Social Networking Feels Like Stalking

One of my authors said to me, “I feel like I’m stalking people when I’m doing a social media marketing campaign.”   

“Yes!” I responded.  “That means you’re doing it right.”

Social networking is not stalking, though I understand how it can feel that way, (especially if you’re doing it right) because in implementing your target marketing approach, you often find yourself visiting and re-visiting the same pages.

Most people don’t understand how social networking really works and why it is so important in

building a fan base.  This is because we, as humans, are ME focused and we forget that to engage someone we must stop and think about what is important or relevant to them.  Thus, in networking we must target our efforts, partnering with those accounts that are similar in content to our own.

The benefit of social networking is that you increase the visibility of your product and yourself. 

What does it take to be a good social networker?  The willingness to put yourself out there (knowing a certain level of vulnerability comes with it), a lot of time and a commitment toward action.

 

VULNERABILITY

The simple fact is that you cannot have privacy AND be in the public eye. 

When you place yourself in the public eye, you must expect that a certain percentage of “weirdos” will emerge and be drawn to you.  This comes with the territory and if you can’t handle it, then don’t go public. 

My Facebook page is public because I am an author and the amount of books I sell is directly related to the amount of contact I make with the virtual universe.  I also run a publishing company and use social media to assist in marketing my author’s new releases. Thus, I “friend” just about anyone who requests my friendship, viewing every individual as a potential new contact, new reader and new fan.  I believe paths cross for a reason, even in the virtual world, and I can honestly tell you that I have made some very good friends over social media.  The risk is high at times and I have had moments where I have felt threatened, but those instances are few and far between.  The truth is that I have had way more positive experiences in social media than negative ones.

If I “friend” someone who then behaves inappropriately, i.e. posting porn or solicitations on my wall, commenting rude or explicit things, sending me nude pictures, etc., I simply block them and move on.   In putting myself out there publicly I am assuming responsibility for the fact that I may encounter some strange individuals and thereby accepting the culpability that it is my job to block them when needed.

It is no one else’s fault when a “weirdo” emerges. 

GROWTH TAKES TIME

Social networking takes time and effort because in order to grow your visibility, you have to help grow the visibility of others.  For me, those others exist primarily in the entertainment/literary realm.  

This is how it works:

 

Every time I go to an author, actor or artist’s page and “like” something, it shows up in the news feed of all of my “friends.”  This promotes that person’s page.  In addition, my name shows up in their post when I “like” it or comment on it, giving me visibility.  The hope is that those people will reciprocate the action by “liking” or commenting on one of my posts, thereby rendering that post visible to their “friends” in their news feed.  In essence, by “liking” and commenting on each other’s posts, we are connecting our “friend” base and over time, expanding it.

When people continue to see the same name popping up in their news feed, they are more likely to become curious and click on it.  In order to make the same name appear over and over, you must visit the same pages over and over and continue your efforts of "liking" and commenting.  It is a process and involves hundreds of clicks on your targeted sites every week.  

So, if you’ve ever felt like you were wasting time traversing your news feed and “liking” posts, you’re not…you’re actually helping grow your own visibility and the visibility of the people, places and projects you like.

TARGET YOUR NETWORKING EFFORTS

Liking everyone’s posts would be impossible, so it is important to target your social networking to the people and projects that are related to you and your work. 

For example, my daughter is an actress.  Therefore, when she is filming a particular project, I will target my networking efforts to that project and the people involved therein.  Anything that they post that is related to that particular project, I “like” or comment on.  Sometimes I will even “share” it to my own wall.  Or, if I really want to drive viewers to it, I will download the pictures or information they have posted and then post it on my wall as if it is a new post from me.  This feeds directly to my “friends” list as a post by me, not just a post I have “shared.”  Posts by you will statistically generate more interaction from those on your “friends” list than posts you have “shared.”

Commenting, liking and re-posting literally builds a network between you and the people you support.  In growing their visibility, you are expanding  your own.   But it doesn't happen overnight and it doesn't happen without the commitment to visit those targeted pages over and over and over again.

Doesn’t it behoove me to network with people who have more “friends” than me?  Absolutely.  Those with the most followers, fans, friends, etc. have the farthest reach in the virtual world.  If they “like” or comment on your posts, it can only help you; and you should definitely be “liking” and commenting on their posts. 

There is no marketing effort that is in vain.  Every time your name appears you are getting it out there.  The goal of social networking is to get people talking about you, your project, your product, your vision.  Thus, every action you take in this direction…every “like”…every comment…every “friend”… is a step in the right direction. 

 Remember, giant leaps begin with small steps.

Although constantly visiting the same pages over and over can feel a bit like stalking, it is important to realize that the difference lies in your reason for being there.  If you are visiting for promotional purposes and the opportunity to grow your base, you’re marketing.  If you are visiting for personal purposes to see what they did over the weekend, then you might be guilty of stalking. 

