Out-Of-The-Closet Confessions

Since my post yesterday (entitled:  In the Words of the Eagles, Get Over It), I’ve received thirty-two emails.  Some of the emails shared personal stories and some just wanted to rail on me for my “open-mindedness” caused by my “pathetically weak Christian stance.”   But, all of the emails had one common thread and one woman stated it like this:  “How can you call yourself a Christian and have a pro-choice view?” 

This is sort of a coming-out-of-the-closet moment for me...so here it goes.

The question is really two separate questions, so I will answer them separately at first and then explain how they tie together.

Why do I call myself a Christian?

I call myself a Christian because I am a believer in Christ, having accepted Jesus as my personal Savior; and because I believe that everything good in my life is a blessing from God.  Without Him, I am nothing.

Why am I pro-choice?

I am pro-choice because I believe a woman has the right to choose what is done with her body.  I hate abortion.  I hate that it is necessary in our society.  There is no refuting that it is a terrible option.  That being said, I will not tell a woman who is raped that she must have the child.  I will not tell a young girl who has been molested that she has to birth the child.  I am pro-morality but until there are changes made in the moral fabric of our nation, I will remain pro-choice.  The alternative is worse.  If we overturn Roe vs. Wade without first increasing the overall morality in our world, we have simply set people up to fail and caused more destruction and more killing.  Teenagers, in particular, make mistakes.  Their hormones are raging for the first time in their lives.  They’re falling in love for the first time.  More times than not, they will succumb to passion and have sex.  That’s reality.  Should a sixteen year old girl be forced to have that baby?  Should she have to endure the social stigma attached to it? I’m not saying she should or should not.  I’m simply saying the choice should be hers.  If she is forced to have the baby, then …what other options lie before her?  Suicide?  A back alley abortion that could kill her or render her never able to conceive again?  Running away from home because of her family’s disapproval?  Killing or abandoning the baby once it is born?  

It is easy to sit from a high horse and cast judgment; but walk for a moment in the shoes of that sixteen year old girl and truly understand the fear, the heartache and the devastation of the circumstance.   You cannot mandate morality and you cannot fix immorality by forcing your will upon another person.  Each woman’s situation is unique in their life and only that woman can make the choice that she believes is best for her life at that moment. 

I wish abortion was unnecessary in our world; but while there are people making immoral decisions, while there are rapists and molesters among us, abortion must remain a viable option for women.

We should be striving not to make abortion illegal, but to make it unnecessary.

How can I call myself a Christian and take a pro-life stance when abortion is clearly an act of murder and God has said, “Thou shalt not kill?”

This is a good question.  A fair question.  My opinions, my views and even, at times, my actions don’t always support my spiritual beliefs.  I’m not perfect.  But beyond that, I refuse to live my life adherent to a belief system of “shoulds.”  For example, because I am a Christian I “should” take a pro-life stance.  Because I am a Christian, I “should” vote Republican.  Because I am a Christian, I “should” take a stance against homosexuality, I “should” never get drunk, I “should” actively try to save sinners and  I “should” not curse.  Because I am a Christian I “should” not have immoral thoughts and certainly not perform immoral acts.  The list goes on and on and on. 

The point is this:  I’m a Christian because of my love for Christ, not because I follow some sort of religious network of rules.  God knows my heart and He alone will change it in the areas in which it needs to be changed.  I live by relationship not by religion.  I live with love not judgment.

Simply stated:  Being a Christian gives me no right to judge others or condemn others or take a stance against their lifestyle or their choices.  I refuse to do that.  How people live, the choices they make and what they believe are between them and God.  My job is to love them and to help in any way I can… and that’s how I can call myself a Christian and still take a pro-life stance…without apology.

The religious fear and guilt movement of “shoulds” and “have to’s” in my life has ended.  I’m standing firm on my relationship with God; not on other people's opinion of me.  You can either judge me or love me.  The choice is yours.  ~

 

 

 

 

In The Words of the Eagles: GEt OvEr IT!

I love this sign.  It states the obvious… that we all need to take responsibility for our actions and stop blaming everyone else.  McDonald’s doesn’t make anyone fat; a person’s choice to eat it every day and never exercise does.  I think we all like to have a scapegoat, someone we can point a finger at and say, “It’s your fault.  If this didn’t exist, or if that wasn’t around, nothing bad would happen.”  If fast food restaurants didn’t exist, obesity wouldn’t be an issue for Americans.  If we had stricter gun control laws, people wouldn’t shoot other people.  If we overturn Roe vs. Wade, we’ll increase the morality in America. 

