Unmasking the Mask

Every October my husband and I throw a Halloween costume party.  It’s become our annual tradition and I love it.  I love the work that goes into it and the stories that come out of it.  I’ve always liked parties, of any kind.  Dinner parties, birthday parties, surprise parties, graduation parties, Fourth of July parties, etc.  I fully believe life offers us legitimate reasons to throw a party and we ought to take every opportunity to celebrate goodness in our world.  

 

Despite my love for all parties, costume parties are my favorite because they allow me to see a different side of the people in my life.  Donning a costume takes time, interest and creativity.  People go through the trouble of preparing for a costume party because they really want to be at the party and to be a part of it.  To me, that sets things off on the right foot from the moment they arrive.  When your guests want to be there and want to show off their costumes, excitement abounds!

 

In addition, no matter who you are, when you are in costume the playing field levels.  There were doctors and lawyers in attendance at our party, but no one would have been able to pick them out of the crowd.  There were veterinarians, writers, waitresses, CEO’s, homemakers, engineers, salesman, realtors, principals, nurses, teachers and firemen… but no one wore these labels at the party.  Instead, they had become television characters, vampires, cats, witches, cowboys, zombies, pirates, priests, etc.  The opening line wasn’t, “What do you do for a living?”  It was, “Wow!  Where did you get that costume?”

 

Another thing I’ve noticed about costume parties is that people are always smiling.  There’s a silliness attached to dressing up and it causes everyone to relax a little bit more.  When we all look silly, silly then becomes the acceptable norm. 

 

Each year I get the chance to meet new people at this party.  Friends bring their friends, thus I make new friends.  Flowing fountains of poisonous potion help loosen inhibitions and lips move easily in conversation.  I love that.  I love that who people really are just sort of drips from them when they feel the safety of a costume. Conversations become honest.

 

It is often through these types of parties that I learn who my true friends are, and often they are not the ones I thought.  I have learned that sometimes those closest to you actually know you the least, and those whom you thought were mere acquaintances care deeply about you.  It’s as if the costume unmasks the mask and the heart is thusly shown.  ~    

Every-Day People with Great Stories

I am currently working on a suspense story about a forty year old woman who finds herself overwhelmed by the prospect that her life is half over.  With her children now in college, her wonderfully warm home has become an empty nest…a place where her big-shot attorney husband comes only to sleep, shower and change his clothes.  She’s lonely.  For eighteen years her life has revolved around her children, their interests, their activities, and their dreams.  Somewhere along the line she lost herself in them and now that they are gone, she wonders if life is even worth living.  Her lavish home in an upscale neighborhood feels like nothing more than a million dollar shroud of loneliness.  Her hopes and dreams have all but been forgotten until an old friend reminds her of a passion once pursued, now lying dormant, but still very much a part of her heart.

If you are in this age group and have felt this empty nest syndrome…I would love to hear your story.  How did you handle it?  How is your life different today?  Email me at:  AuthorSRClaridge@gmail.com

Behind every great novel are the great stories of every-day people. ~

Big Idiot Gone Off Track

I am a heterosexual, Caucasian woman, married to a heterosexual, Caucasian man.  We have friends of all shapes and sizes. Some are Caucasian, African American, Asian, Mexican and Indian, some are heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual, some Christian, some are Jewish, some are religious and some are not.  The point is our friendships are based on each individual person and not on color, race, religion, sexual preference or affiliation to any particular group.

That being said, I want to share what happened to me the other day.  I was speaking with a woman I had just met and she was asking me questions about where my children take lessons, on which teams they play, etc.  It was a typical mom-to-mom type of discussion.  At least, it started out that way…

When I mentioned one of the affiliations we have, her expression changed.  It was as if her emotions flat-lined and a disapproving glare filled her eyes.  She leaned in closer to me and whispered.  “Doesn’t it bother you to have your children exposed to a homosexual lifestyle?  Don’t you feel that’s setting a bad example for them?”

