But, the one consistency is that a writer writes.

With three more novels currently in the works, I hope to have several releases in 2015; however, even if it is only one, as long as my pen hits the paper or my fingertips brush the keys on a daily basis, I will be fulfilled.

In reflection, what I have learned is that it is important to find what you love and do it.  No matter how others perceive it.  No matter what odds are against you.  No matter how many obstacles are thrown in your path.  One cannot waste their life on passion.  Life is wasted only on the mundane and the meaningless; never on passionate endeavors.  For the pursuit of passion is never a failure.

If it fulfills you... if it is your dream...then chase after it and never, ever quit.   ~

One Resolution. One Choice. CHANGE.

2015 is to be a year of change.  That is my one and only resolution.  Change. 

Things in my life will change and the change will be for the better.  Here is what I will do to make this change happen:  

I will no longer be fake in order to protect other’s feelings while mine lie unprotected and stepped on.  I will no longer waste my time or concern on people who are only concerned with themselves.  I will not strive to keep peace when that very peace itself is a sham, a lie.  I will not keep people in my life who make me feel unappreciated, unimportant, forgotten and worthless.  I will protect my loved ones and I will expect that protection to be reciprocated in my time of need.  Otherwise, the relationship will be re-evaluated.  I will not apologize for who I am or for the fact that the little things in this existence matter most to me.  I will not feel bad about the fact that I am a creative and emotional being, who feels both overwhelming joy and crushing heartache.   I will not apologize for the things that I need… like the need to be heard, to be respected, to feel that my heart matters, that my feelings are relevant, that even my silliest request would be met with understanding…to be known and loved so deeply that I am cared for without having to verbalize those wants.  The simple fact is that if I am important to you than what is important to me is also important to you.  That is love.  When you love someone, you strive to show them, and for me love is best shown in the little things. Not lavish gifts, but in simply making me feel important to you. 

The latter half of 2014 was one of the darkest times for me and from the darkness new life has been birthed in the form of change.   Those who cannot love me in the little things will not be trusted with my heart in the big things.  Those to whom I don’t matter, will cease to matter to me and that will be determined by your track record, which speaks truth even though your lips lie.  For better is it to be alone, than to be made to feel worthless and "less than" at every turn.  There is a defining moment in everyone’s life… a moment when a choice must be made.  Live according to others or live according to yourself.   I have chosen happiness and in that choice comes the reality that I will cast from my life those that destroy my happiness, no matter what title they bear. 

2015 is a year of change and I will set the boundaries necessary to make those changes.  I will no longer demand to be heard, for those that love me will hear me and those that don’t are not worth my breath.   ~

Atypical is Fine By Me

I got up this morning feeling pretty good and then I made the mistake of checking my email, wherein I received a note from a woman who does not know me, personally, but only in the virtual realm.  In a nutshell, she blasted me about the fact that I enjoy celebrating Halloween.  Each year my husband and I throw a Halloween party and, I'll be honest, I look forward to it.  In fact, I LOVE it!  Fall is my favorite season and Halloween is one of my favorite holidays (second only to Christmas).  For me, Halloween is about costumes, cocktails and candy.  It's a time to be creative with decorations, to light hundreds of candles, to dress up and spend one evening a year hanging with friends and family in an atypical environment.

The woman who wrote to me didn't take any of that into consideration.  She only focused on the fact that I am a Christian and chose to cast judgment by writing:  "A Christian with a true heart for the Lord doesn't celebrate a pagan holiday because it offends the spirit of God that dwells inside every believer." 

The email was somewhat lengthy because she took the time to share with me why celebrating Halloween is "wrong."  I won't bore you with the details, as a quick Google search will provide plentiful information of its pagan origin.  I do, however, want to point out that in one simple sentence (the one I quoted above), this woman implied that I did not have a "true heart for the Lord" nor that the Spirit of God dwells inside of me.  Wow!  What happened to "Thou Shalt Not Judge?"