One author asked, “What if someone gets mad at me or thinks I’m strange for constantly commenting on or liking their posts?”

That’s their problem, not yours.  As long as your comments are polite and professional, there is nothing wrong with commenting or “liking.” 

There are some people who do not understand how social networking works and who will be prone to think that you are visiting their page with ulterior motives.  These people put themselves out there publicly and then pretend that they are victimized or harassed when their pages are frequently visited. They are narcissists who believe everyone wants them and everyone is stalking them.  Honestly, these people should not be in the public eye because they cannot handle it.    So, don’t worry about them.  If someone gets offended by the fact that you “like,” comment or re-post their posts, mark them off your list and move on.  Those who understand the value of social networking will not be offended by your actions.

Social networking is just that…networking.  It is building a network of people with common interests.  So, determine your target market and begin reaching out to those people today.   ~

Twelve Days Before Christmas Giveway

Today we are exactly Twelve days away from Christmas morning.  I love Christmas!  It makes me feel giddy, like a little kid who is bouncing off the walls with excitement.  I love waking up in the morning, making hot chocolate for the kids and coffee for me and my husband, sitting by the fire and watching our children dig into their gifts.  I love how their eyes light up when they've opened something they've been wanting and the reality hits them that they finally hold the coveted item in their hands.  It makes my heart smile.

In honor of the twelve day countdown to that blessed morning, I'm going to host my own Twelve Days of Christmas Giveaway (sponsored by Global Publishing Group).  Prizes will be copies of my books and of books from other GPG authors.

Here's how it works... I'll post the giveaway and the first person to email me, gets the free item!  Each blog will go live at 8:00am MST (that's 7:00am for you West Coasters, 9:00am for you Mid-Westerners and 10:00am for my East Coast friends.)

Email me with the subject line:  Twelve Days

 

Email me by clicking HERE

Let's begin:  Sing with me....though I'm going to have to change up the lyrics a bit...

On the twelfth day before Christmas an author gave to me

A free copy of Petals of Blood

 

 

 

Slamming Doors and Opening Windows

I've received a bunch of emails regarding what happened between me and Vanilla Heart Publishing.  I'm going to try to answer most of your questions in this blog.  If I don't answer thoroughly enough, let me know and I will email you privately. 

I'm not going to lie, the past few weeks have been difficult, but you know what they say, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  I don't know if I'm stronger yet, but I'm certainly on the road to becoming smarter.

Change is always hard and uncertainty is scary...put the two together and you have a variable pressure cooker of emotion.  I have bounced daily between anger and sadness.  I'm angry at myself for being naïve and stupid.  I'm angry at Vanilla Heart for being deceptive, breaching our contract and cheating me out of royalties that were rightfully mine.  But the anger isn't the part that overwhelms me.  It's the sadness. 



I feel sad because I thought I knew someone and I thought she knew me.  I believed in her, trusted her, prayed for her, prayed for her family, defended her and always tried to be supportive and encouraging.  There were many times when I felt that support was reciprocated.  There were many times when I felt like we were "friends."  I feel sad because I miss that feeling; though I realize now it was all a façade.

We've all heard the expression, "It's not personal, it's business."  But, what is more personal than your business...especially when that business entails relationships with other people (?)  Just because you're dealing in the business world doesn't mean you stop having personal feelings for those around you.  In my world there aren't business ethics and personal ethics, there are just plain ethics and they apply to everything in life.  Don't cheat.  Don't lie.  Don't steal.  Be kind.  Love God.  Love others.  Forgive.

Sure, the context of our relationship was business but when every excuse she gave was personal, how was one not to feel some sort of connection?

Hearts break in different ways.  Betrayal leaves me broken and injustice makes me angry.  Vanilla Heart has caused me to stare down the barrel of both and to try to reconcile these feelings against a foundation of truth that was one-sided all along.  That reconciliation seems impossible, especially to a person like me who tries desperately to understand why people behave the way they do.

To this day, Vanilla Heart has shown no remorse for wrongdoing and that is one of the most jagged little pills to swallow.  I'm someone who apologizes for everything and tries to fix anything I've done wrong...even if it wasn't intentional; so I just can't get my head around people who maliciously set out to steal from, deceive and hurt others.  This part of the whole thing probably taunts me the most.

I think I've answered all of the questions about my relationship with Vanilla Heart.  As for the questions about Small Press Publishers in general...let me first say this:  All small press publishers are not unethical.  In fact, there are some wonderful publishing companies out there, some great agents and incredible people in the literary world.  Please don't let my negative experience with Vanilla Heart taint your view of the industry.  It hasn't tainted mine.  Scam artists dwell in every industry.  What we have to do is learn to spot them and avoid them.   My hope is that other authors will learn from my experience and be saved the hassle and heartache that I, and the other ex-Vanilla Heart authors have gone through.

