A Smoky Valentine

Since it is Valentine’s week, I want to give a shout out to some of my favorite fellow VHP authors whom I feel privileged to have met and grown to love.  They don’t know I’m doing this…it’s my secret surprise Valentine to each of them.  Up first, is Smoky Trudeau (Zeidel).  Smoky has written several books, but one of my favorites so far is On the Choptank Shores.  If you haven’t read it you’re missing out on a great novel.

Smoky Trudeau (Zeidel) is the author of novels, short stories, and two nonfiction books especially for writers: Front-Word, Back-Word, Insight Out: Lessons on Writing the Novel Lurking Inside You From Start to Finish; and Left Brained, Write Brained: 366 Writing Prompts and Exercises to Free Your Creative Spirit, Awaken Your Muse, And Challenge Your Skills Every Day of the Year, all from Vanilla Heart Publishing. She has published short stories and poetry in literary journals such as CALYX and online e-zines such as The Foundling Review, and was a 2003 Pushcart Prize nominee.

An ardent outdoorswoman with a deep reverence for nature, Smoky’s  Observations of an Earth Mage is a collection of prose and poetry celebrating the fragile beauty of our planet. She was the lead editor for Vanilla Heart Publishing’s 2010 Nature’s Gifts anthology.

Finally succumbing to her bohemian spirit and need to live near the mountains and the ocean, Smoky moved to Southern California in 2008, where she lives with her husband and daughter in a ramshackle cottage in the woods overlooking the San Gabriel Valley and the San Gabriel Mountains beyond. When she isn’t writing, she spends her time hiking in the mountains, camping in the Sierras, splashing in tide pools, and fighting the urge to speak in haiku.

To learn more about Smoky, visit her at http://SmokyZeidel.wordpress.com

Happy Valentine's Day Smoky! 

 

 

How Times Have Changed

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and it got me thinking. When I was single, Valentine’s Day was all about having a date for the evening, planning out what I would wear, painting my nails pink or red, anxiously awaiting his arrival, going out to dinner, the goodnight kiss, etc.  The whole day was spent dreaming of a romantically magical evening. 

Twenty years and two kids later… Valentine’s Day means something entirely different.  Now, it’s about making shoe boxes into the perfect Valentine receptacle, about purchasing Valentines for each child’s friends and classmates, and about buying teacher gifts and making treats for classroom parties.  By the time the day is done, I’m too tired to even think about a romantically magical evening… besides, finding a babysitter for Valentine’s Day is virtually impossible.  All the babysitters are young and single and busy preparing for their magical evenings.

By the time we get the kids to bed, my husband and I will look at each other and exhale.  We’ll both be beat.  We’ll open a bottle of red wine, exchange cards and snuggle on the couch to a re-run of Star Trek: The Next Generation.  Twenty years ago I would have said this was lame…but now, it feels blissfully wonderful.

 

And if we stay awake long enough... we enjoy a lot more than just a goodnight kiss.  :)

 

Five-Star Reader Reviews

It is always exciting to find positive reviews of my work.  It thrills me to hear that people enjoy my novels and this type of feedback motivates me as a writer to push-on through the dry spells and overcome the obstacles.  To all of my readers, thank you.  You give me strength and you make my heart smile.

Here are three Five-Star Reviews of my political cult suspense, House of Lies, that I discovered this morning.

“I don’t normally read novels that have romance in them so I was hesitant when I saw that this was labeled a “romantic suspense” but it came highly recommended so I gave it a shot and was pleasantly surprised.  There was more action than romance by far and I would even say that even though the book’s main character is a woman, it suits a male audience well.  Skylar is stubbornly likeable and I enjoyed the humor between Braznovich and his pal, Ernie.  I’ve read the controversy surrounding this book as far as whether it speaks truth about the house of prayer cult movement in the United States or whether it is purely a work of fiction, and the idea that the author could weave fiction and fact into such a suspenseful plot fascinates me.  It’s a great read with plot twists that surprised me at every turn and it’s the kind of story you’ll find yourself thinking about long after you’ve put it down.”  WyatteJ

 

“My only complaint about this book is that it ended abruptly and left me hanging, sort of like watching the Keiffer Sudderland tv series, 24.  It’s that action packed but has a great blend of romance and wanting, though it’s way more about action than romance.  I was worried Skylar was going to be a needy character but she stifles tears and attacks when needed.  She has trouble following instructions sometimes, but that was something I could relate to.  And Braznovich is the protector and lover every woman dreams of having.  This book is different from anything I’ve ever read because it felt like there was truth in the story, like these things really happen right under our noses and there really are people trying to save their loved ones from dangerous cult groups.  My favorite character is chain-smoking Ernie who always has a funny remark to add to a tense situation.  I highly recommend this book.  It’s suspenseful, funny, romantic and wildly action packed.”   StephanieLovesReading

 

“Great read!  It reads fast and furious.  There’s nothing but action, well, and a little bit of romantic play but the story focuses on the action, the romance is a sideline thing.  I liked the characters and could relate to almost all of them except for the bad guys.  It’s one of those stories you find yourself thinking about while you’re driving.  It just keeps popping in my head and I wonder how much of this sort of thing happens in real life and we just never know about it.  If you like suspense and not being able to figure out who done it, you will enjoy this read.”   BelkinBabe

Much is Said in Silence

Communication is essential to every human relationship; and at the very core of communication is love.  I’m not talking about goo-goo, gaa-gaa, romantic love.  I’m talking about genuine acknowledgment and respect for another individual.  I’m talking about a basic, fundamental proclamation of their existence in your world. 

