Life is Funny and Funny has FUN in it!

OMG!  People!  Lighten Up!

Comedy exists to bring pleasure and release, not to force deep contemplation or discussion about humanity and the society therein which we dwell.  Can’t funny just be funny?  Why is everyone so damn serious all of the time?  I don’t want to go off on a rant here…but…

I posted a video excerpt on my Facebook page from the television show, 3^rd Rock from the Sun.  It’s a comedic look at voting.  After that post, I got emails asking me why I would struggle to vote this year and many telling me who was the “right” candidate for America.  Are you kidding me?  Can't you put your stupid, political opinion aside for ten seconds and just enjoy the humor of a sitcom?!

Then, I posted a clip from the game show, Family Feud, with Steve Harvey, who I think is quite amusing.  The question in the clip is:  Fill in the blank, as a married man I would _____ for sex.  The first guy hits his buzzer and blurts, “Pay!”  Steve Harvey’s expression is priceless, as it is when the other answers emerge.  Lie.  Beg.  Kill.  Die.   You can watch the clip here:  https://www.facebook.com/susan.claridge/posts/10209758709220354?pnref=story 

I posted that what I found most amusing was that two of the women answered with “cook” and “clean.”  These are obviously wrong answers for the show…but I teasingly remarked that if men would merely cook and clean more often they would never HAVE to pay, lie, beg, kill or die for sex.

Multiple emails filled my box with people who were offended by this post.   They wanted to know how I could condone a married man paying for sex.  Another person wanted to know why I thought it was okay for a man to lie in order to get laid.  One person asked why I thought it was acceptable for a woman to expect a man to have to cook and clean in order to get sex.  Unbelievable.  A fourth wanted to know why married people would want to hire prostitutes in the first place.

People… people…breathe.  I simply posted a clip I thought was amusing.  It’s spoofing the fact that sex is so important to a man that he will do just about anything to get it.  It’s supposed to be fun, lighthearted, funny.  There is no deeper, hidden meaning.  Steve Harvey isn’t saying that married men should pay, beg, lie, kill or die for sex.

Chill out already!  Don’t be so frigid in your thinking that you can no longer appreciate humor.  Comedians joke about sex all the time… because, well, the dichotomy of the male versus female sexual outlook can be funny.  And married women, maybe if you “put out” a little more, the jokes wouldn’t hit so close to home, and you wouldn’t get so upset about it.  And married men, maybe you would get more action in the bedroom if you took more action in the kitchen.  I’m jus’ sayin.’

I’m so tired of all of this ultra-diplomacy, where we can’t call a spade a spade because we fear that someone, somewhere might get their panties in a wad.  Well, wad those suckers up …or better yet, rip ‘em off and go commando.  Enjoy life.  Embrace comedy.  

If we lose our sense of humor, there is nothing left.  And dare I say it, but if you have lost your sense of humor maybe it signifies that you're not getting laid often enough!  

The reality is, none of us get out of this living thing alive and we’ve only got one shot…so enjoy it.  Love deep.  Laugh hard.  Be healthy.  Be kind to yourself and others.  Make a fool of yourself now and again. Be respectful and gracious and honest.  Have a drink on occasion.  Try new things.  Be courageous.  Be hospitable.  Pray.  Learn from your mistakes.  Forgive.  Apologize when it’s your fault.  Listen to all kinds of music.  Be kind to animals.  Dream big.  And get laid a lot.  (I didn't say pay for it or lie or beg or kill or die for it.)  The point is, the only things you'll look back and regret are those chances you didn't take...the stolen kiss you turned away from...the moment you let pass you by and the opportunity you let slip away because you feared what others might think about you. 

Don't be frigid in the way you think, live and love. Be true.  Let go of the labels and let yourself laugh at the humor in it all. 

Whatever you do…whoever you are…don’t take life so seriously that you miss out on the comedy that is all around you.  Life is funny and funny has the word FUN in it.  I don’t think that’s a coincidence.   ~

Fast Lane Confessions

During a recent interview I was asked an interesting question:  “If someone were to write a book about your life, what would it be titled?”  The answer instantly popped into my head.   It would be called, Fast Lane.

 

It all started when I was a child.  I would run everywhere.  I would dash down the hallways so fast I’d run into people and hurt them.  My mom often winced in pain, hollering at me to slow down, after I had inadvertently crashed into her.   I ate fast, danced fast, played fast, ran fast, prayed fast, drove fast and grew up way too fast. 

I was always in a hurry, always rushing toward the next adventure, antsy for excitement and wanting to experience everything life had to offer; no matter the risk. Danger was less scary than boredom.  I was never a sit-in-front-of-the-television-all-night type of girl.  I wanted to party.  I wanted to smoke it, snort it, toke it, foil it, bong it, bang it, crack it, taunt it, tease it, tempt it, taste it, make it and ultimately squeeze every last juice out of life.

Looking back at my youth, I did just that.  I wrapped my arms around life and squeezed it as hard as I could.  My zeal certainly led me down some unsavory paths; but damn, did I have fun!  I made mistakes and there are skeletons in my closet I wish I hadn’t put there; but the good memories far outweigh the bad. 

Whether I was driving across the country all by myself in the middle of the night, bungee jumping at the VP Fair, flashing my tits in New Orleans to earn some beads, snorting lines at a Hall & Oates concert, going to a nudist colony in Malibu, kissing another woman, dancing erotically in Hong Kong, having sex in a bull dozer or on the big M in the middle of Faurot Field…. I was living in the fast lane, with the crisp, cool wind in my hair and the moonlight reflecting wildly in my eyes.  I was alive.

Now, as I learn to embrace my forties, I often fight my body’s urge to enter the slow lane; but not my spirit.  I still want to party like a rock star, jump from a plane, dance wildly, have a lot of sex and every so often, go a little crazy.  I want to laugh harder, act sillier, love deeper, be less afraid, be more open, more willing, sweeter, kinder, more passionate and embrace life in a way I’ve yet to imagine. 

 

The way I see it, my youth was simply a training ground and life in the Fast Lane is just beginning.  ~