Life is Funny and Funny has FUN in it!

OMG!  People!  Lighten Up!

Comedy exists to bring pleasure and release, not to force deep contemplation or discussion about humanity and the society therein which we dwell.  Can’t funny just be funny?  Why is everyone so damn serious all of the time?  I don’t want to go off on a rant here…but…

I posted a video excerpt on my Facebook page from the television show, 3^rd Rock from the Sun.  It’s a comedic look at voting.  After that post, I got emails asking me why I would struggle to vote this year and many telling me who was the “right” candidate for America.  Are you kidding me?  Can't you put your stupid, political opinion aside for ten seconds and just enjoy the humor of a sitcom?!

Then, I posted a clip from the game show, Family Feud, with Steve Harvey, who I think is quite amusing.  The question in the clip is:  Fill in the blank, as a married man I would _____ for sex.  The first guy hits his buzzer and blurts, “Pay!”  Steve Harvey’s expression is priceless, as it is when the other answers emerge.  Lie.  Beg.  Kill.  Die.   You can watch the clip here:  https://www.facebook.com/susan.claridge/posts/10209758709220354?pnref=story 

I posted that what I found most amusing was that two of the women answered with “cook” and “clean.”  These are obviously wrong answers for the show…but I teasingly remarked that if men would merely cook and clean more often they would never HAVE to pay, lie, beg, kill or die for sex.

Multiple emails filled my box with people who were offended by this post.   They wanted to know how I could condone a married man paying for sex.  Another person wanted to know why I thought it was okay for a man to lie in order to get laid.  One person asked why I thought it was acceptable for a woman to expect a man to have to cook and clean in order to get sex.  Unbelievable.  A fourth wanted to know why married people would want to hire prostitutes in the first place.

People… people…breathe.  I simply posted a clip I thought was amusing.  It’s spoofing the fact that sex is so important to a man that he will do just about anything to get it.  It’s supposed to be fun, lighthearted, funny.  There is no deeper, hidden meaning.  Steve Harvey isn’t saying that married men should pay, beg, lie, kill or die for sex.

Chill out already!  Don’t be so frigid in your thinking that you can no longer appreciate humor.  Comedians joke about sex all the time… because, well, the dichotomy of the male versus female sexual outlook can be funny.  And married women, maybe if you “put out” a little more, the jokes wouldn’t hit so close to home, and you wouldn’t get so upset about it.  And married men, maybe you would get more action in the bedroom if you took more action in the kitchen.  I’m jus’ sayin.’

I’m so tired of all of this ultra-diplomacy, where we can’t call a spade a spade because we fear that someone, somewhere might get their panties in a wad.  Well, wad those suckers up …or better yet, rip ‘em off and go commando.  Enjoy life.  Embrace comedy.  

If we lose our sense of humor, there is nothing left.  And dare I say it, but if you have lost your sense of humor maybe it signifies that you're not getting laid often enough!  

The reality is, none of us get out of this living thing alive and we’ve only got one shot…so enjoy it.  Love deep.  Laugh hard.  Be healthy.  Be kind to yourself and others.  Make a fool of yourself now and again. Be respectful and gracious and honest.  Have a drink on occasion.  Try new things.  Be courageous.  Be hospitable.  Pray.  Learn from your mistakes.  Forgive.  Apologize when it’s your fault.  Listen to all kinds of music.  Be kind to animals.  Dream big.  And get laid a lot.  (I didn't say pay for it or lie or beg or kill or die for it.)  The point is, the only things you'll look back and regret are those chances you didn't take...the stolen kiss you turned away from...the moment you let pass you by and the opportunity you let slip away because you feared what others might think about you. 

Don't be frigid in the way you think, live and love. Be true.  Let go of the labels and let yourself laugh at the humor in it all. 

Whatever you do…whoever you are…don’t take life so seriously that you miss out on the comedy that is all around you.  Life is funny and funny has the word FUN in it.  I don’t think that’s a coincidence.   ~

Make Spring Break Suspenseful

The Candy Shop has been selling like crazy and I'm very excited!  Thank you to all of my readers and please remember to write a review and post it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords or wherever you ordered your copy.

If you haven't read it yet, pick it up or download it today.  It's a great way to add a little suspense to your Spring Break!  :)

"One decision can change everything."

AMAZON

BARNES & NOBLE

SMASHWORDS

Mean Girls: They're Real and They're NOT Spectacular!

My children attend a Charter school and they love it.  It’s a great school and we are very happy with the school’s leadership, teaching staff, academic structure, etc.  It is a building packed with positive people, innovative thinking, strong values, moral fiber, a genuine sense of happiness and a down-to-earth feel. 

Then… enter the eleven year old girls who think they are God’s gift to the school…and there goes the positive atmosphere.  They’ve come to rule the school and not in an uplifting manner.  They call other students names, such as “stupid,” and “fat,” and “loser.”  They have also been heard calling other female students a “bitch,” and a “dork.”  They backstab and blatantly lie, all the while plastering on a feigning smile of innocence in front of their teachers. 