There was a time when I would have felt the need to defend my beliefs, but that time is gone.  I don't care what this woman or anyone in the so-called "church" thinks of me.  My "Christianity" is a private matter between me and God.  My love for Him and His for me is personal and cannot be held nor defined by stigma, rules or superficial expectations.  It is atypical and I like it that way.

So, to the woman who wrote to me I would say only this:  Tout your religion elsewhere...because my relationship with the Lord has nothing to do with religious regulations.  And shame on you for being a judgmental 'BeOtch.'  Can you not see that it is people like you that give Christianity a bad name? It is judgmental behavior like yours that causes people to run from God instead of toward Him?  If you don't feel that celebrating Halloween is "right" then don't celebrate it.  That's your choice and that's fine.  But, just because you have made a choice for your life does not mean you have the right to condemn those that have made a different choice for their life.  Christianity is about loving others, not about trying to convince others that your way is the right way and they should all agree with you. When will the typical church wake up and realize that true Christianity is nothing more than love at work in individual and often very private ways?  Touting signs, taping mouths, sending emails, condemnation and fear tactics, etc.... these drive a wedge and cause more damage than good.  Love is the key and love is the answer. 

As for Halloween...or any holiday for that matter... it is what you make it.  Halloween is only a pagan celebration if you honor it as such.  Just like Christmas can either be about Jesus's birth or about Santa Clause and presents.  Easter can be about Jesus's death and resurrection or about a large bunny who hides eggs.  Holidays mean what you make them mean.  There is no blanket judgment that fits all, nor should there be.  It's your heart, your focus, your life and no one has a right to speak into it...certainly not in the name of God.  If God has something to say to you, He'll say it on His own. 

BTW, I'm pretty sure there's nothing in the Bible against cocktails, costumes and candy...so, bring on the Halloween festivities; and if that makes me an atypical Christian, hallelujah!  There is no greater compliment in this day and age than to say I do not belong amid the "typical" Christians.  Atypical is fine by me.   ~ 







  

Re-Post on Why I Left Vanilla Heart Publishing

I have been asked to re-post this story about Vanilla Heart Publishing and their unethical business practices; so here it is.  If you are an author seeking a publisher or if you know of an author seeking representation, please read this and heed the warning.  Vanilla Heart is not the only small press publishing company guilty of these charges.  Do your homework before signing a contract with ANYONE.  Protect your rights and your work from scam artists and liars like Kimberlee Williams and Vanilla Heart Publishing.

In October 2010 I signed a contract with Vanilla Heart Publishing to publish my debut novel, No Easy Way, which was nominated for the 2010 Molly Award by the Heart of Denver Romance Writers. 

In August 2013, eight novels later, I terminated my relationship with Vanilla Heart Publishing on the grounds of a severe breach of contract, misrepresentation, fraud and theft pertaining specifically to Articles #5, #7, #10, and #11 of the contract.

During my stay at Vanilla Heart, I upheld my end of the agreement.  I continued to write novels, producing eight in less than three years.  I continued to submit my novels to Vanilla Heart first, as per our contract she was entitled to a thirty day right of first refusal on all Just Call Me Angel books.  I continued to blog, participate in blog tours, promote and market my work through book clubs, book signings, holding contests and networking via numerous social media outlets (Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Pinterest, Goodreads, Instagram, etc.)  In return for my loyalty, I was lied to, manipulated and used.

Upon confronting Vanilla Heart Publishing with the breach of contract, misrepresentation and fraudulent activity, I was given no apology for wrongdoing nor was there an admission of remorse whatsoever.  Instead, I was sent a list of termination items wherein it was stated that I was “not to discuss the Author’s Group or any information from that group, or discuss Vanilla Heart Publishing, nor speak as an agent or former agent of the publisher, either by verbal, written, or electronic communication with any persons, groups, or agents.” It goes without saying that I did not agree to this and, per the advice of my attorney, informed Vanilla Heart that all statements that are factual, unbiased and can be proven with subpoenaed records, email correspondence or any other written form of communication do not fall into the category of slander or libel and are allowable for discussion in any setting, person-to-person, blog, group format or social media.   