All I could do was step back in shock.  I was utterly amazed at the bigotry that faced me.  We were in public so making a big scene wasn’t an option.  I smiled politely and said, “No, these particular people are not only my friends, but they are a wonderful influence on me and my children.”  I excused myself and left; but it got me thinking…

I remember years ago when a very close friend of mine was told that she couldn’t work with a church youth group because of her sexual orientation.  I was livid then, and I’m still livid now.  This woman is one of the godliest people I know.  She’s unpretentious, she’s honest, she’s open and trustworthy.  I consider her to be one of my most reliable prayer warriors.  In fact, on 9/11 when for seven long minutes I didn’t know if my husband was on one of the United flights out of Boston, she was the first phone call I made.   I love her to death and the pastor who denied her the ability to work in the youth group made a terrible mistake.  There would have been no greater influence on those teenage lives than this woman.

Bigotry comes in many packages, but is most commonly wrapped up with a big, bright bow of religious righteousness.  What the bigot doesn’t understand is that there is nothing righteous in the condemnation or judgment of others. 

Jesus said to love others.  He didn’t say to love them only if they fit into your close-minded box of what you deem is right or good.  He simply said to love one another.  And here’s a statement that should get the right-wing religious panties in a wad:  Jesus didn’t say to try to change others.  He said only to love them.  Some religious people become arrogant about their ability to befriend a homosexual, as if the very fact that they are embracing what they consider to be a “sinner” makes them godlier.  In reality, their arrogance makes them less godly.

People…we are equal in God’s eyes.  Color, religion, race, sexual orientation…none of it matters.  We’re equal.  We all have our challenges and we all face our own demons.  Life is difficult enough without judging one another on top of it. 

What is a Bigot?  Big. Idiot. Gone. Off. Track.

I think we need to stop grouping people together and start looking at individual hearts.  ALL homosexuals aren’t bad influences any more than ALL heterosexuals are good influences.  Truth be told, I’d rather have my kids exposed to a loving relationship between two people of the same sex than a violent, hateful relationship between two people of the opposite sex.  Which one better teaches them the meaning of love and commitment?

Choose who will be in your life based on the connection you feel on the inside, not on the exterior pre-judgments of a religious society that has ironically condemned, degraded and abused more people throughout history than any other group.  

 

Love God.  Love others. It’s really that simple.  ~

 

 

 

Gender Line

I have to share a portion of a letter I received from a woman whom I have never met in person, but have been virtual friends with for the past several years.  She has given me permission to discuss this topic because we have grown to a place where we are now able to laugh about it; but I will not be using her name.

This is what she wrote:

I’d like to meet you face to face because I find myself strangely drawn to you.  I know you’re married but I can’t stop thinking about you and I’d like us to be closer.  There’s something deeper in you that draws me and attracts me and I want to know you better.

The rest of the letter is more personal and doesn’t need to be exposed.  Suffice to say, had this letter come from a man I would have disregarded it; but, since it was written by a woman, I felt compelled to respond.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been confronted by a woman, but this time was different.  This particular person wasn’t “hitting” on me in the context of some sexual innuendo, she was reaching toward me because she felt (in her words) “comfortably close” to me.

This got me thinking…

Whether male or female we don’t control to whom we find ourselves attracted.  Our only control is over actions taken on the basis of that attraction.  Sometimes even gender lines can blur.  Now, I realize in making that statement that I’ve just angered every evangelical, right-winger out there…I’m sorry.  Still, a soul attraction can occur and that isn’t based on the exterior, but forms from something that shines and connects from the inside.

 

 

There are people on the planet that simply make you feel good, that make you feel loved and appreciated and even adored.  There are human beings with whom you connect, and we don’t get to choose who they are…sometimes they just find each other, as if magnetically drawn.  Loving someone doesn’t mean the relationship has to be sexual…sometimes just being closely knit is powerful enough.  There exists a magic in being “comfortably close” to another person and I’ve come to realize that that magic cannot always be determined or defined by a concrete gender line. ~