There are four of them in the six grade class and they are exactly like the “mean girls” you see in movies and think, that doesn’t really happen in schools, right?  Surely, it’s just a cinematic exaggeration for the sake of entertainment.  Nope.  They’re real and they’re NOT spectacular.  (Fellow Seinfeld fans will get that last remark.)

When one of these girls was confronted and asked why she says mean things about others, she said, “That’s just how I handle stuff.  You can’t change me.”  

 

Being mean is how you “handle stuff”?!?  WTF!  Who taught you that?

Another girl said, “Being popular means I don’t have to hang around the fat losers if I don’t want to.”

“Fat Losers.”  I don’t know about you, but that statement stirs in me an intense desire to kick the crap out of the person who used this terminology.  Now, I know what you’re thinking…. “Susan, they’re just kids and you can’t go around smacking all of the mean kids in the world.”  True.  (Though, at times, I wish I could!)

My daughter has come home in tears, begged not to go to school and pretended to be sick so she wouldn't have to go to school and face the fact that these four girls are saying mean things behind her back and, at times, to her face.  It is heartbreaking. 

I can't go smack them all, but what I can do is analyze where they learn this behavior and I believe that trail leads me straight to their parents.  Now, are parents responsible for every poor choice their child makes?  No.  Kids are going to make mistakes, some of which parents will be entirely unaware.  I get that.  My kids mess up too.  Growing up is all about learning.  BUT, respecting others is a lesson that should be taught at home.  Being kind to others is a lesson that should be reinforced in the home.  Saying something mean one time out of anger or frustration can be expected, but a consistent behavior pattern of degrading others does not fall under “normal adolescent behavior;” or at least it shouldn’t and it doesn’t in our home.

Parents….listen to what is coming out of your kid’s mouth.  If it’s spiteful, hateful, poking fun at others and mean… DO SOMETHING!

 

Anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I’m not in contention for mother-of-the-year.  In fact, I’m far from it.  However, I have taught my children that they don’t have to like everyone, but they have to show everyone kindness.  They don’t have to be friends with everyone, but they do have to be friendly and courteous.  They don’t have to be “into” what others are into, but they have to respect what is important to others and not make fun of them. 

God made each us different, unique and individual so that life would not be stagnant and boring. We come in all different shapes, sizes and colors, none of which should be used against us to support hateful labels like “fat loser” or “stupid dork.” 

Meanness is a spirit of hate and it should not be welcome in our hearts, our schools or our homes.  If it is not stopped in adolescence, it will only get worse.  ~

   

 

   

Summertime Mommy Monster Syndrome

Being a writer and a mom isn’t always easy, but it’s particularly hard in the summer, when school is out.  During the summer, moms wear their normal hats of parent, teacher, counselor, playmate, entertainer, nurse, prayer warrior, taxi driver, cheerleader, chef, maid, butler and nanny… the only difference is that we wear these hats 24/7.  When school is out, mom gets no break.  Between baseball practices and games, swimming, rehearsals, plays, sleepovers, movies, vacations, etc., there is little time to think, much less to write.  Any creative person will tell you that if unable to express their creativity it begins to back up inside of them, and like a clogged hose, will eventually result in an explosion of epic proportion.  When I have a story that is dying to get out and I don’t have the time to write it, I begin to feel frustrated.  If the frustration lasts several days it morphs into resentment toward everything and everyone inhibiting my ability to sit down in peace and write.  In me, resentment manifests itself as crabbiness and a severe lack of patience.  If this continues, my family begins to suffer because Mommy has now become a miserable monster…if you don’t believe me, just ask my husband and children.   

The good news is that I have found ways to avoid the Summertime Mommy Monster Syndrome.  It isn’t fool-proof, but these things have helped  me to continue to write even when the kids are home, despite their many activities and the constant interruptions. (i.e. “Mom, look!” … “Mom, come here!”…. “Mom, where’s my glove?”…. “Mom, look!”…. “Mom, watch this!”…. “Mom!  MOm!  MOM!”… Oh, and did I mention, “Mom, look!”)

1.      I write late at night after the kids are in bed.  Yes, it means I spend the next day tired, but that’s nothing an extra pot of coffee or a couple Five Hour Energy drinks can’t solve.

2.      I write very early in the morning before the kids awaken.  Again, it can leave me groggy, but it’s well worth the sacrifice of slumber.

3.      I take my laptop to practices and rehearsals and write in the bleachers, in the theatre or in my car.  (purchase one of those plug adapters so you can plug your computer into your cigarette lighter)

4.      When the kids are watching television or being loud, I plug my headphones into my computer so I cannot hear them; thus I am able to concentrate on what I am writing.

5.      When I do suffer from Summertime Mommy Monster Syndrome, I have a martini or a margarita and a good cry.  It releases the frustration I feel, renews my spirit and helps me regain my focus and provides motivation for me to tackle another day.

Summertime is a needed break for kids and they deserve our fullest attention; however, in giving them our fullest we mustn’t forget to take care of ourselves too.  After all, when we’re not at our best we can’t give them our best.  As demanding as being a mom is, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.  J