My attorney is now in the process of reviewing back royalty statements from all of the distribution channels and thus far the information I have received from Vanilla Heart Publishing does not come close to matching the real reports in number of books sold nor in amount of money owed.  I sit amazed at how I have been ripped off for almost three years.  It saddens and angers me.

I requested royalty statements from Vanilla Heart at least eight documented times since October 2010.  Every statement was falsified.  Every paycheck came months late.  I never even received a statement for 2012 from Vanilla Heart and the check I received doesn’t match the distributor’s royalty records for the quarterly periods during that time.  Each time I requested a statement or a check I was promised it and then given an excuse as to why it would be late.  The excuses ranged from severe medical issues to a gardening accident and countless laptop crashes, an accountant who allegedly printed the reports too small to be read and the post office that lost checks or statements along the way.  Every excuse added to the sour pit growing in my stomach.  Still, I wanted to believe that everything was on the up-and-up; but, over time,  there were just too many red flags.

Little did I know, but several of the Vanilla Heart authors were experiencing the same frustrations I was.  No statements.  Late checks.  Excuses galore.  The problem was, for a long time, none of us communicated with one another.  We didn’t compare notes and that’s exactly how Vanilla Heart wanted it.  Manipulative phone calls from the Publisher psychologically pitted one author against another.  “She’s the next one I’m getting rid of,” was said to me on several occasions, referring to fellow Vanilla Heart authors.  The Publisher made a point to let everyone know who was in her “Core Group” and who was not.  I was in the Core Group and I think that was one of the reasons it never dawned on me that she might be breaching our contract at all, much less in so many ways.  I was made to feel “special” as if we had more than just a business relationship…as if we were “friends.”  Friends don’t steal from or lie to friends, my mind would justify… but the red flags waved.

It wasn’t until two of the Core Group authors left within a short period of time that I mustered up the courage to start asking questions and digging deeper into what was going on.  I dug out every contract, read through every email, analyzed my notes from phone calls, etc.  Every hour spent researching deepened the pit in my stomach and leant proof to the revelation I didn’t want to face:  Vanilla Heart was guilty.

Guilty of copyright infringement.

Guilty of breach of contract.

Guilty of misrepresentation of intent.

Guilty of fraud.

Guilty of theft. 

On August 10, 2013 under the guidance of my attorney, a termination letter was sent to Vanilla Heart Publishing.  A complaint was filed with the Washington Attorney General’s Office and DCMA Take Down Notices and Perjury Statements sent to every distributor that carried my books under the Vanilla Heart imprint.  All books in all formats were pulled from the market.  The distributors worked quickly to make this right, as their policy is first and foremost to protect the intellectual property of the author. 

I want to give a shout out to the employees at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, All Romance Ebooks/OmniLit and Payloadz who were amazing in getting my attorney the information we needed (and I deserved) and in helping to protect my intellectual property rights going forward.  These people were absolutely amazing and I am grateful to all of them. 

My publisher used to call Amazon “Damazon” and always told me how slow and non-responsive they were.  That must have been a lie too…because after this experience, I would dub them “Amaz(ing)on.”

So, why am I writing this blog?  Because I feel a moral obligation to warn other writers who are as naïve as I was and can become easy prey.  The warning signs were there, but I didn’t see them…or I choose to look the other way.  Don’t make the same mistake I did.  

As an author, you deserve to have your books registered with the U.S. Copyright office.  You deserve a signed contract on every book.  You deserve to have timely statements and timely royalty payments and those statements and payments should match down to the penny.  You deserve a publisher who will protect your rights and who will not breach your contract.  You deserve a publisher who will conduct business in an ethical and moral manner, not hide behind excuses and outright lies.  You deserve better than Vanilla Heart Publishing.

In the past two months, seven authors have left Vanilla Heart… all of which were a part of the “Core Group.”  Some of us have found other publishers who have picked up our work.  I’ve signed with Global Publishing Group and my books will be back on the market in all formats by the end of the week. Others have decided to self-publish and still others are so shell-shocked they haven’t decided what to do.  What happened to us wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right, but we are all dedicated writers and will come out on top.

The moral of the story is:  Stay away from Vanilla Heart Publishing.

~