An "Action of Love" ...Not Really

I often wonder what travels through the minds of people.  I'm sure others wonder this about me as well.  It's human nature to be curious and to seek understanding.  I also wonder how it is that some people can so easily judge under the guise of "love."  How they can put so much time and effort into something that, when that time and effort is stripped away, is nothing more than a foundation of judgment, hidden in what is supposed to be seen as an action of love.  How is it that they believe it is their job or their right to take this action...even if it came from a place of love...Judgment rolled in love is still judgment.  Condemnation rolled in love is still condemning.

As I sip my coffee this morning and pray for a softer heart and understanding... the twinge in my gut and the nausea in my stomach is a sad confirmation of my initial reaction to this "act of love."  I pray for a way to define what I'm feeling so that I can dissect it, cut through the emotion and think rationally.  The word that keeps penetrating my thoughts is arrogance.

This "action of love" was dripping with arrogance and it sent a red flag soaring in my spirit.  Asking myself if I would ever do the same, the answer is a resounding no.  I wouldn't...but not because the thought behind it wasn't special...but because the river of arrogance carrying that thought is something to which I cannot relate.  I would never deem myself worthy enough to take this action.  I would never assume that I knew better than everyone else and that it was my duty to pass my knowledge, my perspective, my beliefs, my interpretations, and my outlooks onto them.  I would never assume that I knew more than anyone else.

How can an act of love send such a crushing blow?

Often times when judgment is dolled out under the pretense of love, we try to use that affection to justify the judgment; but it cannot.  There is no justification.  There is no blanket of love large enough to mask or hide the true spirit behind the action.

I don't sit here in anger this morning... I sit here in sadness.  Once more, arrogance has reared it's ugly head and taken out the feet of those it encountered.  Out of love, you say?

No.  Love waits and speaks when asked.  Love doesn't force or assume a position that is not theirs to assume.  Love doesn't push. Love doesn't drive a wedge.  "Love is patient and kind.  It does not envy or boast and it is not proud."

Thought, time and effort can be beautiful actions of love but only when they are not dipped in utter arrogance, laced with condemnation and a raw, hurtful action of judgment.

#crushed

 

Me...In A Nutshell

“Where does a person go to fit in when those of her own faith judge her to be too pagan and worldly?”

I saw this quote on a Facebook status the other day and it stuck with me.  Maybe it’s because it is the story of my life and the constant pondering of my soul.  You see, the greatest judgments in my life have come from those that share my faith, but do not share my religion because, as it would seem, I have none.

There is a vast difference between religion and relationship and I truly believe that God doesn’t care what religion you practice as long as you have a relationship with Him.  I believe He wants you to know Him and love Him as much as He loves you.  Does it matter if you worship the Almighty on a mountaintop or in a pew?  No.  It only matters that you worship Him.

Hate and violence stir our nation, and they stem from one source…judgment.  Mother Teresa said, “If you’re judging someone you are too busy to love them.”  There are countless verses in the Bible that speak against judging others.  The reason for this emphasis is that judgment stems from a spirit of hatefulness masked in an evangelical motive of purity labeled “God’s Agenda.”

But it is wrong.

 

The world may end in judgment, but the agenda of the Most High is one of love first, followed by mercy and compassion. Put your hate signs down.  Stop your condemnation of others.  If you need to point a finger go look in the mirror. Fight against the enemy, not against one another.  Who IS the enemy?  Hate is the enemy and it shows itself in the form of judgment derived from pseudo-godly arrogance and elitism.

Let me pose an odd question:  How many atheists are judging others for their beliefs or lifestyle choices? 

Now, I’m not saying I think people should become atheists.  I’m merely pointing out that somewhere along the line it seems that the "religious" people have picked up the torch of hate and have begun terrorizing the villagers and burning the towns…all in the name of God, which is ironic since God is love, not hate. 

Love is the most powerful influence in the world, and its counterpart, Hate, is the most destructive weapon known to mankind.  It starts in the heart and is fed by arrogance until it finally manifests itself in an act of violence against others.  "I'm right and you're wrong," is the foundation of judgment.  "I hold the truth and you are deceived," is the foundation of judgment.  Judgment, fed by arrogance and elitsim results in hateful actions, some of which can manifest violently.

I may not have a “religion” that those who share my faith can understand; but I have a relationship with God.  You won’t see me in church every Sunday, because quite frankly, I don’t always feel close to God while I’m in church.  You won’t find me handing out tracks, putting ‘Life’ tape over my lips or holding a sign that says ‘God hates homosexuality.’  I refuse to cast judgment on anyone else.  I'm not "right" and I don't hold a "truth" that isn't available to anyone else.  Thus, it isn’t my place to spew forth judment and frankly, I don’t want to carry the hatefulness that accompanies judgment in my heart. 