Allow me to explain:

Even if you are angry and yelling at someone, the very act of spewing your emotions in verbal vibrations shows that you care enough to speak.  You care enough to open your mouth and explain your feelings to them.  It shows that on some level they are worth your time and your effort and your emotion.  Even if you don’t like the person, the fact that you take the time to tell them you don’t like them proves that on some deeper level you, at the very least, acknowledge their existence in your world.

Communication is what keeps relationships alive and growing.  Even when you love someone it doesn’t mean there won’t be arguments or disagreements… but love means you communicate your way through them and grow closer because of them.

Love does not mean you stop communicating.  Love tries harder. 

When someone goes deliberately silent, neither acknowledging a person’s reach, nor responding in any way to their attempts at communicating, it is a stance of hatefulness. There is no love in this form of stone-cold-silence. 

Let me say that I understand some people need time to process their thoughts before they respond.  Everyone is different and some take longer than others to think and pray before they speak.  The difference is neither right nor wrong.  However, during the processing period, an acknowledgment of existence should be issued.  It can be something as simple as:  “I received your email and will get back to you soon.”  An acknowledgment is an act of communication and an action of love that can belay much heartache and misunderstanding. 

An acknowledgment is an action that says, “I care.” It doesn’t mean a person must discuss things right away.  It doesn’t mean they have to change their processing time.  It is simply a return reach in the direction of communication. It is a deliberate gesture that says, “you are worth my time to respond.” 

When a person goes silent with no acknowledgment whatsoever, it is a deliberate power play of hate and ego.  It sends a message that the other person is neither worth their time nor their energy.  It says that the person doesn’t matter in their life.  It says that the person is not worth any effort whatsoever.

 

Much is said through deliberate silence.

Silence is one of the greatest human character weaknesses and ironically it usually shares a bed with arrogance. ~

Silence

Some say silence is golden, and in some situations this is true.  For example:  one should be silent while watching a movie, or in a golf game, or when hiding during a game of hide-and-go-seek.  But, when it comes to matters of the heart, silence is deadly.

For me, silence means you don’t matter.  To me, silence is the highest form of disrespect.  It states that you aren’t even worth the time for a response.  It says you don’t deserve even an acknowledgment of existence. 

Silence is a quiet form of hate.

 

For my heart, open communication is always better; but if a person refuses to even acknowledge a situation, then my heart grows more sad and eventually angry and hardened.   I suppose I am a little like Angel in the Just Call Me Angel series… I’d rather have you hurt me with your words than crush me with your silence.  Words are at least an attempt at communication and an attempt says, “I care enough to try.” 

 

Silence says, “You’re not worth my effort.”

Broken Chair

I’ve never been very good at ignoring a problem.  Once I am aware of it, I have this innate need to try and fix it.  This is a great attribute with regards to physical objects.  If something in our home breaks I’m on top of it.  I can duct tape it, hot glue it, putty it, paint it, clean it, caulk it, you name it, and I’ll find a way to repair the damaged object.  As a last resort, I’ll even call in a professional or if absolutely necessary, replace the item. 

Problems with people are not so easy to repair, nor is it easy to know when to stop trying.  I’ve come to believe that just like a broken chair, some relationships cannot be mended.  You can say the right words but if the other person ignores them, it is as if you haven’t spoken at all. 

It’s like trying to fix a wooden chair leg with Elmer’s glue…it’s not going to work. ~

Destroyed Dream

Have you ever had the rug pulled out from under you?  It feels like someone kicked you in the chest and all you can do is try to breathe.  Just breathe.  After you manage to drink in that first breath, a numbing sensation rushes through your body…. I think it’s preparing you for the heartache you’re about to feel.  Your mind rushes with “whys” and then more “whys” as you try to analyze what happened to bring you to this point.  How could someone do this?  Why would someone do this?

Your analysis points you to a truth you don’t want to face; but it’s the only reasonable explanation.  They don’t care.  And maybe it isn’t even that they don’t care, but that they don’t care enough.  They care more about someone else’s heart than yours.  They must… because to have hijacked your life and plans not once, but knowingly and willfully a second time…well…it doesn’t get more painful.

 

Have you ever wanted to freeze time, to stop the world as if it were a giant Ferris Wheel and get off of the ride for a while?  Not permanently… but just for a bit. 

Have you ever had someone sabotage your relationships with lies and then, when you call them on it, turn around and blame you for stirring up trouble?

 

 

Have you ever felt that you stood completely alone?  That even those close to you wouldn’t open their mouths and say, this is wrong.  Instead, for the sake of peace, they threw your heart under the bus. 

The first time was deemed a terrible misunderstanding and everyone said, “NOW, we know how you feel and it won’t happen again.”  A few days later…again.   No one even bothered to think deeper about the ramifications of this decision.  No one even bothered to mention it to you.  They simply ripped the dream from your fingers, as if it were theirs to have...but it belonged to you.

Have you ever heard empty promises about how their way won't affect what you had planned...that everything will be fine...but every word they speak only proves what your heart has felt...it only proves that they don't understand.  They think you're angry, but you're not; you're broken.

Have you ever been so broken and hurt that you can’t stop the tears from filling up your eyeballs and flooding your face?  No matter how hard you try…they just keep coming.  And the only thing left to do is vow to yourself that you will never let this happen again.

Yeah…me too. ~