The bottom line is that life isn't fair, but when you have to close a door or a door slams shut in your face,  look around and find the window of opportunity.  There will always be one, but it's not going to open itself.  Muster up the courage to walk over to it and open it; and then climb through, dust yourself off and be determined, as I am, to tackle whatever challenges lie on the horizon. 

Had I stayed with Vanilla Heart I wouldn't have been offered an opportunity to learn the publishing side of things with Global Publishing Group.  Had I remained naïve and comfortable, I wouldn't have ever known how many sales and how much money my books were generating.  Had I not gotten my heart broken with the lies, I would never have been given the chance to appreciate those who were telling me the truth. 

To answer the final question:  "What am I going to do now?"  I'm going to get back to doing what I love... writing more books. ~

 

 

Summer Writing Contest

Vanilla Heart Publishing is offering a 2013 summer contest and the winner gets their book published.   If you're a writer who has been seeking a publisher, this is a wonderful opportunity to submit your work. 

Visit the website today for submission guidelines.  Just click on the picture below.

 

 

Or, you can copy and paste the following link into your browser:

http://www.vanillaheartbooksandauthors.com/2013_Summer_Contest.html

 

Good luck!  :)

Welcome to my Friday the 13th Blog Hop Stop

Friday the 13th is all about FEAR.  At least it has been since the debut of the first Friday the 13th movie in 1980 when Jason and his hockey mask scared the crap out of every teenager in America. 

The only other movie to rival its lasting ramifications of fear-scarred adolescents was the debut of Jaws in 1975.  I was five when Jaws hit the theatres and was afraid to take a bath or swim in a pool for years.  I'd like to tell you I've overcome this fear, but even as an adult, I dare not dip a toe into the ocean without hearing that chilling, shark-approaching music in my head.

Duh-dun, duh-Dun, duh-DUn, duH-DUN, dUH-DUN.... faster and faster and louder and louder the music grows until panic grips me.

One year, while in the Bahamas, my husband and I took a Catamaran on a snorkeling expedition.  The boat was anchored in what I call the middle of the ocean, as there was no land to be seen.  The captain explained we would be snorkeling around a reef area known for it's beautiful coral and fish.  Every passenger was given fins, a snorkle and a mask and once we were all adorned in our gear, we lined up to descend the stairs and submerge ourselves into the beautiful, clear blue water.  My husband was in front of me and he gleefully plopped into the water and started looking for fish. I tentatively lowered myself into the ocean only to feel my chest tighten, my throat go dry and my breathing quicken until I sounded like Darth Vader through the snorkle tube.  Suddenly feeling like a floating appetizer for any shark that might be passing by, I shreiked aloud, thrashed my way back to the ladder and climbed over the fifteen people still on the staircase, trambling them with my big black fins.

This was not one of my prouder moments.  When I got to the top of the ladder, the last woman in line shook me by my shoulders and with wide-eyed concern, yelled, "What did you see?!"

I dropped my head in utter humiliation as I admitted to her I had seen nothing.  "I panicked," I sighed.

After I had stripped off my gear the Captain approached with a smirk and a island drink.  "Dis is for you," he said in his Bahamian accent.  "We call it da chicken drink."

I laughed, knowing there was no way to deny I was a chicken and deserving of the chicken drink.  "I'm afraid of sharks," I sheepishly smiled.

"I see dat," he grinned ear-to-ear.  "We all see dat."

We all experience fear.  Sometimes it's rational and sometimes, well, it's not.  It can be humiliating, frustrating and downright comical, but I think the important thing is that we learn to find the silver lining within even our greatest fears.  For me, I may not get to swim in the ocean, but I get to sit on the boat, enjoy a cocktail and look at the beautiful water.  Overcoming our fears sometimes means just being smart enough to remove ourselves from their chilling grip.

As a thank you for visiting my blog today and participating in the Friday the 13th Blog Hop, I'd like to send you a free download of one of my books.  You can download it in any form you like (kindle, nook, kobe, ipad, sony, .pdf, etc.).  All you have to do is write in the comment section below and tell me which book you would like to receive.  All my books are listed in the sidebar where you can watch the video trailers and decide which looks most interesting to you.




Thanks for dropping by and don't forget to Hop to the next Blog Stop and enter for a chance to win a FREE Kindle!

Write a comment in my comment section and then click on the picture below to automatically advance to the next HOT Bog HOP Stop!

The Hop STARTS at http://briclarkthebelleofboise.blogspot.com

 and she will display the link to the next stop in the Hop in her post.  Each blogger will do the same, so you'll be visiting every link in the Hop's chain. If that host is offering a giveaway on his/her blog, go ahead and enter to win their contest.  Tell your friends!