Drooping Eyelids

Don’t you hate it when you can’t keep your eyes open?  Literally!  I was driving my son to practice and my daughter to rehearsal and my eyes wanted to roll back in my head while I was behind the wheel.  Upon arriving back home, I brewed a full pot of coffee and began slurping it down; so picking up the kids after their activities would be a safer drive…and it was.  Thank God for coffee!

There’s nothing scarier than the prospect of crashing with your kids in the car. 

I remember one time I actually fell asleep behind the wheel.  My children were little and we had recently moved to Kansas City.  I was experiencing post-partum depression and was medicated, not to mention I was exhausted from the move.  It was around three o’clock and the afternoon sun was bright and hot.  I was on my way home from the grocery store; and both kids were strapped into their car seats in the back of my suburban.  I turned onto a four lane street with a large, grassy median and the sun shone directly into my eyes. I blinked slowly and tried to keep my eyelids from drooping further.  The next thing I remember, the driver’s side tires were up over the median and I was heading for a tree.  I jolted awake and yanked the wheel to the right, missing the tree and sending my car back into the street. Thankfully, there were no other cars on the road at the time.  My heart was racing with adrenaline infused fear, as I glanced back at my kids.  They were sleeping peacefully, just like I had been a split second earlier.

I don't know what jolted me awake in the nick of time, but I give credit to God, who probably sent my guardian angel to shake me back to coherency.  It took me several weeks before I trusted myself to drive with the kids in the car again.  To say the experience shook me, is putting it lightly.  I was horrified.  It made me realize how quickly an accident can happen and that in one moment life can be snatched away. 

The moral of the story is.... I don't feel bad about my coffee addiction.  The way I see it, it just might save my life.  ~

Baby Love

 There are moments when I look at myself in the mirror and wish I was twenty-nine again.  Oh, to have a flat stomach; one without c-section scars and the extra layer of flesh that rounds me out.  But then, I gaze at my kids and think, the scars and the extra pounds were more than worth it.  Babies change your body in ways that...well, let's just say, that aren't flattering.  BUT, babies change your heart, mind and soul in ways that are awe inspiring.

There's just something magical about the bond of mother and child... something that makes every sacrifice well worthwhile, even the extra bulge.

I may not look as good at the pool, but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.  :)

 

 

Summertime Mommy Monster Syndrome

Being a writer and a mom isn’t always easy, but it’s particularly hard in the summer, when school is out.  During the summer, moms wear their normal hats of parent, teacher, counselor, playmate, entertainer, nurse, prayer warrior, taxi driver, cheerleader, chef, maid, butler and nanny… the only difference is that we wear these hats 24/7.  When school is out, mom gets no break.  Between baseball practices and games, swimming, rehearsals, plays, sleepovers, movies, vacations, etc., there is little time to think, much less to write.  Any creative person will tell you that if unable to express their creativity it begins to back up inside of them, and like a clogged hose, will eventually result in an explosion of epic proportion.  When I have a story that is dying to get out and I don’t have the time to write it, I begin to feel frustrated.  If the frustration lasts several days it morphs into resentment toward everything and everyone inhibiting my ability to sit down in peace and write.  In me, resentment manifests itself as crabbiness and a severe lack of patience.  If this continues, my family begins to suffer because Mommy has now become a miserable monster…if you don’t believe me, just ask my husband and children.   

The good news is that I have found ways to avoid the Summertime Mommy Monster Syndrome.  It isn’t fool-proof, but these things have helped  me to continue to write even when the kids are home, despite their many activities and the constant interruptions. (i.e. “Mom, look!” … “Mom, come here!”…. “Mom, where’s my glove?”…. “Mom, look!”…. “Mom, watch this!”…. “Mom!  MOm!  MOM!”… Oh, and did I mention, “Mom, look!”)

1.      I write late at night after the kids are in bed.  Yes, it means I spend the next day tired, but that’s nothing an extra pot of coffee or a couple Five Hour Energy drinks can’t solve.

2.      I write very early in the morning before the kids awaken.  Again, it can leave me groggy, but it’s well worth the sacrifice of slumber.

3.      I take my laptop to practices and rehearsals and write in the bleachers, in the theatre or in my car.  (purchase one of those plug adapters so you can plug your computer into your cigarette lighter)

4.      When the kids are watching television or being loud, I plug my headphones into my computer so I cannot hear them; thus I am able to concentrate on what I am writing.

5.      When I do suffer from Summertime Mommy Monster Syndrome, I have a martini or a margarita and a good cry.  It releases the frustration I feel, renews my spirit and helps me regain my focus and provides motivation for me to tackle another day.

Summertime is a needed break for kids and they deserve our fullest attention; however, in giving them our fullest we mustn’t forget to take care of ourselves too.  After all, when we’re not at our best we can’t give them our best.  As demanding as being a mom is, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.  J