It sounds ludicrous because it IS ludicrous.

If you take away McDonalds, people will still suffer from obesity because until they make the personal choice to improve their eating habits and exercise, nothing will change.  It isn’t about a restaurant menu, it’s about what a person chooses to eat. 

“Remove ALL fast food chains and our nation will be healthier!”  

Okaaaaay… while you’re at it, you need to remove soda, chips, most pork products, most breads, syrup, all desserts, most cereals, etc., from every grocery store.   I won’t go into the economic ramifications of such a stupid idea; but let it be clear that you cannot mandate health.  People either choose to live a healthy lifestyle or they don’t.  It IS their rightful choice to make and whatever consequences come with that choice is no one’s fault but their own.

The same is true of gun control.  If we outlawed a person’s ability to own and carry a weapon, only the law abiding citizens would adhere to the new regulation; thus, there would still be crime because the criminals would continue to carry illegal guns.   Committing a crime is a personal choice, and one the law cannot confine.

“If guns weren’t so easy to come by, then less crimes would be committed.” 

Okaaaay…if we make it harder for law abiding citizens to get registered and licensed to carry a gun, how does that lower the crime rate?  The people who are jumping through the hoops to follow the law are NOT the ones killing other people.  Despite the laws, criminals will find a way to get a gun if they want it.  Crime is a personal choice.

“If we overturn Roe vs. Wade and make abortion illegal, we will have raised the morality of our nation.”

I’m hitting the buzzer.  In the words of Jim Carey, “Wrongo!”  (But thanks for playing.)  Nobody likes abortion.  Nobody wants abortion.  Everyone agrees it's a bad thing surrounded by a devestating circumstance.  Nobody says, "abortion is good, healthy and right."  It's not.  It's tragic and awful and heartbreaking for everyone involved.  But, what must be understood is that morality is not something that can be mandated.  The people who are going to choose to have pre-marital sex are going to have it regardless of the law.  The people who are going to choose to have an abortion are going to have it, regardless of the law. 

In trying to mandate morality by overturning Roe vs. Wade, you will increase the teen suicide rate, endanger young women who will now have to seek help in back alleys, have more babies killed after they are born or abandoned, etc.  A law cannot increase morality in our nation; but, oh, the destruction it can bring.  Morality is a personal choice.  It starts in the home and in the heart, not on a ballot.

Laws are put into place to protect people and to protect our freedoms as American citizens.  If people break those laws and thereby hurt others, then they are held accountable for those actions.  But, people must make their own choices.   Choose morality or immorality.  Choose to obey the law or become a criminal.  Choose to eat healthy or not.   Whatever you choose, you will reap the consequences of that choice and there is no one to blame but yourself for the choices you have made. 

My jeans are tighter today because I’ve eaten like crap this week.  Whose fault is that?  McDonalds?  No… it’s MY fault.  A gunman goes into a theatre and kills innocent people.  Whose fault is that?  The NRA?  No…it’s the gunman’s fault.

The Eagles sang a song called, “Get Over It.”  One of my favorite lines from that song is, “You bitch about the present and blame it on the past, I’d like to find your inner child and kick its little ass.  Get Over It!”

What wisdom!  It’s time we stop blame-shifting and start taking personal responsibility for our actions.  Fast food isn’t the cause of obesity, people are.  Guns aren’t the cause of school shootings and theatre massacres, whacked out people are. Abortion isn’t the cause of decaying morality among the youth, it’s a symptom of immoral decisions...decisions made by people. 

God, Himself, gave us free will.  He gave us the right to choose whether we would, as individuals, follow Him or not.  That choice is personal, involving only you and your Creator.   

Removing choice will not remove adversity.  What you choose for your life doesn’t make it the right choice for mine; and vice versa.  Life is personal.  Choices are personal.  Blame is personal.  So, make your choices.  Choose wisely.  Accept Responsibility.  And in the words of the Eagles, “Get Over It!”   ~

 

 

 

Ass-Grabbing Gestapo

My husband and I go to Chicago at least twice a year because we love the city and I so that I can conduct research before I begin writing the next book in the Just Call Me Angel series, which is set in Chicago. We were standing on the Navy Pier, watching our kids ride the swings for the umpteenth time.  We were standing below them, waving each time they flew around overhead.  Adherent to the name “Windy City,” the breeze coming off of the lake was chilly and my husband wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm.  I was wearing a red sun dress and as he snuggled me close, he let his right hand rest just below the small of my back, against my bottom.  Now, let me point out that he was not obnoxiously grabbing my ass nor fondling me in public.  His hand was simply resting there as he held me.  Quite honestly, I didn’t even notice it was on my butt.  That’s how non-sexual his touch was. 

