An "Action of Love" ...Not Really

I often wonder what travels through the minds of people.  I'm sure others wonder this about me as well.  It's human nature to be curious and to seek understanding.  I also wonder how it is that some people can so easily judge under the guise of "love."  How they can put so much time and effort into something that, when that time and effort is stripped away, is nothing more than a foundation of judgment, hidden in what is supposed to be seen as an action of love.  How is it that they believe it is their job or their right to take this action...even if it came from a place of love...Judgment rolled in love is still judgment.  Condemnation rolled in love is still condemning.

As I sip my coffee this morning and pray for a softer heart and understanding... the twinge in my gut and the nausea in my stomach is a sad confirmation of my initial reaction to this "act of love."  I pray for a way to define what I'm feeling so that I can dissect it, cut through the emotion and think rationally.  The word that keeps penetrating my thoughts is arrogance.

This "action of love" was dripping with arrogance and it sent a red flag soaring in my spirit.  Asking myself if I would ever do the same, the answer is a resounding no.  I wouldn't...but not because the thought behind it wasn't special...but because the river of arrogance carrying that thought is something to which I cannot relate.  I would never deem myself worthy enough to take this action.  I would never assume that I knew better than everyone else and that it was my duty to pass my knowledge, my perspective, my beliefs, my interpretations, and my outlooks onto them.  I would never assume that I knew more than anyone else.

How can an act of love send such a crushing blow?

Often times when judgment is dolled out under the pretense of love, we try to use that affection to justify the judgment; but it cannot.  There is no justification.  There is no blanket of love large enough to mask or hide the true spirit behind the action.

I don't sit here in anger this morning... I sit here in sadness.  Once more, arrogance has reared it's ugly head and taken out the feet of those it encountered.  Out of love, you say?

No.  Love waits and speaks when asked.  Love doesn't force or assume a position that is not theirs to assume.  Love doesn't push. Love doesn't drive a wedge.  "Love is patient and kind.  It does not envy or boast and it is not proud."

Thought, time and effort can be beautiful actions of love but only when they are not dipped in utter arrogance, laced with condemnation and a raw, hurtful action of judgment.

#crushed

 

Out-Of-The-Closet Confessions

Since my post yesterday (entitled:  In the Words of the Eagles, Get Over It), I’ve received thirty-two emails.  Some of the emails shared personal stories and some just wanted to rail on me for my “open-mindedness” caused by my “pathetically weak Christian stance.”   But, all of the emails had one common thread and one woman stated it like this:  “How can you call yourself a Christian and have a pro-choice view?” 

This is sort of a coming-out-of-the-closet moment for me...so here it goes.

The question is really two separate questions, so I will answer them separately at first and then explain how they tie together.

Why do I call myself a Christian?

I call myself a Christian because I am a believer in Christ, having accepted Jesus as my personal Savior; and because I believe that everything good in my life is a blessing from God.  Without Him, I am nothing.

Why am I pro-choice?

I am pro-choice because I believe a woman has the right to choose what is done with her body.  I hate abortion.  I hate that it is necessary in our society.  There is no refuting that it is a terrible option.  That being said, I will not tell a woman who is raped that she must have the child.  I will not tell a young girl who has been molested that she has to birth the child.  I am pro-morality but until there are changes made in the moral fabric of our nation, I will remain pro-choice.  The alternative is worse.  If we overturn Roe vs. Wade without first increasing the overall morality in our world, we have simply set people up to fail and caused more destruction and more killing.  Teenagers, in particular, make mistakes.  Their hormones are raging for the first time in their lives.  They’re falling in love for the first time.  More times than not, they will succumb to passion and have sex.  That’s reality.  Should a sixteen year old girl be forced to have that baby?  Should she have to endure the social stigma attached to it? I’m not saying she should or should not.  I’m simply saying the choice should be hers.  If she is forced to have the baby, then …what other options lie before her?  Suicide?  A back alley abortion that could kill her or render her never able to conceive again?  Running away from home because of her family’s disapproval?  Killing or abandoning the baby once it is born?  

It is easy to sit from a high horse and cast judgment; but walk for a moment in the shoes of that sixteen year old girl and truly understand the fear, the heartache and the devastation of the circumstance.   You cannot mandate morality and you cannot fix immorality by forcing your will upon another person.  Each woman’s situation is unique in their life and only that woman can make the choice that she believes is best for her life at that moment. 

I wish abortion was unnecessary in our world; but while there are people making immoral decisions, while there are rapists and molesters among us, abortion must remain a viable option for women.

We should be striving not to make abortion illegal, but to make it unnecessary.

How can I call myself a Christian and take a pro-life stance when abortion is clearly an act of murder and God has said, “Thou shalt not kill?”

This is a good question.  A fair question.  My opinions, my views and even, at times, my actions don’t always support my spiritual beliefs.  I’m not perfect.  But beyond that, I refuse to live my life adherent to a belief system of “shoulds.”  For example, because I am a Christian I “should” take a pro-life stance.  Because I am a Christian, I “should” vote Republican.  Because I am a Christian, I “should” take a stance against homosexuality, I “should” never get drunk, I “should” actively try to save sinners and  I “should” not curse.  Because I am a Christian I “should” not have immoral thoughts and certainly not perform immoral acts.  The list goes on and on and on. 

The point is this:  I’m a Christian because of my love for Christ, not because I follow some sort of religious network of rules.  God knows my heart and He alone will change it in the areas in which it needs to be changed.  I live by relationship not by religion.  I live with love not judgment.

Simply stated:  Being a Christian gives me no right to judge others or condemn others or take a stance against their lifestyle or their choices.  I refuse to do that.  How people live, the choices they make and what they believe are between them and God.  My job is to love them and to help in any way I can… and that’s how I can call myself a Christian and still take a pro-life stance…without apology.

The religious fear and guilt movement of “shoulds” and “have to’s” in my life has ended.  I’m standing firm on my relationship with God; not on other people's opinion of me.  You can either judge me or love me.  The choice is yours.  ~