Big Idiot Gone Off Track

I am a heterosexual, Caucasian woman, married to a heterosexual, Caucasian man.  We have friends of all shapes and sizes. Some are Caucasian, African American, Asian, Mexican and Indian, some are heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual, some Christian, some are Jewish, some are religious and some are not.  The point is our friendships are based on each individual person and not on color, race, religion, sexual preference or affiliation to any particular group.

That being said, I want to share what happened to me the other day.  I was speaking with a woman I had just met and she was asking me questions about where my children take lessons, on which teams they play, etc.  It was a typical mom-to-mom type of discussion.  At least, it started out that way…

When I mentioned one of the affiliations we have, her expression changed.  It was as if her emotions flat-lined and a disapproving glare filled her eyes.  She leaned in closer to me and whispered.  “Doesn’t it bother you to have your children exposed to a homosexual lifestyle?  Don’t you feel that’s setting a bad example for them?”

All I could do was step back in shock.  I was utterly amazed at the bigotry that faced me.  We were in public so making a big scene wasn’t an option.  I smiled politely and said, “No, these particular people are not only my friends, but they are a wonderful influence on me and my children.”  I excused myself and left; but it got me thinking…

I remember years ago when a very close friend of mine was told that she couldn’t work with a church youth group because of her sexual orientation.  I was livid then, and I’m still livid now.  This woman is one of the godliest people I know.  She’s unpretentious, she’s honest, she’s open and trustworthy.  I consider her to be one of my most reliable prayer warriors.  In fact, on 9/11 when for seven long minutes I didn’t know if my husband was on one of the United flights out of Boston, she was the first phone call I made.   I love her to death and the pastor who denied her the ability to work in the youth group made a terrible mistake.  There would have been no greater influence on those teenage lives than this woman.

Bigotry comes in many packages, but is most commonly wrapped up with a big, bright bow of religious righteousness.  What the bigot doesn’t understand is that there is nothing righteous in the condemnation or judgment of others. 

Jesus said to love others.  He didn’t say to love them only if they fit into your close-minded box of what you deem is right or good.  He simply said to love one another.  And here’s a statement that should get the right-wing religious panties in a wad:  Jesus didn’t say to try to change others.  He said only to love them.  Some religious people become arrogant about their ability to befriend a homosexual, as if the very fact that they are embracing what they consider to be a “sinner” makes them godlier.  In reality, their arrogance makes them less godly.

People…we are equal in God’s eyes.  Color, religion, race, sexual orientation…none of it matters.  We’re equal.  We all have our challenges and we all face our own demons.  Life is difficult enough without judging one another on top of it. 

What is a Bigot?  Big. Idiot. Gone. Off. Track.

I think we need to stop grouping people together and start looking at individual hearts.  ALL homosexuals aren’t bad influences any more than ALL heterosexuals are good influences.  Truth be told, I’d rather have my kids exposed to a loving relationship between two people of the same sex than a violent, hateful relationship between two people of the opposite sex.  Which one better teaches them the meaning of love and commitment?

Choose who will be in your life based on the connection you feel on the inside, not on the exterior pre-judgments of a religious society that has ironically condemned, degraded and abused more people throughout history than any other group.  

 

Love God.  Love others. It’s really that simple.  ~

 

 

 

Gender Line

I have to share a portion of a letter I received from a woman whom I have never met in person, but have been virtual friends with for the past several years.  She has given me permission to discuss this topic because we have grown to a place where we are now able to laugh about it; but I will not be using her name.

This is what she wrote:

I’d like to meet you face to face because I find myself strangely drawn to you.  I know you’re married but I can’t stop thinking about you and I’d like us to be closer.  There’s something deeper in you that draws me and attracts me and I want to know you better.

The rest of the letter is more personal and doesn’t need to be exposed.  Suffice to say, had this letter come from a man I would have disregarded it; but, since it was written by a woman, I felt compelled to respond.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been confronted by a woman, but this time was different.  This particular person wasn’t “hitting” on me in the context of some sexual innuendo, she was reaching toward me because she felt (in her words) “comfortably close” to me.

This got me thinking…

Whether male or female we don’t control to whom we find ourselves attracted.  Our only control is over actions taken on the basis of that attraction.  Sometimes even gender lines can blur.  Now, I realize in making that statement that I’ve just angered every evangelical, right-winger out there…I’m sorry.  Still, a soul attraction can occur and that isn’t based on the exterior, but forms from something that shines and connects from the inside.

 

 

There are people on the planet that simply make you feel good, that make you feel loved and appreciated and even adored.  There are human beings with whom you connect, and we don’t get to choose who they are…sometimes they just find each other, as if magnetically drawn.  Loving someone doesn’t mean the relationship has to be sexual…sometimes just being closely knit is powerful enough.  There exists a magic in being “comfortably close” to another person and I’ve come to realize that that magic cannot always be determined or defined by a concrete gender line. ~