So, you can only imagine my surprise when this woman tugs on arm and says to me, “He needs to take his hand off your backside.  You’re in public.”  She was clearly appalled.

I smiled politely and apologized.  “I’m sorry.  I didn’t even realize it was there,” I said, and reached back and pulled his hand further up so it was now resting on the small of my back.

She huffed and walked away and it got me thinking.  (Beware:  Rant Ahead)

Who the hell did she think she was?  The ass-grabbing Gestapo?  I could understand if he was stroking or rubbing or even patting my butt in public, but he wasn’t.  There was nothing inappropriate or graphic or sexual in our contact whatsoever.  I was cold, he held me close to keep me warm.  Period.  No kissing.  No thrusting.  I didn’t drop to my knees to indulge in indescribable acts of pleasure right there on the Pier.  For heaven’s sake!  What gave her the right to tell me where my husband could put his hands? She obviously hadn’t been laid in a long time!  Seriously, people, if something that non-offensive offends you, look away and keep walking; because, trust me, the problem lies with you.  I was polite to her, though she certainly didn’t deserve it.  I should have taken his hands and placed them squarely on my breasts, or pushed my bottom into his groin, bent over in front of him and screamed, “Oh, yes!  Yes!  Harder!  Faster!” If she wanted something to complain about I’d have been more than willing to oblige.

If I could go back and do it over, I’d smile at her, as I reach over, grab my husband’s manliness and say, “If he can’t touch my ass, then I’ll just stroke his assets for a while…is this better?”

Yes, next time I encounter an uptight, hasn’t-been-laid-in-years, mean old sphinx, I’m going to flash my tits or do something really offensive.   Why?  Because I can’t stand people who go out of their way to stick their judgmental, little, condemning noses into other people’s business.  You want to judge me, I’ll gladly give you something to judge and it will start with me bending over and you kissing my big, white ass. 

I mean, after all, if I flash my tits they're no longer concerned about my ass, right?  Tit flashing sounds like the perfect solution to stop the ass-grabbing gestapo. ~

Colorful Reflections

I’ve been a bit under the weather these past couple of days, which is no fun.  The upside is that my body has forced me to lie down and rest, wherein I have had time to reflect on things that often get lost in the hectic hustle and bustle of daily life.  Looking out my window, I see the leaves on the trees changing colors and feel the crisp, cool air as it blows through my bedroom curtains.  I love fall.  It reminds me that everything in life is seasonal…and that everything changes as it grows and time passes.  Change can be both beautiful and difficult.  Letting go of what was so you can embrace what is and what is yet to come, can be scary; but without change, our lives and hearts grow dormant and dry.  The turning leaves remind me that a new adventure is ahead…that life has more to offer…and that just as each tree is colorful in its own way, so are the people around me.

Death Trap - Excerpt Contest

Guess correctly in the comment section below or via email to authorsrclaridge@gmail.com and win a free copy of my 2013 Pushcart Prize nominated short story, Petals of Blood.  Be the very first to provide the correct answer and you can win a free downloadable copy of Death Trap.  Good luck!  :)

The excerpt below is from the fourth book in the Just Call Me Angel series, entitled Death Trap.  Who is Angel with in this scene? 



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Before she had a chance to ask him what this was all about, he pressed her against the side of the wall and kissed her; deeply and passionately.  He kissed her in a way he hadn’t done in a long, long time and Angel felt her body melt beneath his touch.  His fingers wrapped around the back of her neck and weaved through her hair, as he pulled her close, using his other hand to guide her hips against his.  She felt his wanting and wished for a moment she could make the world and all of time stand still so they could openly express the ignited desire trapped between them.  His fingertips brushing gently over her breasts confirmed something she knew all along; her body ached for him.  Other men had come and gone but he knew her like no one else.  There was no awkward fumbling, no questions and no fear of embarrassment; he knew exactly what she liked.  The truth was, despite her mixed emotions, she had missed him.  They’re relationship had ended so abruptly that her heart never truly learned to let him go.