Hate destroys.  Whether you use a gun, a bomb, a knife, a rope, a sign or your words…hate brings about destruction; internal and external.  And if you are invoking judgment and destruction in the name of God or under the guise of His agenda, shame on you.  Shame, shame, shame on you.

I once had a fellow Christian scoff at me and say, “Well, how many people have you led to Christ?”  I didn’t answer, for it was none of her business.  That answer is between me and God.  I should have asked her, “How many people have you chased away from Christ with your judgmental arrogance and hateful elitism?”  That is the real question.

People of my faith don’t always like me…and I’m learning that that’s okay.  God likes me and He loves me and my faith is established in HIM alone and not the man-made, religious rules that cause damage to others.  Jesus said to love others, not judge them.  "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Would you stand in your own yard with 'Life' tape on your mouth?  Would you stand in your own yard holding a "God hates ME" sign?  Would you treat yourself the way you are treating the rest of the world who doesn't agree with you?

I might be nuts, but in the words of Gladys from the Ellen Show, “I love Jesus, but I drink a little.”  J  That’s me in a nutshell.  ~

Can I Get an AMEN up In Here?!

I overheard a conversation the other day between two women.  One was having difficulty dealing with daily life.  If I could break down all she shared into the simplest form, I would say she was feeling overwhelmed.  There were no major issues of illness, adultery or murder.  No one robbed a bank, got arrested or assaulted anyone else.  She was simply expressing the exhausting trials associated with juggling parenting, marriage and a career.

There were moments during their conversation when she cried, and my heart wept with empathy for her.  We’ve all been there.  In fact, I live there.  No matter how blessed we are, there are still days when we wonder how we’re going to get through….how we’re going to get it all done…and we feel like we just can’t handle one more thing.  It's those "calgon, take me away" moments.

 

 

As they talked and I eavesdropped, I had to force myself to bite my tongue and resist the temptation to barge into their conversation.  The friend, instead of just listening, took it upon herself to seize the moment for preaching.  She reminded her teary-eyed friend that the Bible tells us to do all things without complaining or grumbling or getting angry or being bitter and upset.  The tears that had pooled in the woman’s eyes now ran down her cheeks as the friend continued.  “Jesus tells us to be holy and seek perfection and to practice self-control…”

This went on for quite some time with the friend quoting Scripture and it took all of my strength not to leap to my feet and yell, “Shut-up!  You hypocritical bimbo!”  That’s what I was yelling inside my head.  Now, I don’t really know if this woman is a hypocrite or a bimbo, but those were the words that popped into my mind.

See, I can’t stand people like her.  I don’t have any close girlfriends who respond this way, and that’s a purposeful decision on my part.  There’s an uppity class of Christians who believe in holding one another accountable before the Lord… and even though the idea of this is Biblical…the method with which they carry it out is not.  I don’t associate with this kind of Christian for this very reason.

I believe God is way more concerned with us uplifting one another than holding one another "accountable."  I believe our main job is to love one another and not to judge.  The woman who got on her preachy high-horse in an attempt to help hold her friend accountable to God’s principals of Christianity, made her feel judged instead of loved.

This, quite frankly, pisses me off, and makes me want to tell every upity, know-it-all Christian what they can go kiss...

 

 

Jesus said, “Faith. Hope and Love; but the greatest of these is Love.”  When a girlfriend is crying, love doesn’t tell her she shouldn’t be bitter or angry or grumble.  Love says, “Cry it out.  I’m here.  I understand.  Life sucks sometimes.”

When a girlfriend is overworked and overwhelmed and feeling that she just can’t do one more thing, love doesn’t tell her she should seek perfection and strive for self-control.  Love says, “Can I help you?  Let me take the kids for a while and give you guys a date night.  Let's go have a coffee and whine a little.” (or wine a little!) 

Love listens…it does not preach…and it never judges.

Christianity is defined as having a “personal relationship with Jesus Christ” because it is just that:  PERSONAL.  That means it’s between God and you…no one else.  No one else has the right to preach to you or at you or judge you, not even when they are judging you with fundamental, Biblical principles.  Those principles are there for you to hold yourself accountable and for God to hold you accountable.  He doesn’t use them to judge you so what gives anyone else the right?  God uses those principles to help you grow and learn and become all that He has made you to be.  He doesn’t use them against you to beat you up or tear you down.  Only elitist Christians riding around on high-horses do that…and shame on them!

Can I get a frickin’ Amen up in here?!