Email From Hell

Getting an email address correct can be life altering...if not for you, for someone you may not even know...

 

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of their hectic lifestyle, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, while his wife planned to fly down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a Baptist minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed  and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

 

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I've Arrived

Date: March 2, 2013

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in.

I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P. S. Sure is hot down  here!!!

DaD

I’ve been blessed with wonderful parents, both of whom I deeply admire.  I wrote about my Mom on a Mother’s Day blog and now that Father’s Day has rolled around, I’d like to take a moment to tell you about my Dad.   

My dad’s name is Gary and he is a man of many talents.  He has two true loves:  my Mother and baseball.  Since he was a small child, my dad has been playing baseball and fully believes that baseball is a game that is meant to be played every day.  As a lefty, he was a star player on his little league team and went on to shine through high school ball and into college.  He played for the Missouri Tigers Baseball team in the early 1960’s when they went to the World Series every year and won several state championships.  Much to many people’s surprise, instead of accepting a recruitment offer from a minor league team, my Dad decided to finish Veterinary school; but his love of baseball remained.

 

Taking a sabbatical from baseball, Gary and his wife started a family, bought a home in St. Louis,
began a Veterinary Practice and opened a frozen custard restaurant; but baseball beckoned him.  He finally answered the call by becoming a batting practice pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals, a position he has held for the past thirty years… a position that has enabled him to talk baseball and rub elbows with some of the most talented players to ever take the field.   He even got to meet actor Tom Selleck when he was shooting the movie, Mr. Baseball, in which a scene was shot at Busch Stadium in St. Louis.  In 2008, he was inducted into the St. Louis Baseball Hall of Fame.

My Dad has many accolades; more than one blog can cover.  Hailed as one of the best veterinary

surgeons in the state, there were countless clients sad to see my Dad retire.  A model/actor, who has filmed several commercials and feature films, i.e. Up in the Air with George Clooney.  A  Business Owner.  Veterinarian.  Pitcher.  Hunter. Coach.  Wine Enthusiast.  The list goes on and on; but those aren’t his most valuable assets. 

He’s one of the most giving people you’ll ever meet.  He’ll go out of his way to help anyone. If you were to define going the extra mile, his picture would be definition enough.  He loves deeply and puts that love into constant action, especially with his wife, his kids and his grandkids.  To them, he’s Papa (pronounced Paw-Paw) and he’s the best Papa in the world.

He’s comical, creative, smart, athletic and offers great advice.  In the face of something troubling, he’ll tell you not to worry because “you’ll get your ticket when you get to the station.”  And he’s right.  In the hour of despair he’ll remind you not to “sweat the small stuff, and that it’s all small stuff.”   And when you think you won’t recover from an embarrassing moment, he’s there to put it all in perspective with the words, “millions of Chinese don’t know and don’t give a damn.”

If I’ve learned anything from my Dad, and I’ve learned a lot…it would be that family matters, blood is thicker than water, and God isn’t always found in a church building; but rather in the one-on-one walks with Him through the woods, the fields and on the mountain tops.   

 

 

The bottom line is, my Dad rocks and I'm blessed to have him in my life.  Happy Father's Day, Dad.  I love you.  ~

 

Make It, Don't Fake It

I receive a lot of email wherein people voice their opinion of my books or my blogs or they simply want to share something they’ve experienced.  I love these emails.  I love that people feel that they can vent or open up to me, and that my blog is a safe haven for their questions.  Sure, every so often I get an email that is less than kind, but those are few and far between.  Most of the time, people simply want to be heard.

This is why I love receiving emails from people who feel they can “talk” to me, even virtually.  I can’t always answer their questions, but I always read what they’ve written and I always respond.

Here’s a section of one I want to share:

My husband and I have been together for almost four years and we love each other very much, but the problem is we don’t ever talk about sex and it isn’t very good.  I don’t know how to tell him I’ve been faking it all this time and then taking care of myself on the side.  He’s against masturbation and would probably be really hurt if he knew.  Besides, he thinks he’s really good in bed because I’ve made him think so.  I guess you could say I know how to make it look real and now I don’t know what to do.  I’m afraid he’ll leave me if I tell him the truth.

This is a sticky situation, but you’d be surprised how many women share this same story.

Men and women alike want to be considered good lovers.  We all want to be able to turn-on our partner, to stimulate them, taunt them a little and ultimately drive them into the orgasmic throes of euphoric bliss.  But the reality is, few are able to do this without open communication and teaching one another the seductive secrets of their bodies.

It is easier for most men to achieve orgasm than it is for most women.  Duh, right?!

What this translates to is that the man is going to have to work harder to please his woman; and the woman is going to have to communicate her needs to her man.  If she is shy or if the couple has never talked about sex, this can be extremely difficult.

Women fake orgasm for a number of reasons.  First, they want their man to feel good about himself.  They believe that for the experience to bring them closer together, they need to bolster his ego.  Second, because they believe if they pant and scream, it will be a more erotic experience, one he will never want to risk leaving or losing.  Third, because sometimes she’s tired and just wants to go to sleep already.

Whatever the reason, faking can eventually drive a wedge between the man and woman.  It can cause the woman to harbor negative emotions toward sex and toward her husband; which isn’t really fair to him, since he’s clueless, having no idea she’s been faking all along.

Is this fixable?  Absolutely.  Does it have to involve a difficult conversation where you shatter his ego by telling him you’ve been faking?   No.  It can be done gently and in a very fun way. 

Open a bottle of wine and light some candles, or whatever you do to set the mood.  Buy yourself some sex dice or make your own, and let the lesson begin.  The key here is to not let him know he’s being taught something...simply let him think you’ve arranged a night of erotica.  Every time the dice is rolled, you tell each other how or where you like to be touched.  The rule of the evening is “ladies first” and he doesn’t get to climax until after you.  Dig out those sex toys, or whatever you’ve been hiding and using on yourself and let him use them.  He doesn’t need to know you’ve been using them on yourself…let him think this is all part of the special evening.  (I’m not saying you should blatantly lie about it… I’m just saying you shouldn’t offer up the information right now.  Maybe you can tell him later.)  Only groan, moan, pant or yelp when he does something right…something that inches you closer to bliss; and use your hands to direct his to the right place, the right speed, the right pressure.  Believe me, he’ll follow your cues, because most men have a desire to please their woman.   He loves you and he wants to be everything you need and want in bed.  Trembling in his arms for “real” will be an experience unlike any other, and one you both deserve to share.

When it’s over and he remarks that it’s never been like this before… simply smile and say, “I want it like this every time.”  He'll log it into his memory banks and your sex life will have been changed for good.

Good sex is a learned skill, and satisfying a woman is no easy task; but most men are up for the job.  So… don’t fake it… because in doing so, you’re not doing your marriage, him or yourself any long term good. 

Show him how to make it so you never have to fake it again.

The F Word Can Save Your Marriage