“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.

            “Say you feel what I feel between us,” he urged.

            “I do.  You know I do.”

            He grunted frustration and then pulled Angel into another deep kiss.  “I want you.” He smiled and his brown eyes sparkled with desire.  “I want you so bad I can’t concentrate.”

            Angel knew the feeling.   There was a part of her that wanted to push him into one of the patio chairs and climb on.  The thought sent shivers of delight up her back and she wondered if he knew what she was imagining.

            Leaning his hands against the wall on each side of Angel, he whispered in her ear.  “Someday I’m gonna bring you out here, when the night is clear and you can see a million stars stretched across the sky; and I’m gonna make-love to you.”

            Angel couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face.

            “I’m gonna touch you in ways no man has ever touched you,” he whispered and she could feel the warmth of his breath against her ear.  “I’m gonna bring you more pleasure than you ever dreamed possible,” he said and then ran his tongue up her neck and fondled her ear lobe.  Angel’s body flushed with desire.  “I know how to take you there,” he said and Angel knew he wasn’t bluffing.  She remembered his magic fingers.  “I’m going to make you tremble and shake in my arms,” he whispered and Angel felt like she was going to explode from the longing that was filling her entire being.  He brought his lips close to hers.  “Do you want that as much as I do?”  He asked.

            Yes!  Omigod, yes, yes, yes!  She didn’t say it aloud, but gave a simple nod of her head.  While she was hanging in the anticipation of another passionate kiss, he pulled back. 

            “I gotta go,” he grinned, “but I’ll be back to finish what we started.”

 

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"You Will Not Budge Me"

When a person says, “You’ll never budge me,” what they are really saying is that your opinion, what matters to you, and how you feel are of unimportance to them.  Can there be anything more painful than knowing your heart doesn’t matter?

I look back at many of the situations in my life, when I made poor choices and hurt people with wreck-less behavior or selfish actions.  If I could go back in time I’d certainly do things differently.  Despite my many flaws, and there are many, I can honestly say I have never ignored someone who came to me out of concern for my well-being.  I never arrogantly said, “You will not budge me.”  I never egotistically turned a blind-eye and uttered, “We’ll just agree to disagree.”  I think that’s because, deep down in my heart, I always respected the people who cared about me.  Even if I was angry at them, I still held a certain respect for the fact that they loved me and that they wanted only the best for me.  In my most rebellious moments, their words were not ignored; but sank deep into my heart and tenderized the places I had become hardened.

Years ago, when I moved to Los Angeles and became involved in a New Age cult-type movement, my mother and my husband confronted me with their concerns.  In fact, it was the fact that they took the time to study the movement and continued to talk with me about it, that eventually led to me opening my eyes and realizing how dangerously false it was.  Even when I thought I was right and they were wrong, I listened and I never said, “You will not budge me.”  Deep down, I knew their words came from love and I respected them enough to know that they wouldn’t come to me with lies; but only with the truth.

In looking back, I realize that God strategically placed people in my life to help steer me away from danger.  Had I arrogantly blown them off, I shudder to think where I would be today…or if I would even be alive today.  Egotism often blocks our ability to see the truth, even when it lies right in front of us.

 

In the Just Call Me Angel series, Angel often struggles with a desire to rebel against the rules of the Mafia world. But she realizes that the people around her, her family, want the best for her and help provide balance in what can often be a violent, dangerous place. She learns quickly that arrogance can get a person killed and she must trust those who love her with her life; knowing they care enough to protect her. Even when Giovanni’s words are not what she wants to hear, she respects the fact that he will not mis-lead her; and despite their many disagreements, she never says, “You will not budge me.” Deep down she knows that her God-given family will never let her down.

 

Most of us don't live in the Mafia world, but I think it is important to realize the danger of arrogance in the real world.  I think it is crucial to understand that the human ego can be used as a weapon and can hurt the people that love you.  It might not get you killed like in the Just Call Me Angel series, but arrogance can certainly kill relationships.

 

Proudly uttering the words, "You will not budge me," might come back to haunt you, because one day, you might want to budge and you will have pushed everyone who truly loves you, out of your life. ~

 

 

 

For more information on the Just Call Me Angel series, please visit www.AuthorSRClaridge.com